Most unbelievable converstation you have had

[johnnytodd]

Mine was today, in the car with my lad who is 18. I pull over and then this happened.

Me: do us a favour jump out and get me a stamp from the post office in the co-op
Son: what do you want?
Me: A stamp a first class one here's a fiver to pay for it get your meal deal with the change
Son: don't know what you mean a stamp?
Me: a stamp you know you put on a letter
Son: wtf is a stamp, stop messing about ive got football at 2
Me: so you don't know what a stamp is? you put them on a letter and post the letter
Son: this is defo a wind up and i'm just getting the meal deal
Me: are you for real you have never heard of stamp?
Son who is getting angry: i've posted letters for me mum when I was little and they were brown
Me who is now pissing myself laughing: not a letter a stamp
Son: WHAT IS A FUCKING STAMP
me in tears : you lick it and put it in the corner
Son: what corner?
Me: the top right
Son: like in football?
Me: ohh ffs just get me starbar

anyone else got a story?

 

[Craig]

Unnamed participant #1: Any of you guys got any decent recent horror film recommendations apart from It Follows and the Babadook?
Me: Bone Tomahawk or The Witch
Unnamed participant #2: Bone Tomahawk aint horror is it?
Me: Yeah
Unnamed particpant #1: Nowt with cannibals, ta
Me: Might watch the Neon Demon later
Unnamed participant #2: Neon Demon definitely aint horror
Me: Not seen it but it's billed as horror
Unnamed participant #2: Horror has to have a supernatural element
Unnamed participant #1: Dunno about that #2, Texas Chainsaw, Psycho, Halloween etc..
Unnamed participant #2: Nah, they're thrillers
*silent moment*
Unnamed participant #2: I mean chillers
Me: Just watch VHS
Unnamed participant #2: The Spanish one?
Me: No that was Rec
Unnamed participant #1: Not seen VHS, any good?
Me: I like em
Unnamed participant #3: The Indonesian segment of the second one was good
Me: Aye

 

[lordofthepies]

i've got this weird feeling of deja vu

 

[blade1889]

I once had a conversation with a guy on a football forum about the earth being flat, that was a bit odd.

 

[KevinMcallister]

I was in Iowa recently, me and a few mates, and in walks 6 college cheerleaders, I started talking and naturally they all got hot at my leeds accent

me, yo babes come sit on my knee
them , ok
me, damn you's are hot
them giggles
me let's get drunk
them wanna come back to our place and fuck?
me blushes
them why can't you look us in the eye?
me i'm shy

pretty fucking unbelievable!

 

[Stevencc]

Me: Hey Lub, anything happening in your life at the moment?
Lub: Enough about me, how are you doing?

 

[Techno Natch]

A conversation with a friend and his girlfriend springs to mind during which time it became apparent they weren't using contraception. My mate had already had one child with another woman so we were surprised about this only for the girlfriend to quite seriously proclaim it was okay because they "squeeze it out"

That silenced the whole table and suffice to say they had a baby about a year after.

 

[Leo]

A conversation with a friend and his girlfriend springs to mind during which time it became apparent they weren't using contraception. My mate had already had one child with another woman so we were surprised about this only for the girlfriend to quite seriously proclaim it was okay because they "squeeze it out"

That silenced the whole table and suffice to say they had a baby about a year after.

A What The Fuck moment.....also a cue for the lad to get rid!

 

[Indian Dan]

Out with a mixed group of mates, one of which had a new girlfriend in tow.

To break the ice - poorly as it turned out - one fella said to her, off the cuff

'I hear you take it up the arse'

to which she turned to her new boyfriend apopletic and said

'You bastard, you said you wouldn't tell anyone'

 

[Leo]

Out with a mixed group of mates, one of which had a new girlfriend in tow.

To break the ice - poorly as it turned out - one fella said to her, off the cuff

'I hear you take it up the arse'

to which she turned to her new boyfriend apopletic and said

'You bastard, you said you wouldn't tell anyone'

....how to win friends & influence people.

 

[mowgli]

Out with a mixed group of mates, one of which had a new girlfriend in tow.

To break the ice - poorly as it turned out - one fella said to her, off the cuff

'I hear you take it up the arse'

to which she turned to her new boyfriend apopletic and said

'You bastard, you said you wouldn't tell anyone'

 

[D B Disco]

I once had a 2 hour conversation about weasel spit, This may mean something to anyone old enough to remember The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin......in one episode he drank a glass of wine and said that it tasted like weasel spit, leading to my friend and I questioning how he knew what weasel spit tasted like..and it went from there. Bizarre conversation but the funniest 2 hours of my life!