Crap that people shout at football

[shoddycollins]

People who chant "Your support is fucking shit" at opposition fans.

Stop being shit and we'll stop singing it.

I personally hate the chants that really seem to tempt fate, like when we're 1-0 up and our fans start singing about promotion, or that the opposition are shit. Save the shit chants for 3-0 at least.

 

[The_Boss]

I'm bored silly by the ooooOOOOHHHHH you're shit aaargghh every time a keeper kicks it out.

Please stop.

Casey

It changed at our place a few years ago to total silence until just as he kicks it, with a big shout of "TWAT"!!!

Oh the laughs we have.

 

[The_Viking_Magpie]

“He’s going to cry in a minute” is still the best keeper related bantz I’ve heard from an away end after a mistake.

He looked close to it too#rattled

 

[ThisTinpotLeague]

People who shout "shoot" every time a player is within 50 yards of goal are annoying..

This is a great way to spot someone who never bothered to play football even in a pub team. Player can be facing sideways, not have the ball under control and be falling over his feet whilst still expected to bang it in.

At an away game last year I sat behind a drunk man who alternated between "you fucking wankers" and "come onnnnn" every minute or so for the full 90 and it honestly killed my love for football and Oxford and is the main reason my posts are so shit.

 

[PaulHaddock]

“(Insert club)’s a shithole, I wanna go home”

Most teams in this league are from shitholes, and the chant is so over-used that it’s lost all meaning.

 

[The_Viking_Magpie]

Agree, was great originally. And loved Spurs’ version in Madrid

But now long overdone

 

[BlackHaddock]

Getting stuffed at Port Vale a few seasons ago. I was really pissed off, stood up and started singing/shouting " I'm supposed to be at home".

 

[Greenacres]

“(Insert club)’s a shithole, I wanna go home”

Most teams in this league are from shitholes, and the chant is so over-used that it’s lost all meaning.

Agreed, I hate that chant too...although I am still waiting to hear someone sing it at our place...mind you if they sang "I hate sheep and llamas, I wanna go home" that might be a bit more accurate. Apparently there used to be cows in the field opposite the ground but some of them suffered with altitude sickness and they had to send them back down to the bottom of the valley.

 

[GTFCfish]

Away at West Ham in the FA Cup in the 90's my Dads mate took a big banner with 'Free Arfur Fowler' on it and we all started chanting it, I remember the West Ham fans in their side stand laughing at it and applauding. (Arthur Fowler was in prison in Eastenders at the time)

 

[dedwardp]

One bloke sits behind me and spends most of the game on the verge of a heart attack, but one of his annoying ones is screaming "Eeeyorrree, don't quit your day job!" really slowly every time the opposition balls something up. Worse still was when a child came with him a few times and spent the entire game shouting the same shit more relentlessly in a squeaky voice.

 

[gijsbert_bos]

At Barnet away last year I was stood in front of a bloke who just shouted "use it!" every time one of our players got the ball. Bloody irritating. Literally he only thing he said all game.

 

[shoddycollins]

Seems to have stopped now, but for a good few seasons our fans behind the goal we were attacking would spend most of the half singing over and over 'she's a whore, she's a whore [Goalkeeeper's Name]'s mother is a whore'.

Against Gillingham last season I decided to change things up a bit and stand in the Paddock. There was a cockney guy standing somewhere near me, who kept just announcing whatever was happening on the pitch like an East End market trader.

For example, a substitution was made, number 10 was coming on, number 5 was coming off (can't remember the actual numbers) and this guy would loudly bellow 'Ten fer fiiiiiive, ten fer five, ten fer fiiiiive'.

 

[GTFCfish]

At Barnet away last year I was stood in front of a bloke who just shouted "use it!" every time one of our players got the ball. Bloody irritating. Literally he only thing he said all game.

Apparently the Barnet steward stood nearest to him is sueing him as he was scared for his safety with all that shouting going on.

 

[Laker]

Fellow Habbinites will know what I mean when I just say Seamus.

He was at his peak in our non-league days with Jon Challinor regularly on our side of the pitch. He had many catchphrases (most refs proved themselves cheats at some stage) but the cries of "Challenger" have crept into our banter even though both have been absent for a few seasons.

One game at home he was magic. We were attacking the NRE in the first half unusually so our left back Tonkin was on our side. It must have been Brabin in charge and we weee basically camped in the opposition’s half but couldn’t score.

Cue Seamus: “Forward Tonkin”, “Head Tonkin”, “Long Tonkin”, “Get stuck in Tonkin”, “Back Tonkin”. It was like this for 45 minutes. At one point, Tonkin hit a free kick long into the box from about the half way line and Seamus was on at him to get on to the end of it. I was almost crying with laughter.

In the second half, first minute he shouts “Forward Gleason” and someone told him to shut the f*ck up.

There was a guy behind me this and last season who was on Derry’s case before a ball had barely been kicked. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t his biggest fan but I would give the side a chance first.

There’s also an Italian guy (I think he’s Italian) who often shouts things like “asshole!” at any opponent who gives away a foul. He’s quite a character and I quite like the abuse he levels at various players.

 

[GTFCfish]

I've heard that at Sincil Bank there's a guy who spends the whole game shouting 'lump it up to the fat lad' every time one of the Lincoln defenders has the ball.

The guys name is Danny Cowley.

 

[PaulHaddock]

One game at home he was magic. We were attacking the NRE in the first half unusually so our left back Tonkin was on our side. It must have been Brabin in charge and we weee basically camped in the opposition’s half but couldn’t score.

