The Battle of the Team Who's Name You Can Use Some of the Letters to Spell Rape vs the Team...

[Son of Cod]

...Managed by the Guy Who You Can Use Some of the Letters of His Name to Spell Seed with AKA THE RAPESEED DERBY AKA PORT VALE VS GRIMSBY.

When Port Vale got talking about a new manager there was only ever one man on their lips. They were talking about some guy who is warm, a guy where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. They were talking about a little man called Assssspin.

A quick Google images search to remind myself who Neil Aspin is reveals that we have collected another bald ugly manager here in L2, however more alarmingly I also discovered that as a player Aspin had not one but two of the bushiest blonde eyebrows I have ever seen.

With his dark eyes, little bit of brown at the base of his hair behind his ears and sunburnt skin, upon squinting you would be forgiven if you thought that you were staring at the face of a man who had smothered his head with a block of Neapolitan ice cream.

Having Googled the important bits, I'll recount his managerial achievements off the top of my head. Took Halifax up to the Conference and got them to the playoffs. Got Halifax relegated and jumped ship to Gateshead. Did absolutely nothing with Gateshead. Got the Port Vale job.

In terms of the match, we are pretty bad but fortunately for us Port Vale are even worse so we might be able to win this one.

 

[lordofthepies]

, however more alarmingly I also discovered that as a player Aspin had not one but two of the bushiest blonde eyebrows I have ever seen.

He was also a right dirty twat.

 

[valefan16]

A difference three days makes after slitting our wrists after Saturday the club is bouncing again with the return of club legend Neil Aspin and managerial god John Rudge who gave us 16 glorious years in the late 80s and through the 90's, Aspin's assistant to be announced.

I described going the Vale recently as being like going to a funeral, didn't really want to be there but felt you had too, Saturday should be the opposite with a large home crowd expected to welcome back two legends of the club.

One of Aspo's stand out moments was against... Grimsby... tackling Clive Mendonca before waltzing through half the team to score one of his few goals for the club so ironic his first game will be against them...

Last nights win should at least boost confidence and question marks over the teams desire to play for Morgan, Kelly and Brown should be answered. We need to start the winning soon and these next two home games against sides in the bottom half give us a chance to get started in the new era.

A win to keep the positive vibes going would be massive... I have a feeling we will get it too. 2-1 Vale. JJ Blooper is bound to score isn't he. Tyrone Barnett and Dan Turner to win us the game and start the recovery.

 

[valefan16]

He was also a right dirty twat.

His philosophy was either the ball or the man can get past me... but not both.

 

[valefan16]

...Managed by the Guy Who You Can Use Some of the Letters of His Name to Spell Seed with AKA THE RAPESEED DERBY AKA PORT VALE VS GRIMSBY.

When Port Vale got talking about a new manager there was only ever one man on their lips. They were talking about some guy who is warm, a guy where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. They were talking about a little man called Assssspin.

A quick Google images search to remind myself who Neil Aspin is reveals that we have collected another bald ugly manager here in L2, however more alarmingly I also discovered that as a player Aspin had not one but two of the bushiest blonde eyebrows I have ever seen.

With his dark eyes, little bit of brown at the base of his hair behind his ears and sunburnt skin, upon squinting you would be forgiven if you thought that you were staring at the face of a man who had smothered his head with a block of Neapolitan ice cream.

Having Googled the important bits, I'll recount his managerial achievements off the top of my head. Took Halifax up to the Conference and got them to the playoffs. Got Halifax relegated and jumped ship to Gateshead. Did absolutely nothing with Gateshead. Got the Port Vale job.

In terms of the match, we are pretty bad but fortunately for us Port Vale are even worse so we might be able to win this one.

He has a win record of around 48% over 12 years... kept Gateshead punching above their own weight and discovered Jamie Vardy...

He'd lost that hair by the time we had him!

 

[Son of Cod]

Gateshead had a healthy budget for Conference and had got to the playoffs not long before he got there, so I wouldn't necessarily say he had them punching above their weight. He pretty much did what was to be expected.

