What is the worst job you have ever had?

[hbk4894]

got to be paperround with my mate when i was 13 because he didnt pay me.

 

[JJH]

got to be paperround with my mate when i was 13 because he didnt pay me.

Take him to court.

 

[Richard Cranium]

Smack him

 

[Veggie Legs]

The worst job I ever had was retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's bum.

 

[Aber gas]

The worst job I ever had was retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's bum.

This forum doesn't have enough Derek and Clive

 

[markwwfc1992]

Classic HBK

 

[JaseTheVillain]

 

[Blitzballer]

McDonalds was my first and worst job ever whilst I was at college. Only lasted 2 months before I told them to shove it.
My responsibility was assembling various burgers. Handling pickles all day. Floor covered in 1cm of grease, plus you get a free meal on your break, which I didn't take up on. Rather get out the place and get a baked spud.
You'd go home after scrubbing your hands, which still smell of pickles. Then into the shower, and yet you still smell like pickles. Fuck that shit

 

[The Cards]

Friday + Saturday nights at an insanely busy chippie, came out of that place sweating buckets every night. Was when i was 15/16 and got paid something like £3-4 an hour, can't remember.

Then again on the plus side I had a free haddock and chips every night

 

[Aber gas]

When I was 20 I had a job burning cattle and sheep in the aftermath of the foot and mouth outbreak. That was a bit grim.

 

[Craig]

Use it.

 

[Aber gas]

Use it.

For what ?

 

[Craig]

 

[Aber gas]

I see now

 

[Pliny Harris]

My summer work this year was pretty crap.

On one Sunday I got called into the office to be told where I was going on Monday morning. When I got there I was told I had to be in Glasgow the next morning for a 7:30am start, driving over from Halifax and picking someone up in Wakefield. I got home at 9pm that night having footed the petrol bill because they had told me the news so late on, had to get some food down me and pack for the week before setting off at 2am. Below living wage. That was my first experience of driving a transit van and my first manoeuvre on it was reversing uphill out of a parallel park, sweaty stuff. They would repeatedly stand you up on days of work once you'd arrived for it and refuse to pay you off.

Another day the building we were working in was having its thermal mass tested by sticking the underfloor heating on max and sealing up all doorways and windows, ie. manual labour at 40ºC. On the way back my supervisor saw a domed building and shouted "They've come over here too, fucking Pakis!" It was a CofE church. Also worked alongside a bloke who'd spent most of his life in prison from "guns, drugs, burglary and assault" apparently. He was convinced he was now on the straight and narrow and said he was giving back to the world by having as many kids as possible. His current partner was pregnant, a Vietnamese woman whose name he couldn't spell or pronounce, so he just called her Patel instead. Scary bloke, his idea of bonding was telling you of the times he tried fighting site staff and threatening to kill them, and how unfair they were to then ban him from working with them. I got through largely unscathed by pretending to be a blank slate of a human being. That company still owes me a few hundred quid in basic wages and won't pick up anymore.

 

[Aber gas]

My summer work this year was pretty crap.

On one Sunday I got called into the office to be told where I was going on Monday morning. When I got there I was told I had to be in Glasgow the next morning for a 7:30am start, driving over from Halifax and picking someone up in Wakefield. I got home at 9pm that night having footed the petrol bill because they had told me the news so late on, had to get some food down me and pack for the week before setting off at 2am. Below living wage. That was my first experience of driving a transit van and my first manoeuvre on it was reversing uphill out of a parallel park, sweaty stuff. They would repeatedly stand you up on days of work once you'd arrived for it and refuse to pay you off.

Another day the building we were working in was having its thermal mass tested by sticking the underfloor heating on max and sealing up all doorways and windows, ie. manual labour at 40ºC. On the way back my supervisor saw a domed building and shouted "They've come over here too, fucking Pakis!" It was a CofE church. Also worked alongside a bloke who'd spent most of his life in prison from "guns, drugs, burglary and assault" apparently. He was convinced he was now on the straight and narrow and said he was giving back to the world by having as many kids as possible. His current partner was pregnant, a Vietnamese woman whose name he couldn't spell or pronounce, so he just called her Patel instead. Scary bloke, his idea of bonding was telling you of the times he tried fighting site staff and threatening to kill them, and how unfair they were to then ban him from working with them. I got through largely unscathed by pretending to be a blank slate of a human being. That company still owes me a few hundred quid in basic wages and won't pick up anymore.

Yeah, but did you have to burn sheep?

 

[silkyman]

Worked 'front of house' at a golf club health club while temping for the summer back from Uni. 12 hour shift with one half hour break. Stood (not sat... Never sat) between the swimming pool heating system and the sunbeds, and drinks on the front desk were forbidden. Then dealing with clientele who were, pretty much exclusively thick as fuck trophy wives or old rich twats looking down their noses at you.

Then, later, I spent five months at a tiny publishing company selling ad space in magazines. A bunch of amateurs, there was one computer between five of us. In 2000. My first sale was a full page ad for a company who offered proof reading services and when the mag was published..... It was full of mistakes. Then that Christmas Eve (when we were working because the bosses, who were down south) we were well aware that something wasn't right after they had cancelled all holidays and expected us to be back in on the 27th, our boss told us that he'd just talked them down from sacking us all. On Christmas Eve. With no pay. The four of us in the office started looking for new jobs and brought the company down in two more months.

And finally, a client I worked for for several years who ended up defunct and owing me almost £10k. That was good.

 

[Pliny Harris]

Yeah, but did you have to burn sheep?

2001 was a long year in that regard, so many places being out of bounds from farmland I played in with mates, to the petting zoo at Camelot theme park. Growing up in a household with a few dozen hens and ducks gave agricultural disease scares this unique kind of fear as a child. Hard life in the country and that. Like the threat of bird flu and having to slaughter all our pets, never fancied that idea. I don't remember any farm animals being incinerated at a time, but you keep that sorta stuff away from primary school kids.

 

[mowgli]

Washer up in a kitchen which i did for 6 months until a better job turned up,my god that was bloody dull and hot!

 

[blade1889]

This one time I decided to move to work in a country whose language I couldn't speak. Yeah that was pretty tough stupid.

 

[eightiesrobin]

If we're talking McJobs, it would be the four nights (or was it three?) I spent kitchen portering at a hotel Christmas 1989. Scrubbing pans in lukewarm water without detergent, or loading and emptying the dishwasher of plates at around 3000 degrees Fahrenheit. The conditions didn't do your teenage acne any good.

If we're talking real jobs, it was probably working at a medium secure mental health unit. Ten weeks I lasted, was let go the day after someone tried to chin me.

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

http://dearphoneii.tumblr.com/

Paid 6p per message. Customers either lunatic degenerates or the helplessly mentally ill or both. Folks think it must have been funny (and from a certain distance it was, I guess) but wading through a sewer of idiot carnality, recherché desires and exploited sad cases for 8 hours a day (and getting tuppence for it) was dispiriting in the extreme.

Went to log in for my shift one day and the company had gone kaput overnight with no notice. Salad days.

 

[eightiesrobin]

I'll never watch Babestation the same way again....

 

[Pliny Harris]

Good Lord.

 

[Bobbin']

Joseph Désiré, he was fucking shit.

 

[silkyman]

Like a Mango...

Like.

A.

Mango.

 

[silkyman]