1FF Film Club - RACISM

[Craig]

We didn't get much of a response for this one. Only nine nominations in total, and that's only because I'm including Braveheart and a couple of double nominations. This will be the last one for a bit I reckon. We'll see if we can drum up some interest again after the Euros.

 

[Craig]

Deadline of midnight Wednesday for votes on this one.

 

[SALTIRE]

Braveheart with two votes - I honestly didn't vote for it either!!

 

[Craig]

I was wondering how Martino managed to vote for four selections until I realised it was a parody account.

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

this is england would be a really uninspired winner

 

[Gilly?]

La Haine, what a film that is.

 

[SALTIRE]

What happens if its a tie, do we watch both?

 

[Craig]

Tiebreaker then. La Haine or Romper Stomper?

Choice in bold please and you have until midnight Friday.

Romper Stomper

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

La Haine

 

[SALTIRE]

La Haine

 

[ZianfrancoGoal]

Romper Stomper

 

[Craig]

Deadline at midnight.

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

la haine

 

[Craig]

No Ian.

Next selection to be posted (by someone who hasn't already selected) will be our film.

 

[Craig]

Braveheart

 

[Craig]

Enjoy.

 

[SALTIRE]

Fair enough, I'll be checking for my ancestors then who were at Bannockburn in it, get the kilt on, set up the whisky, wrap my Saltire around me and curse and spit at the English in this (though not at you lot - much... ). Braveheart it is!!

 

[Craig]

Scotland 1995. A country on its arse socially, politically and culturally. Scottish national identity at an all time low, Scotland failed to qualify for World Cup 94 and Scott's Porage Oats weren't selling anything like they used to. Step into the fray Mel Gibson, proud son of Scotland, fearless military leader, a true Braveheart, some might say.

Mel brought to the proud country of Scotland the film it needed. An utter bastardistion of history tinged with homophobic and xenophobic themes (great choice C&B).

We open with the betrayal of our noble and honourable Scottish heroes. Lured to a meeting of truce under false pretence then double crossed by the English bastards, a young Braveheart losing his father and older brother in the process. He is then taken away by his uncle Argyll (a proper Scottish name for a proper Scottish warrior) on a pilgrimage of Europe where he becomes highly educated before returning to his backward glen a changed man. He craves a peaceful life, but the English bastards won't allow it. They rape newly wed brides and disrespect the tossing of the caber, but our Braveheart tries to ignore it. He does well until the English bastards decide to embark on a personal vendetta against his quest for a peaceful existence and murder his wife in public. But these English bastards fucked with the wrong Australian-American they did, and thus begins his revolt.

We are then subjected to a wonderful montage of the Braveheart and his band of merry men waging their guerilla war on the English bastards until a confrontation at the battle of Stirling bridge (minus the actual river and bridge). An outnumbered army of Scottish football hooligans proceed to smash the fuck out of the bastard English in a pitched battle after the Braveheart has the gall to insult the English bastards under a flag of truce. After their victory they invade England and sack York killing lots of bastard Englishmen along the way. The Braveheart meets with the French bride of the weakling gay heir to the English throne and seduces her with his Scottish manliness planting his seed.

After the battle of Stirling bridge I kind of lose interest to be honest. Robert the Bruce betrays the Braveheart and he ends up a prisoner of the English and is hung, drawn and quartered but doesn't lose his patriotic will while being butchered and a final shout of 'FREEDOM!!' is the concluding spit in the eye of the bastard English and then Robert the Bruce wins at Bannockburn and the rest is history.

10/10

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

he ends up a prisoner of the English and is hung

oh, is he

 

[SALTIRE]

oh, is he

Wearing kilts and letting it swing freely makes it grow, don't you know...

 

[Craig]

The English cut it off and burnt it during the Braveheart's execution.

 

[SALTIRE]

The English cut it off and burnt it during the Braveheart's execution.

They may have cut his tadger, but they never took his spirit nor our FREEDOM!!

 

[Benito]

Made in Britain.

 

[SALTIRE]

Made in Britain.

I have never seen that. I used to have an er 'adult' VHS tape that I was given from a mate, that had that film on at the start for five mins, before the 'show' started.

Might check out Made In Britain one of these days though, as I do like those types of films from that period.