1FF FC

[epic73]

Foluwashola Ameobi

Striker

6ft 3"

15 stone

Good strength and Mackem bashing abilities

Bad everything else



Can you make me look like this pls?

 

[epic73]

Son HeungCod - dashingly handsome half Korean half English winger/attacking midfielder/forward with electric pace and the ability to make KILLER BALLS and unleash LONG RANGE PILEDRIVERS. 183cm tall, 84kg.

 

[epic73]

Brayden Armstrong


155cm USMNT goalkeeper who became the first human to standing jump from the SoCal sidewalk to the roof of one of the largest Dunkin' Donuts in the state.

Most famous for gossip stories of breaking the hearts of numerous Hollywood B-Listers.

Insists on wearing long tracksuit bottoms, but nobody knows why.

Never knowingly signed an autograph.

The cover star for FIFA in the North American retail region for the last 5 years running.

Stalling on a new contract for the Washington Lumberjacks.

 

[epic73]

Isaac Hunt
Centre half
200cm
150kg
Strong as an ox, can barely run, can read the game excellently, can barely jump - Brayden Armstrong would beat him in the air. 99 shot power. Can't pass 5 yards, but can 50.
Most hipster looking haircut, also pink. Wants a beard but can't grow one. Most pale mofo ever, burns in the sun even if cloudy.
One star weak foot, five star skill moves
Kit number: 56
Nationality: Kyrgyzstani/ Gibraltan

 

[epic73]

Hugh Juste
Defensive midfielder
175cm
90kg
Average in every physical category, very aggressive mentality, does not pass or receive passes from English players (he makes a point to dummy every pass in his direction from English players), however he will tackle English players with his 99 aggression, usually from behind and often off the ball. Will play ball with all others.
Bit of a belly, shaggy beard, red face, strong smell of lemons within a 5 metre radius.
Kit number: 98
Nationality: Scottish

 

[epic73]

Abertawe:

I'm a Peter Beardsley type but a couple inches taller and possessing more of a Shaqiri build. Similar mentality to Roy Keane on a good day but also like Jonjo Shelvey on a bad.

Abertawe

 

[Renegade]

This was more the image I had in mind:

 

[epic73]

Make me the same as I was in the other one.

 

[epic73]

Paulo Di Creggio - LW
Nationality - Malta
Height - 167cm
Weight - 70kg
Top speed
Top dribbling
Top passing
Average crossing
Crap shooting
Crap heading
Crap at set pieces
Tendency to dive

 

[epic73]

Ludwig Buscamonte-Poppleton
170cm
70kg
Squad no: 180
Nationality: German/Italian/English/Palauan
Small but stocky. Marauding, combative central midfielder. Highly energetic, although prone to tiring early. Skilful. Enjoys going on mazy runs and fond of a crunching tackle but possesses a weak shot and is a poor header of the ball. Reasonable passer but highly ineffective when it comes to crossing.
Off the field, Buscamonte-Poppleton sports a rainbow mohican haircut and is noted for his eco and animal rights activism. Was dubbed "the monkey man" after releasing a number of animals from a medical research facility and has since become the co-founder and president of BAPS (Big Apes Preservation Society). He is a huge fan of Dame Vera Lynn, whose face is famously tattooed on his left buttock, and enjoys long walks in the country.

 

[epic73]

Pramod Valderrama Quintana
Nepali/Colombian
Squad # 5
SW/D/DM C
6 foot 1.
95kg.
Likes: Communism, Craft ale, Cycling, Cats, Chess, Cross Stitching
Dislikes: Fascism, Walsall Football Club, Spiders, Isaac Hunt (which can be difficult when they're playing together in defence. Their combined lack of pace causes problems too)
Bald head, big nose and heavily bearded.
Pretty slow and a bit on the fat side but respectable in the air and superb passer and great reader of the game. Much better than Son HeungCod at penalties. Fairly two-footed but naturally right footed. Usually plays in defence but occasionally has a habit of wandering up the field and forgetting to come back.
Vegan.

 

[epic73]

I'm in, but I won't start if we end up getting enough players.

Sean Maguire
LB
#82
5'11, 150 lb
Pacy, attacking fullback. Great at shooting, bad at passing and dribbling. Okay at defending. Enjoys pineapple on pizza and is better at penalties than Pramod VQ.
Nationality: American
Aggressive but not aggressive enough to yell at the ref; mutters under his breath when the opposition get an unfair free kick.

 

[epic73]

Raul Mohammed Castro Marx
CM
#69
Palestinian
Like a box to box player. Think Gerrard/Pogba/Nainggolan vibe. Arrives late in to the box and scores some screamers but also tracks back and is a decent defender.
Likes: retrieving stolen nintendos, revolution and Islam
Carnivore

 

[Ernesto]

Why did you make me a fucking defender you little toad?

 

[Ernesto]

And such a low rating too. I literally hate you right now, ya fat idiot kid.

 

[Benji]

View attachment 9166

Perfect.

Even harks back to the two seasons he spent at the Arlington Red Squirrels when he was a big fish in a small pond and demanded to play as a winger.

 

[epic73]

Why did you make me a fucking defender you little toad?

And such a low rating too. I literally hate you right now, ya fat idiot kid.

Clearly you didn't read the bit where I said:

Ignore everything in the top left box on the stat pages.

 

[Son of Cod]

Glad Ian is a defender because he will be excellent at guarding the half time oranges and snacks.

 

[epic73]

Glad Ian is a defender because he will be excellent at guarding the half time oranges and snacks.

He's actually a midfielder so he can pass them around.