Don't remember that goal you are talking about either, you must be making it up. Pretty sure that Sir Clive Mendonca was never tackled in a Grimsby shirt.

 

[valefan16]

 

[Son of Cod]

We play in black and white stripes mate, that must have been when he went to Charlton or something...

 

[Gladders]

If that's his stand moment, then he hasn't had many moments has he?

Agree with his record too, apart from getting Halifax to the conference play offs then getting sacked he hasn't exactly done a lot.

Still it won't be hard to beat us on Saturday.

 

[Vanni]

Frealaf, what do you make of the title of this thread?

 

[valefan16]

If that's his stand moment, then he hasn't had many moments has he?

Agree with his record too, apart from getting Halifax to the conference play offs then getting sacked he hasn't exactly done a lot.

Still it won't be hard to beat us on Saturday.

He was a centre half so wasn’t in the goals. One of the greatest defenders this club has had.

In terms of his appointment, there wasn’t realistically much better options. Westley? No ta. Ince??

Aspo has learnt his trade over 12 years, won over half his games at Halifax and done steadily with Gateshead... we need someone steady.

Alongside the legendary John Rudge they have improved things just by walking through the door.

From less than 4000 fans last home game with a dead atmosphere the place will be rocking and a broken club has now come together at last. The off field positivity will hopefully rub off on the players. We’ve led four of the last five games but won one so hopefully if we get the lead the fans will be buzzing and push us on.

You could argue the Rudge appointment which is massive for us will be as crucial as Aspo.

From dreading Saturdays the fan base now can’t wait for this Saturday. Over to the lads to perform now.

 

[Randolph Haggerty]

Despite almost wetting myself at the thought of aspo and rudge back at the vale, it's still tempered by the fact that we really aren't very good.
He's only got a couple of days with them, we can't expect too much.
Also, traditionally, and bar a few notable exceptions a large home crowd usually means defeat.
How are Kelly and that useless, lazy lump of shite hooper doing?
I quite liked Kelly, he defo had something, just not very often.

 

[GTFCfish]

Reading through the Vale fans comments if I didn't know who they'd appointed as manager then I'd think it was someone like Mourinho or Guardiola the way they are fucking creaming themselves.

 

[valefan16]

Reading through the Vale fans comments if I didn't know who they'd appointed as manager then I'd think it was someone like Mourinho or Guardiola the way they are fucking creaming themselves.

To us Rudge is what those two are to their clubs, he’s what Clough was to Forest.

We haven’t employed an actual manager with any English experience since Micky Adams! Rob Page, Bruno Ribeiro and Michael Brown with Chris Morgan last week. So after being dealt those hands that’s seen the club slide from a top half league one outfit to the shit we’ve endured the last 14 months plus this is a rare glimmer of hope.

Aspo and Rudge at least gives us our identity as a club back, people who we know will give everything for the club. As I say the club was dying a slow painful death, fans had given up and most not attending. This changes that at least.

 

[Gladders]

Frealaf, what do you make of the title of this thread?

Fucking shit, but at least some effort went into it

 

[Son of Cod]

Fucking shit, but at least some effort went into it

It's supposed to be shit, by the way. I am going to outwack the wacky thread titles.

 

[valefan16]

It's supposed to be shit, by the way. I am going to outwack the wacky thread titles.

Most fans won’t have a clue which match this is about to comment to be honest!

 

[GTFCfish]

Most fans won’t have a clue which match this is about to comment to be honest!

I don't think they'd be interested in it even if they did know who it was about to be honest.

 

[IanPVFC]

The legends are back, everyone will flock back to Vale Park to witness the resurrection, and it'll take 10 minutes to remember we are actually shite and doomed to spend all season near the bottom.

 

[leedsvaliant]

As others have said, a steady appointment, although he does not get massively glowing references from other clubs. Our biggest issue has been a disenchanted playing staff alongside disenchanted fans, so hopefully this should pull everyone together. We could have gone for more experienced failures, as let's face it we are hardly a draw for the world's elite managers, but we've brought two people in who know the club and what it means better than most.

