Play God for the day

[PuB]

(Or as long as you like, I don't really care).

Which animals would you make extinct immediately?

Top of my list would be the comodo dragon, horrible things that bite their prey and then follow it around for days waiting for infection to take hold. Grubby wasters.

In fact I don't care much for any reptilian thing so they can all fuck off immediately.

Then I'd probably say anything in the sea capable of luminescence, I mean fucking hell they're weird and not only that but down right fugly.

Next up would be pandas. Literally have had millions and millions of pounds thrown at them to keep them alive, but they won't fucking have sex. Off you go now pandas, we've tried our best but it turns out you're shit. We can turn our attention to something more rare, like Fulham fans perhaps.

Anyway, what else have we all had enough of?

 

[Habbinalan]

(Or as long as you like, I don't really care).

Which animals would you make extinct immediately?

Top of my list would be the comodo dragon, horrible things that bite their prey and then follow it around for days waiting for infection to take hold. Grubby wasters.

In fact I don't care much for any reptilian thing so they can all fuck off immediately.

Then I'd probably say anything in the sea capable of luminescence, I mean fucking hell they're weird and not only that but down right fugly.

Next up would be pandas. Literally have had millions and millions of pounds thrown at them to keep them alive, but they won't fucking have sex. Off you go now pandas, we've tried our best but it turns out you're shit. We can turn our attention to something more rare, like Fulham fans perhaps.

Anyway, what else have we all had enough of?

Based on the above and occasional ventures off the A2, the population of Kent??

I'm sure I could have lived without Alan Knott and the Cowdrey family so I'll probably just miss Keith.

 

[PuB]

You cannot have the population of Kent, we are not an individual species

As much as that would be fantastic.

 

[Habbinalan]

You cannot have the population of Kent, we are not an individual species

As much as that would be fantastic.

OK, I'll take the Men of Kent, saving the sub-species Kentish Men. I'm not sure how that works for the Stones and Led Zeppelin but I presume it preserves the likes of Princess Sophie and Brenda Blethyn.

You're not saying that Farage and Pete Tong are capable of interbreeding outside the remaining dregs of the Cantiaci are you? I'd keep the Komodo Dragon over them any day.

 

[PuB]

I would like you to remain on topic and kill a species off.

Thanks PuB, (mod).

 

[Habbinalan]

Nope. I'm all for diversity - so, for me, even the following serves a purpose.

 

[Benji]

Rugby fans

 

[PuB]

Rugby fans

Not a species you muggy mugface

 

[Benji]

Well they certainly don't look human.

 

[PuB]

KILL SOME ANIMALS YOU FUCKER

 

[Benji]

Spiders definitely, and probably most things with more than 4 legs. It's too many legs.

 

[Indian Dan]

Racer snakes

 

[PuB]

Racer snakes

Consigned to the dustbin of life, thankfully.

 

[The Paranoid Pineapple]

I don't really wish to kill off any animals but if you were pointing a gun at my head (I hope you wouldn't do this, pub) I'd start with the irritants, which basically comprise flies, mosquitoes and wasps. I saw an article recently which was trying to sell the idea of wasps being unfairly maligned. Didn't read the propaganda piece because anything that intent on destroying the al fresco dining dream is clearly an odious fucker.

 

[PuB]

Wasps are only allowed to disappear if you include bees I'm afraid, which would be completely unacceptable

 

[Johnnyt]

Rats (No offence Saltire)

 

[JJ1532]

Mosquitos. They literally serve no purpose other than to spread disease. They can fuck off.

Any other parasitic organism or creature can also die.

 

[Stevencc]

Scousers.

 

[Leo]

Wasps are only allowed to disappear if you include bees I'm afraid, which would be completely unacceptable

Surely....surelyyyy, Bees could be awarded immunity. Having been granted this condition....the destruction of wasp c*nts could be undertaken!

 

[Redpelt]

Scousers.

Is this because of the' God given' dexterity they have with their fists ? Or because Manc birds really love them ?