 

[epic73]

The current lineup looks like this:

Starting XI​

G.B

Son of Cod

Craig - Ernesto - The Paranoid Pineapple - Abertawe

Stagat

Look Out There Are Llamas - lordofthepies - Renegade

Benji

Bench
epic73 - Ali Dia - Eddie Johnson - Other Eddie Johnson - 6/10 Messi - TWO MYSTERY SIGNINGS

Reserves
THREE MORE MYSTERY SIGNINGS
​

The mystery signings are undecided players that already exist. PM me if you would like to sign a particular player.

 

[epic73]

Tentative Preseason Schedule

1FF FC vs Valencia
1FF FC vs Ajax
1FF FC vs Porto

 

[epic73]

Eddie Johnson is not in FIFA, so I've gotten a Colombian centreback called Eddie and also Glen Johnson instead.

 

[Benji]

You might as well just punch me in the face.

 

[epic73]

You might as well just punch me in the face.

You're too short.

 

[epic73]

1FF FC vs Valencia - Preseason Friendly

Spoiler

28': GOAL 1FF FC! Son HeungCod passes it to Roy Shelvey, who makes a run down the right wing before cutting it back and crossing it in to di Creggio, who heads it past the goalkeeper from 12 yards out!
45': Halftime, 1-0.
49': HeungCod wins a free kick 22 yards out. His awful shot goes to Shola Ameobi, who hits it right at the goalkeeper.
53': GOAL VALENCIA. Soler plays it to Zaza, who evades a sliding challenge from Shelvey. He hits it over Brayden Armstrong's head (not difficult) and into the back of the net. 1-1.
65': CHANCE! Buscamonte-Poppleton makes a good run and plays a through ball to HeungCod. He aims for the bottom left corner from 20 yards out but it hits the post and is cleared out of the box. Buscamonte-Poppleton has a shot from 25 yards out but it goes wide.
66': Sean Maguire is substituted on for a tiring di Creggio.
69': CHANCE! Shelvey's brilliant long range effort is met with an even better save from Neto.
77': CHANCE! Maguire crosses it to Ianesta, who volleys it over the bar.
82': GOAL VALENCIA. Zaza plays it to Nani, who produces a fantastic curled shot to go up 2-1.
82': Substitution: Shola Ameobi off, Danny Rose on.
90': The ref blows his whistle, and it ends 2-1 to Valencia.

Spoiler

1FF FC 1-2 Valencia

Goals: di Creggio
Assists: Shelvey
Top 3 Performers: Buscamonte-Poppleton, Valderrama Quintana, HeungCod
MOTM: Zaza

 

[epic73]

1FF FC vs Ajax - Preseason Friendly

Spoiler

4': GOAL AJAX. Dolberg plays it across the 6 yard box to Ziyech who taps it in. 1-0.
8': GOAL AJAX. This time it's Ziyech with the through ball to Dolberg, who slots it past Armstrong.
11': GOAL 1FF FC! HeungCod plays a simple pass through two defenders to Ameobi, who makes no mistake with the finish.
16': PENALTY. Hugh Juste got the ball when he tackled Dolberg, but Ajax have clearly paid off the ref so it's a penalty and a red card.
16': GOAL AJAX. Schone converts the penalty, sending Armstrong the wrong way.
25': GOAL AJAX. Ziyech has a shot from long range and the goalkeeper doesn't even move. I didn't even know that was possible in FIFA. I hate Brayden Armstrong so much. 4-1.
27': GOAL 1FF FC! Shelvey crosses it in to Ameobi, who gets his second goal with a good header.
32': GOAL 1FF FC! After a great double save by Onana, HeungCod gets his second assist of the match as Stagattuso scores a header from his corner.
35': GOAL 1FF FC! What a match! Ameobi plays it through to HeungCod, who slots it past Onana to level it up.
38': SAVE!!!!!!!! Schone receives the ball 5 yards from goal but Armstrong finally makes a save to deny him.
45': Halftime, 4-4.
90': SAVE! Armstrong makes a save that looks really fantastic but anyone over 5'3" probably could have caught it.
90': 4-4 is the final score.

Spoiler

1FF FC 4-4 Ajax
Goals: Ameobi (2), HeungCod, Stagattuso
Assists: HeungCod (2), Ameobi, Shelvey
Top 3 Performers: Ameobi, HeungCod, Stagattuso
MOTM: Ameobi

 

[epic73]

1FF FC vs Porto - Preseason Friendly

Spoiler

8': CHANCE. Brahimi beats Armstrong with a shot but hits the woodwork.
45': Halftime, 0-0.
67': Ali Dia and Glen Johnson come on for Ameobi and Hunt.
90': GOAL PORTO. Marega slips between two defenders and passes it past Armstrong into the net.
90': GOAL 1FF FC! After a goalmouth scramble Shelvey pokes it in! 1-1.

Spoiler

1FF FC 1-1 Porto
Goals: Shelvey
Assists: HeungCod
Top 3 Performers: Shelvey, Buscamonte-Poppleton, Ianesta
MOTM: Marega

 

[epic73]

Preseason Roundup
1FF FC 1-2 Valencia
1FF FC 4-4 Ajax
1FF FC 1-1 Porto

Top Scorers
1. Shola Ameobi - 2
2. Roy Shelvey - 1
2. Son HeungCod - 1
2. Gennaro Stagattuso - 1
2. Paulo di Creggio - 1

Most Assists
1. Son HeungCod - 3
2. Roy Shelvey - 2
3. Shola Ameobi - 1

Most MOTMs
1. Shola Ameobi - 1

Top Performers
1. Son HeungCod
2. Roy Shelvey
3. Shola Ameobi

 

[Benji]

I'm concerned about my defence.

 

[lordofthepies]

I'm concerned about my defence.

I'm concerned about my goalkeeper.