The big issue is that we are actually shite and I'm not sure whether any manager can rectify that. We've just got to hope we can get organised, shut out the opposition and hope to nick a goal. Will January be too late for reinforcements and will anyone actually want to come to us?

As for Grimsby, they've been a real mixed bag this season so god only knows what they will be like. I guess we need to hope that they don't turn up and the feel good factor gives everyone a boost. We need to get Turner on with either Barnett or Pope as they don't work together. We need to get Kay out of the team too.

 

[PaulHaddock]

Aspin’s career has been overinflated by Vardy and Gregory (though he did sign them tbf).

That wacky thread title will show those Carlisle fans who’s boss.

Kelly isn’t very good. Whilst Hooper doesn’t put that much effort in to win headers, when the ball is played to feet or over the top, he’s pretty good and already has a couple of goals. He may start on Saturday but Kelly won’t.

 

[valefan16]

Whilst a fair amount of shite is in the squad the overall squad isn't as shite as our league position so is something to work with. We need to get confidence sorted and if rumours that they weren't playing for the management are true hopefully now we will see better performance levels for a start. The more local lads should be absolutely buzzing to play for a manager and player they'd have idolised as a kid i.e. Pope and Yates.

The issue we've had in most games is a complete lack of organisation, 3 or 4 changes from game to game and players out of position so as long as Aspin at least sorts that out which is basic stuff then we should see results improve, anyone saying this is a gamble didn't have to live through the Brown era!

JJ has talent but an attitude problem, considering he was picked up from Havant he never really made an effort to ensure he stayed in the EFL and his bottle job coming off with a minor niggle on the final day at Fleetwood early on will be more remembered than what he did with us.

Kelly was an odd one. Massively lightweight but in his first season pretty much had the goal of the season competition to himself! Stunner against Coventry, waltzing through Chesterfield and Bury to score being a couple of his few goals but didn't offer anything else. His career at Vale Park ended when in the dying minutes of a game last season (think we were losing it) he inexplicably blasted the ball into the Lorne Street rather than run down the flank and cross it.

 

[IanPVFC]

His career at Vale Park ended when in the dying minutes of a game last season (think we were losing it) he inexplicably blasted the ball into the Lorne Street rather than run down the flank and cross it.

I'll never forget that, there wasn't a player within 5 yards of him. It was a proper Peter Kay "av it" moment.

 

[Randolph Haggerty]

Are there likely to be many making the trip from cleethorpes?

 

[GTFCfish]

I reckon anywhere between 300 - 500.

 

[Randolph Haggerty]

I am actually genuinely excited about going the vale tomorrow, I'm sure though that by the twelfth minute both the crowd and Grimsby will realise how bad we are, and the excitement will fade, with an away goal.
Heart 2 nil vale att 6700
Head 0-1 5800

 

[GTFCfish]

If Vale fans think they are having it bad at the minute it could be worse, last time we played each other Serge Makofo got the winner against you, easily in the top 10 worst players we've ever had and as I'm sure no-one needs telling, we've had some proper shite.

 

[PaulHaddock]

Tbh, I think it’s two poor teams that’ll turn up tomorrow. Vale will either be buoyed by the new man and win or we’ll realise that we’re playing the team third from bottom and we’ll win fairly comfortably, though we haven’t done that all season.

 

[valefan16]

It depends a lot on which sort of Vale turn up. Since Brown left we put in a very good performance at Yeovil and should of cruised to victory until a keeper howler gifted them a point and at home to Accrington we should of been 3 up before they even had a shot so if we put that level in then we’ve a good chance.

However last week against Stevenage was apparently as dire as it’s ever been, could be because of not wanting to play for Ned and Morgan who knows but appeared to lack interest and effort which enraged the support.

In terms of that loss in the cup didn’t go the replay but the home game was dire! We actually had an alright side then and at the time Grimsby were non league so didn’t go down well. Sure we had to wear Grimsbys kit too as our Grey kit was too much of a clash.

 

[Dan Phillips]

That FA Cup replay was horrendous.

Rob Taylor playing up front as a striker. Truly remarkable.