Worst ever players at your club??

[gijsbert_bos]

Tilson signed some horrors too. Jean-François Christophe, for example.

Elliott Parish perhaps wasn't a bad player but was just far too young and inexperienced for a relegation battle in the basement division. Also culpable in the 6-0 Rotherham game.

 

[Vanni]

I've just remembered about two wholly inept strikers we had during the same year Iirc. Step forward Daryl Clare and Wayne Gray. And yeah, I know Clare was a decent striker for other clubs, just not with us. He only managed just the one goal in twenty games for us, and that was a free header with an open goal at his mercy, that even my nan would've put away. This one goal was in an all too easy 5-0 win against Gateshead at The Abbey, a game in which he also missed a penalty. As for Wayne Gray, I believe he actually got more goals (3 I think) than Clare, but he was also a mediocre striker.

Re. Jordan Jones, the Middlesboro kid we had on loan, I've never believed that he was as poor as his 45 min cameo suggested. I rather think it was just nerves. Bear in mind it's a different scenario altogether going from playing in front of only 200 people to playing in front of 5000 plus fans in close proximity to you. Or it could've been a case of him having an off day, an all too common occurrence for players at all levels of the game. For what it's worth, I always give footy players 5 games before making up my mind, as this works both ways, ie. a new signing looks class on his debut, almost too good to be true, but then you discover that it was just an one off.

 

[Valeite]

Jordan Slew was terrible for us but not in the same class of uselessness that Jamie Guy produced who cambridge also had on loan- a pathetic player and nasty individual.

 

[gijsbert_bos]

Strikers...Torpey and Broughton may be our worst. Kyle Perry looked decent in comparison.

 

[spireite]

Colin Heath. Fucking Christ. He came to us from Man Utd of all places, but whoever told that guy he could play football must have been smashed at the time. You know guys who don't even seem to run right. He looked to run from his knees down, and would swing his feet out as if he was dodging something imaginary on the floor. Could do absolutely nothing right. God awful player.

 

[Luke Imp]

Strikers...Torpey and Broughton may be our worst. Kyle Perry looked decent in comparison.

I'd rather have had Broughton than Torpey - that's how bad the latter was.

Ben Hutchinson was shite as well. Coupled with his attitude, I think he was more disliked than the two above.

 

[GodsGift]

Bohan Dixon. No talent whatsoever but also the laziest bastard to boot.

 

[kieran_vale]

There has been a few including last season. Stand outs:

Exodus Geoghagon - Awful, signed on loan from Peterborough the fans turned on him in an unsavoury incident at Accrington.

Neil MacKenzie - Loaned from Notts County, played a horror game against Macc Town and a worse one at Bury... slated the fans and wasn't seen again. Thankfully.

Calvin Mac-Intosch - Dutch Right back lasted half hour last season against Oxford... thankfully we clawed the 2 goal deficit back that he had gifted them.

Regino Cicilia - Big Reg the Curacao crouch gained cult status... worked hard but just wasn't a footballer. Oddly his shitness helped him scored a handful of goals as defenders couldn't handle him. He didn't know what he was going to do let alone the opposition.

Agreed for the most part. I'd struggle to believe there is any worse defender however than Chris Slater (signed alongside the almost equally as useless Kyle Perry from Chasetown after they humiliated us in the Cup) and Jermaine Holwyn whose main claim to fame is scoring the own goal that started the 4 goal lead we tossed away against QPR once.

Can add a lot of the team from the Dean Glover era as manager as well such as his son Danny and Kevin Gall who it amazed me he kept finding multiple clubs at this level.

 

[GTFCfish]

Rakish Bingham.

 

[lordofthepies]

I saw Kyle Perry play a few times for Altrincham and he was dreadful at that level.

 

[Conker]

I saw Kyle Perry play a few times for Altrincham and he was dreadful at that level.

Bambi on ice.

We had him and Rob Duffy upfront!!!

 

[Trapdoor]

Rakish Bingham.

You better check yourself son.

 

[mowgli]

Mark Stallard an alleged strike who once went something like 20 games without scoring or actually getting anywhere near the opposition goal, i seem to remember we faid a transfer fee for him as well.

 

[GTFCfish]

You're incredibly tiresome.

Apologies, not my intention just messing about. I did specify social media though not the posters on here who I think are sound, except Impish.

 

[Clarkey_GTFC]

The one name that really stands out for me is Tomi Ameobi. One would think that coming from a family that has produced a couple of fairly decent players that some of his brother's footballing ability might have rubbed off on him. Unfortunately you would be mistaken. He arrived as a striker and apparently (according to Wikipedia) managed to score five goals in just shy of thirty games for us. How he managed that amount is a complete mystery to me and must surely be down to the ineptitude of our opponents as he rarely, if ever, looked like scoring. In mitigation, which is only fair, we really were pants that season and but for the financial idiocy at Salisbury would have been relegated. After the last game of the season, that we had lost against already relegated Grays Athletic, most of the players came over to the fans to give thanks for their support at the end of a pretty awful season. Tomi was not amongst them as he could not get off the pitch soon enough...possibly the fastest he had moved all season...into the dressing room and presumably a rapid exit from the scene of the crime. For that indiscretion he is head and shoulders above all others, which at well over 6ft he should also have been in the box at corners...if he could have been bothered to jump. I am going on now, it isn't doing my blood pressure any good whatsoever...enough!!!

