Home remedies for ill people

[johnnytodd]

To stop a dry or tickley cough simply eat 3 tins of cold mushy peas......you wont cough again in case you shit yourself.

 

[The Iron]

Did you shit yourself anyway?

 

[JaseTheVillain]

Sex.

 

[Craig]

A nip of scotch cures anything according my aunts Polish dad. He lived through Nazi occupied Poland in WWII so I never questioned anything he said.

 

[Red]

Hiccups isn't really an illness, but drinking a teaspoon of vinegar will shift the fuckers immediately. FACHT!

 

[mnb089mnb]

A nice cup of tea and/or a poo.

 

[mowgli]

A large glass of cider brandy will cure most colds,or maybe it just seems that way when you're pissed.

 

[UTS]

Suicide cures most illnesses, although it has a rather unpleasant side effect

 

[sl1k]

Lemon juice in sparkling water. When warm it's really good for loosening chest congestion, soothing throat as well as other benefits.

 

[HertsWolf]

Lemsip dissolved in a litre of Bushmills, three times a day. Don't be tempted to overdo it with the Lemsip though. Not only does it sort out colds and flu, curiously it also creates a form of time travel.

 

[Aber gas]

Get off your arse, stop whinging and get on with it is a favourite remedy of my wife's ( she's a delicate flower)

 

[Christian Slater]

Gargle a drink with paracetamol in it. A Doctor told me that, it's one of these voodoo treatments you're all suggesting.

 

[mnb089mnb]

Bag of crisps and a wank.

 

[mowgli]

Bag of crisps and a wank.

With different hands i hope

 

[HertsWolf]

With different hands i hope

Come again?

 

[Dave-Vale]

2 ibuprofen, 2 paracetamol, a towel and the 'ill quilt'. This is what I do when I get my once yearly man flu.

 

[Stevencc]

Large saucepan full of just boiled water, dangle your face precariously close to it with a towel over your head.

Cures anything.

 

[T.A]

Hope you're using different holes.