 

[Redpelt]

The Anteater,ridiculous looking mammal who walks around in what seems like a state of perpetual embarrassment ,25 million years on the planet and they've failed to deliver anything remotely profound, I mean ,all that time ambling around the earth and they still dont know how to crack a fucking smile.

 

[T.A]

Anyone between 10-16 years of age.

 

[UTS]

Jellyfish are pretty bloody pointless. They don’t do anything, they are apparently almost inedible. They also kill perfectly edible fish with their tentacles.

If Jellyfish became extinct, would the world be any worse off?

 

[Stevencc]

Is this because of the' God given' dexterity they have with their fists ? Or because Manc birds really love them ?

It's just Liverpool fans, mate - I feel bad for the Everton fans being wiped out along with you but sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good.

 

[PuB]

Jellyfish are pretty bloody pointless. They don’t do anything, they are apparently almost inedible. They also kill perfectly edible fish with their tentacles.

If Jellyfish became extinct, would the world be any worse off?

Jellyfish are gone. Seethrough slimey weird looking fucks that just float around like a discarded plastic bag.

Get in the creature bin.

 

[Fompous Part]

Pandas don't deserve our help. I don't wish to forcefully remove them them from the planet. I'm not suggesting a panda holocaust. But, seriously, why are we trying so hard to prevent their inevitable extinction?

We spend millions on captive breeding programmes trying to help these slobs repopulate their species, and most of the time they don't even meet us halfway. They just mooch about, slowly digesting the truckload of bamboo they've eaten that day (another reason to dislike them: they're fussy eaters) and showing no interest in sex whatsoever.

If they weren't cute – if their appearance was closer to that of the duck-billed platypus or the giant salamander – we wouldn't have concerned ourselves one bit with their survival. We'd have just left them to it and shrugged our shoulders when they (inevitably) died out as a result of their own inertia and general uselessness.

 

[Fompous Part]

Just realised that the original poster has already marked pandas for extermination, so I'll give my second choice: the ostrich.

A bird that cannot fly. Pointless. Get rid.

 

[Habbinalan]

Jellyfish are gone. Seethrough slimey weird looking fucks that just float around like a discarded plastic bag.

Get in the creature bin.

You are also consigning Sea Turtles to extinction as jellyfish are just about all they eat.

Then there's the potential solution to world starvation -

A young woman exclaims it's "surprisingly nice" while a Taiwanese lady tells me jellyfish is a common antipasto back home and she was curious to see what the Italians would do with it. The man beside me is unimpressed. "The batter's nice but the jellyfish tastes of nothing and it's slippery," he grumbles. I ask a three-year-old what she thinks. "Yummy or yucky?" "Yummy!" she grins at me, chewing happily. She was probably hungry too.

A curious crowd tries the jellyfish tempura (medusa fritta, in Italian)
Marco Visciola has also made a boiled jellyfish salad with rice vinegar, sesame oil, carrot and cucumber - a traditional recipe a Japanese colleague gave him. Again I'm impressed, although I think jellyfish's neutral taste - or lack of taste - could lend itself to any decisive flavours.

But Marco's sold. "For me, it was a new experience and there were a lot of curious people," he enthuses, adding that he now plans to put locally caught jellyfish on his restaurant's summer menu. "It's a novelty a chef can offers diners. I think it will become popular."

 

[Habbinalan]

Mosquitos. They literally serve no purpose other than to spread disease. They can fuck off.

Any other parasitic organism or creature can also die.

Well they are a major food source for dragonflies, all sorts of fish that we like eating (trout and salmon) and birds as varied as swifts/swallows and young ducks/geese.

I do hat the fuckers though. I'm always pleased to see a gecko or two in my hotel room when I'm on my travels

 

[PuB]

Sea turtles can stay, they'll just have to diversify their eating habits.

Crane flies on the other hand can fuck the fuck right off, barely capable of flight for something which principally just flys around a bit. Apparently has enough venom to kill a human, but God didn't trust them so took away their ability to bite. Do the right thing God, kill them off and admit you made a mistake.