Dem 10s. That's right; Posh Hammer can now stop pretending he doesn't give a shit where he finishes in this list, as he's just pipped to the crown in second place.
You have absolutely NO IDEA how long I've been waiting for this. Pretty much the only reason I set this whole thing up all those years ago was to get a straight-up chance to jugular the fuck out of this bellend. Of course, remember that back then there was no genius idea such as a #ShoutboxFeud to help facilitate this, so this thread will simply have to do.
Hahahahha, do you fucking remember the ShoutboxFeud stuff?! Christ.
Anyway, the guy is an absolute twatguzzle. As far as misogynist homophobes with absolutely no self-awareness go, Posh certainly ranks amongst the worst. Of course, he'll hide behind his brilliant guise of meterosexuality (ooo, I was a trolly-dolly, ooo, look at my hair, I obviously love the gays!) but the mask has well and truly slipped. We have all now seen Posh for what he is. The muggiest of mugs.
Rarely seen in the football forums, Posh is a particular menace of General Chat. Be it in Sheep where he's being an insufferable c***, or be it him presenting another genius idea (first Shoutbox Feuds event is July 3rd, in case you were wondering), he doesn't change his tune. A derisory joke about homosexuality here, a reference to his maid there, the Posh Hammer formula is a successful one.
I never really minded Posh over on TFF (he was on there, I think), he was just one of a number of nuisances. Upon the changeover though, he grabbed his chance. In the forums infancy he initiated an attempt to become relevant. In the feelgood nature of the forums early days, it actually worked, of course. The top posters list was compiled shortly thereafter, and he somehow came joint 10th. He came joint fucking 10th. If Saddlerrad had shut the forum down there and then I think we'd have all understood. How everyone allowed him to be voted among the top 10 best posters on this forum is fucking despicable and I know I am still hanging my head in shame. You should be too.
And it was his content in that thread which properly evolved him into 'top mug' status. "I'd be delighted to even get a single vote," he started, despite knowing full well plenty had already been persuaded to vote for him simply because he voted for them (you know who you are, you new clique ruffians).
But he didn't stop there. The countdown reached the top 50, and Posh continued: "OMG I'D LOVE IT IF I FINISHED IN THE TOP 50."
Time passed, posters fell. To my dismay, I finished joint 18th, with Posh Hammer's name still not having been revealed. They were dark days in the Steady household, with my ratio nowhere near infamy at this stage.
"There's no chance I'm finishing in the top 50," the c*** opined. "Just fuck off," everyone else thought. Some, thankfully, did so out loud.
Eventually of course, Posh was named. "Thank you so much guys I love you all remember I've got an attractive wife and I live in Dubai btw". The sorriest chapter in 1FF's history was closed before the forum had even really began. The pathetic pandering, the faux-surprise, the ridiculous being-a-massive-bellendishness. Posh Hammer in that thread was Posh Hammer at his very, very worst. Ladies and gentlemen. He is your second biggest mug on 1FF.
Ratio: 0.46. Just like Nigel Farage, Posh is learning that misogyny and homophobia gets you places in the modern world. Good lad.
Would need a different approach. Presumably to be considered "unremarkable" people mustn't notice you but if people don't notice you, they can't vote for you. Most posts without getting recognition on either list might be a good start...