I was going to include him but he only played 2 games on loan for us. It's hard to truly judge young lads on loan in such a short amount of time but it didn't take long to see that he was completely out of his depth and was never going to succeed at any sort of half decent level.

 

[RavenBish]

Mark Stallard an alleged strike who once went something like 20 games without scoring or actually getting anywhere near the opposition goal, i seem to remember we faid a transfer fee for him as well.

I will not allow Mark Stallard's name in this thread.

 

[Luke Imp]

x2.

MARK STALLARD, STALLARD, HE'S BIG AND HE'S FUCKING HARD, HE'S BETTER THAN FRANK LAMPARD, MARK STALLARD, STALLARD.

 

[mowgli]

I will not allow Mark Stallard's name in this thread.

He was decent for every other team he played but was dogshit for us after we had high hopes of him.

 

[Dave'Davvo'Davidson]

Neil Warnock
Ian Macowat
David Platt

 

[Andy Proctor]

Johnny brain Sam Stockley Scott tanser exodus geohaghan Paul beesley Chris Slater Richard Eyre Craig rocastle Kyle Perry Marcus bent Kevin gall

 

[Dave'Davvo'Davidson]

Johnny brain Sam Stockley Scott tanser exodus geohaghan Paul beesley Chris Slater Richard Eyre Craig rocastle Kyle Perry Marcus bent Kevin gall

And the list goes on...
What about Richard Walker?
We must've seen you lot coming.

 

[kieran_vale]

And the list goes on...
What about Richard Walker?
We must've seen you lot coming.

He was pretty terrible and this is a damning indictment of some of the utter shite that has represented Vale in the last 15 years or so but wouldn't put him in the worst category. Speaking of Crewe rejects coming to Vale Phil Charnock was abysmal also thinking about it.

 

[Dave'Davvo'Davidson]

He was pretty terrible and this is a damning indictment of some of the utter shite that has represented Vale in the last 15 years or so but wouldn't put him in the worst category. Speaking of Crewe rejects coming to Vale Phil Charnock was abysmal also thinking about it.

Well what do you expect?
You've always been a handy outlet for those we no longer have any use for.

 

[PaulHaddock]

I've just remembered Damian Spencer. He was very big and very bad.

 

[TrinidadsNumberOne]

I've just remembered Damian Spencer. He was very big and very bad.

Steve Holland once tried to spend a six figure fee on bringing him from Cheltenham to us.

Thankfully it never happened and he ended up leaving the football league not too long afterwards...

 

[Si Robin]

I will not allow Damian Spencer's name to be said in vain. The man is a Cheltenham legend.

From his 15 min hat-trick at Hull to his absolute screamer at Swindon. The only player to have played a part in every single game of our 63 game promotion season in 05/06. Absolute hero, and a bloody nice bloke to boot.

 

[TimeyWimey]

Steve Holland once tried to spend a six figure fee on bringing him from Cheltenham to us.

Thankfully it never happened and he ended up leaving the football league not too long afterwards...

Steve Holland would have bought me for a six figure fee given the chance.

 

[gijsbert_bos]

Mark Stallard an alleged strike who once went something like 20 games without scoring or actually getting anywhere near the opposition goal, i seem to remember we faid a transfer fee for him as well.

Part of one of our best striker pairings of recent(ish) times with Jamie Forrester. Both of them were reaching the end of their careers and had something of an Indian Summer.

 

[Stringy]

Ainge would make my list as well.

An XI:

GK Dino Seremet
RB Richard Jackson
LB Alan Goodall
CB Alan Shite nee White
CB Simon Ainge
CM Jamie Hand
CM Arnaud Mendy
CM Pavel Besta
CF Stuart Douglas
CF Taiwo Atieno
CF Collin Samuel

We had Alan Goodall on trial for one friendly. He looked good for a Conference left back but signed for Fleetwood.

Wasn't Besta once good? He was around at the same time as Kovacs, that huge Hungarian fellow who appeared for Chesterfield and then you? They must have been some of the only people from the Czech Republic and Hungary to have visited those Conference teams.

Rob Duffy (pen)
Ross Dyer

That's harsh.

Duffy was lazy but definitely not the worst Conference striker we had. He could hold the ball up and find the net. The worst one I can remember was Anthony Robinson.

Alex Jeannin I remember as being sodding terrible.

For former league players, Jason White was a very poor goalkeeper. There was also a guy called Goma Lambu who made one appearance, tried to do a step over but tripped over the ball.

Last one that stands out was a guy called Tait (?) who we took from Leyton Orient in perhaps 2005. I don't remember him doing anything except scoring a free kick which he put under the wall, although I still think he meant to put it over the wall.

 

[Big Bird]

Weren't the worst of the worst but because of the hype surrounding them when they signed at the same time I nominate:

Tony Thorpe and Jamie Cureton.

Was seen as a bit of a coup when we signed both of these from QPR. Both were shite. Luton fans may be offended but Thorpe played less than 10 games and was clearly way past it while Cureton missed sitters on a regular basis. We went down that year.