Cue Seamus: “Forward Tonkin”, “Head Tonkin”, “Long Tonkin”, “Get stuck in Tonkin”, “Back Tonkin”. It was like this for 45 minutes. At one point, Tonkin hit a free kick long into the box from about the half way line and Seamus was on at him to get on to the end of it. I was almost crying with laughter.

In the second half, first minute he shouts “Forward Gleason” and someone told him to shut the f*ck up.

There was a guy behind me this and last season who was on Derry’s case before a ball had barely been kicked. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t his biggest fan but I would give the side a chance first.

There’s also an Italian guy (I think he’s Italian) who often shouts things like “asshole!” at any opponent who gives away a foul. He’s quite a character and I quite like the abuse he levels at various players.

He’s just a massive fan of Cheltenham’s ex-player Asa Hall.

 

[Plumbob]

I've heard that at Sincil Bank there's a guy who spends the whole game shouting 'lump it up to the fat lad' every time one of the Lincoln defenders has the ball.

The guys name is Danny Cowley.

If it ain't broke

 

[Greenacres]

There is a bloke near me who shouts "out, out, out" really loudly every time the opposition have the ball in our box...he comes to games with his young grandson, I have real worries that this might be harming the lad and he might end up suffering from PTSD

 

[Deepcut Cobbler]

One bloke sits behind me and spends most of the game on the verge of a heart attack, but one of his annoying ones is screaming "Eeeyorrree, don't quit your day job!" really slowly every time the opposition balls something up. Worse still was when a child came with him a few times and spent the entire game shouting the same shit more relentlessly in a squeaky voice.

The two long haired double denim guys who used to stand at the front of the Layer Road end years ago used to just shout at any players that came near them, no one ever knew what they were saying...

 

[Tranmerewhite]

Fans of clubs like Leeds doing the “you’re sh*t ahh” at opposition keepers after goal kicks.

In terms of individual fans. There’s a bloke that shouts “make a change Mellon” if it’s after the 50th minute and we aren’t winning by at least 8 goals; the only game I didn’t hear it was our 9-0 win over Solihull.

 

[The Jovial Forester]

...the only game I didn’t hear it was our 9-0 win over Solihull.

Should have shouted "Makes a change" at him. /badum tish

 

[Casey]

Best one I've heard was directed at Wimbledon's keeper, Seb Brown, after he dropped a clanger.

Brown is shit; shit is Brown.

Oops, sorry wrong thread.

Casey

 

[les.gtfc]

Now I'm not sure if I'm imagining this but I'm sure that I heard a story that years ago there was a West Ham fan giving a certain player a load of shit in a pre-season friendly.

Harry Redknapp was West Ham manager at the time and this bloke was in his ear all game "so and so's shit, get him off 'Arry, I could do better than him" So Redknapp turned round to him and told him to go get kitted up as he was going to bring him on as a sub for the last 10 minutes.

Sure enough he brought this bloke on and he ended up scoring a goal.

Anyone else remember something like this or have I just imagined it all?

 

[Tranmerewhite]

Should have shouted "Makes a change" at him. /badum tish

Well the following game was the one you beat us 1-0 despite our 30 shots

 

[UTS]

The one that gets to me is , the simple but almost always inappropriately mistimed ‘Get Out’ shouted by many for the Notts defence and midfield to push up.

This is shouted when we have desperately cleared it straight to one of their defenders, yet the shout still happens. Even though that would be defensive suicide to push out and leave space behind.

Drives me nuts, there is a time and a place (a situation) when you turn the opposition, play it beyond and behind. It isn’t suitable every time you clear a ball from deep.

A guy near me shouts almost every game “(insert opposition managers name) you’ve got a bunch of animals here” even though Notts are or nearly as physical as anyone at this level. The worst part for me is when he does his other 90s classic about visiting specsavers’ the people around it chuckle and lap it up . Only encouraging him more, I’m blame them fully!

So many are so biased in the Main stand at Notts , that I regularly have to say out loud “it’s a foul” when we commit one and everyone moans.

Inappropriately mistimed? Surely the same as appropriately timed?

There’s a lot of moaners at Bury, naturally, given our speciality is being shite and bottling big games.

One man in the south stand shouts ‘First rule of defending, don’t let it bounce’ quite a lot, no idea who it is.

We also have fans that will still be ranting about a decision from the referee even though the foul was minor and subsequent free kick was taken 30 seconds ago. There’s a wall of grumbling with the odd ‘What game are you watching referee/Were not here to see you referee, you pillock’ thrown in. They also like to shout ‘liner’ instead of linesman.

 

[UTS]

Now I'm not sure if I'm imagining this but I'm sure that I heard a story that years ago there was a West Ham fan giving a certain player a load of shit in a pre-season friendly.

Harry Redknapp was West Ham manager at the time and this bloke was in his ear all game "so and so's shit, get him off 'Arry, I could do better than him" So Redknapp turned round to him and told him to go get kitted up as he was going to bring him on as a sub for the last 10 minutes.

Sure enough he brought this bloke on and he ended up scoring a goal.

Anyone else remember something like this or have I just imagined it all?

110% never happened.

 

[Tarzan]

There's a bloke who stands on our big bank who provides an unwanted running commentary to anyone within earshot. He has a number of stock phrases that he shouts out, my favourite being, whenever the opposition cross a ball into our box, "big 'eads".

 

[dedwardp]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2013/sep/05/harry-redknapp-played-fan-west-ham

 

[les.gtfc]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2013/sep/05/harry-redknapp-played-fan-west-ham

Great find that Dedward. He played more than the last 10 minutes too.

I wasn't imagining it then. Can't remember where and when I heard about it though.

 

[The Jovial Forester]

Well the following game was the one you beat us 1-0 despite our 30 shots

I was there! Thoroughly deserved I felt