Doing a Poo - Which one are you?

[mnb089mnb]

Must admit, I've been batting quite a high average these past few years. I'm guessing diet and age catching up with me.

 

[spireite]

Around type 3 or 4 typically I would say. How annoying is it though when you that poop. You know, the one where you wipe, and wipe, and wipe, and still.. poop

 

[Pagnell]

Type 7. Fizzy gravy.

 

[JoeJoeJoeJoe]

We have this in the members section you utter peasants.

 

[The Iron]

Mine is usually shaped like a question mark.

 

[yellow]

how satisfying is the perfect poo!?

 

[slaphead]

Ahh, my favourite thread, open to the masses.

Usually a gentle 3 or 4. However, just returned from Egypt and currently experiencing the aftermath of Rameses Revenge due to a combination of shitty beer, dodgy curries and hot weather. Definitely been a type 7 for about a week, but I'm not sure about a shower, a fire hose was more appropriate. Still, things are slowly returning to normal and I long for the day I can have a nice long slow number 3 with minimal effort.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

Doing Apu?

 

[ZianfrancoGoal]

how satisfying is the perfect poo!?

10-(x-1)/10

 

[mnb089mnb]

Mine is usually shaped like a question mark.

Quizzical.

 

[mistermagic]

3. Need much more than 4-5 wipes though.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

Anything from 1-5 depending on what I've eat.

 

[T.A]

Having Crohn's it's a complete surprise every time.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

Just did a number 3, 6 wipes. (7th was clean)

Very satisfying poo.

 

[Pliny Harris]

Type three, out of the hatch faster than a Chelsea manager. 'Mirite lads?

 

[Ebeneezer Goode]

Even with Malteser shits, what sort of savage doesn't wipe?

 

[Gilly?]

This is a shit thread.

 

[spireite]

Even with Malteser shits, what sort of savage doesn't wipe?

Surely you'd give it at least one courtesy wipe, just to make sure

 

[SALTIRE]

I never check, why the hell would I look at it!?! Was kind of forced to today however as it landed sideways and took four flushes to get rid!

 

[Blitzballer]

Anything between 1 and 4.
Mind you when I had a three day bender I was shitting just a yellow liquid and it stung my ring piece whilst passing. Almost like a yellow acid

 

[Red]

Even with Malteser shits, what sort of savage doesn't wipe?

savage.

I never check, why the hell would I look at it!?! Was kind of forced to today however as it landed sideways and took four flushes to get rid!

You should check. I saw the face of Jesus in one of my plops once. I reported it to the churxh of England, but I never got a reply.

I'm a 3-4 man on the scale. I've found shitting to be an irksome undertaking now I'm in my mid 40s. When I was younger I could knock a shit out in 30 seconds flat and not have to return a few seconds later when I'd concluded that the act was not completed.

Now, I'm on the bog for around 8-10 minutes.

 

[SALTIRE]

Ate too much yesterday, must've had four bad boys, and then first thing this morning as well! Been averaging one/day latterly. May start a record of it.

 

[mowgli]

Once a day type 3,with me 2 wipes and all clean.

 

[slaphead]

Mind you when I had a three day bender I was shitting just a yellow liquid and it stung my ring piece whilst passing. Almost like a yellow acid

Might I suggest this scenario calls for Johnsons babywipes with a hint of Aleo Vera. Brings soothing loveliness to the tortured sphincter.

 

[Blitzballer]

Might I suggest this scenario calls for Johnsons babywipes with a hint of Aleo Vera. Brings soothing loveliness to the tortured sphincter.

LOL already ahead of you, although I don't have the ones with Aleo Vera.
A wet wipe is seriously satisfying after a painful dump. When it touches your ring piece I can almost imagine it sizzling

 

[Ebeneezer Goode]

Put a toilet roll in the fridge the night before.

 

[Stevencc]

Then you run the risk of getting so pissed that you end up eating it.

 

[SALTIRE]

Had a sore one earlier tonight, wouldn't come out and then it had a sharp edge when it did!

Will probably be due another one soon, just had a mushroom strudel at this time of night - I know I'm going to regret it later on!

 

[Stevencc]

I dropped a 6 earlier. Too many beers lately.

 

[PaulHaddock]

Worst ones are the clingons that don't come off no matter how much shuffling.