Crewe Alexandra v Port Vale

[Freakyteeth]

Quite, how does it feel knowing you're going back down to where you belong. L2 at very best.

 

[dannyc5]

JJ Hooper from Havent and Waterlooville. Vale are heading straight to the play offs.

Get a grip vale fans. You were a lot better in the 1st half. 2nd half was more even, which you still had the better of. We were pathetically bad, you were just pathetic. Both teams will struggle.

JJ Hooper. Deary me.

 

[Freakyteeth]

 

[Vale on Trent]

JJ Hooper from Havent and Waterlooville. Vale are heading straight to the play offs.

Get a grip vale fans. You were a lot better in the 1st half. 2nd half was more even, which you still had the better of. We were pathetically bad, you were just pathetic. Both teams will struggle.

JJ Hooper. Deary me.

Compared to Marcus Haber and Dalla Valle? Possibly the worst two strikers I've seen in years, did they touch the ball?

One thing that always used to admired me with Crewe was their attacking intent based on possession play and fast counter attacks. Seems to be though in recent viewings that the so called 'Crewe way' is dwindling? This is not a dig at all, just wondered what Crewe fans think? Is there anyone coming through the ranks?

 

[dannyc5]

We are shit. I think that's been fairly comprehensively covered. We have been for 3 years. I don't think many Crewe fans will disagree with that. Those that do, are strongly deluded.

JJ Hooper who Northampton let go, compared to Haber and Dalle Valle who have FL goals. You lot are so deluded. Besides, Haber will be out of the team soon. Dalle Valle, Colclough and Cooper will be the front 3.

 

[valefan16]

I think any realistic Crewe fan would admit we were much better than them Saturday. Even Dull Davis managed too.

Keeper well I don't know about ours as he didn't have one save to make but Crewe have a good keeper.

Defence we were much superior across the back four although their two central defenders did well, we also had Inniss on the bench, midfield we simply outfootballed there's and our wingers tore Crewe apart at times.

Up front we were better as Crewe did nothing at all. In the pre match we were told how Crewes midfield was decent and Dalla Valle and Haber were 'decent', it took until yesterday for me to realise Dalla Valle actually played! I thought he hadn't played and was surprised when he didn't come on!

If you look at the bigger picture Crewe will be happier with a point, and so they should of been whilst we will be more happier for the seasons outlook. We need a striker to score but the football was there, the defence was solid and we looked much better than last season. Crewe have a lot of work to do to avoid relegation us not so much.

JJ Hooper knows Where the net is, it's a gamble but a cheap one and if it comes off we will be laughing. If it doesn't we've probably only wasted a few hundred a week. We're not far off a decent outfit.

 

[valefan16]

We are shit. I think that's been fairly comprehensively covered. We have been for 3 years. I don't think many Crewe fans will disagree with that. Those that do, are strongly deluded.

JJ Hooper who Northampton let go, compared to Haber and Dalle Valle who have FL goals. You lot are so deluded. Besides, Haber will be out of the team soon. Dalle Valle, Colclough and Cooper will be the front 3.

Haber and Dalle Valle have similar goals to game ratios to AJ and Uche... But Crewe fans gloss over this fact... Dalle Valle scored a few of those in weak leagues too!

 

[dannyc5]

Hang on, brains. When did I compare them to AJ and Uche. Please quote me in your reply. Go on, do it.

I compared them to your new wonder signing, who has a less impressive record than Jordan Connerton when he first signed for us. LMAO

 

[valefan16]

Hang on, brains. When did I compare them to AJ and Uche. Please quote me in your reply. Go on, do it.

I compared them to your new wonder signing, who has a less impressive record than Jordan Connerton when he first signed for us. LMAO

Many have slated AJ and Uche whilst wallowing in the brilliance of LDV and Haber on the main Crewe v vale thread.

I'm pleased we are ditching the way we have signed players to trying to find a diamond in the rough, if it works out great, if not we've not lost much, take Andoh who had a superb cameo Saturday, ex Porto and current Ghana U20 low wage and worth a gamble and looks very capable. Some will come off, others won't but it's worth the risk when you look at his record over the past 18 months and he's earned the chance to try his luck at a higher level.

 

[valefan16]

If we were poor then our absolute domination of Crewe would surely be a massive concern for Crewe fans? Personally we were far better than last season, played some good football and did well in a tricky game where the opposition had no interest in trying to win the game which is never easy to look good against when your playing a side that desperate they are warned for timewasting mid way through the second half.

 

[dannyc5]

It is a massive concern. Don't think any Crewe fans on here have said it isn't? Except for the odd happy clappy **** on Twitter, who seem to think there were somehow loads of positives to take out of the game. We are appalling, have been for 2-3 years, and I saw nothing on Saturday to suggest that this season will be any different.

TBH, don't even know why I am getting wound up. If Vale fans want to delude themselves that they have a strong team, fuck it, be my guest.

 

[valefan16]

It is a massive concern. Don't think any Crewe fans on here have said it isn't? Except for the odd happy clappy **** on Twitter, who seem to think there were somehow loads of positives to take out of the game. We are appalling, have been for 2-3 years, and I saw nothing on Saturday to suggest that this season will be any different.

TBH, don't even know why I am getting wound up. If Vale fans want to delude themselves that they have a strong team, fuck it, be my guest.

We've got a solid defence and midfield by lightweight up top, much improved on last season but that wasn't hard to be honest, if Hooper does do the business we can do well this season, if he doesn't we will float lower mid table but should survive without looking over our shoulders. Don't think anyone has said we will fly up and challenge the top end.

 

[dannyc5]

Oh come on. Twitter, OVF, here, Vale fans have made out you were the reincarnation of 1970's Brazil on Saturday.

 

[Crewelad87]

I really cant believe how much praise Vale fans are putting on their side, ive got a feeling you are going to left very dissapointed. It was a poor games two poor teams that the bookies back for relegation. Vale were better but by no means were they a million miles better othrwise they would have thumped us like decent teams do. Both will be in a relegation battle this season. Any Vale fan who thinks they get near the top half needs to get a grip and get real.

 

[dannyc5]

Just been reading OVF. They are so excited by the new signing. Quick google search shows that Raith Rovers, Inverness and Dunfermline all turned him down this summer.

I don't even dislike Vale. I just hate people that are biased, and worst of all, deluded.

 

[Freakyteeth]

WHATS THAT SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ALL OF OUR MONEY

 

[The Alex]

I don't even dislike Vale.

Why???

 

[dannyc5]

I only dislike Steve Davis.

 

[valefan16]

I think Crewe fans are trying to make themselves feel better about their dreadfulness by trying to look for faults in Vale considering you seem to be going on about us struggling rather than focusing on Crewe...

Our side Saturday was an improvement on last season, anyone can see that, more solid, ball on the deck, lacking one thing but whilst Crewe fans enjoy their chairman having an MBE (so did Bratt), playing the Crewe way, not buying youngsters, not buying rivals ex players, ours is prepared to invest and try and address the faults in our squad (Anwick to replace Johnson, Hooper to try and address the lack of a poacher) but it's ok as he's a bit of a buffoon on social media so the fact yours is sticking with Davis is ok.

If we're better than last year I struggle to see why we would be in a relegation fight, but as plenty of Vale fans have said on here there's work to be done to address and tweak as we should of won that game 3 or 4-0 and that is a concern.

I think we will easily survive, were better than last year, much more solid looking down the spine of the team and Smurf has shown he will fund to turn things around if need be (Collins for instance at the end of last season)

If I was a Crewe fan I'd be looking at why you put in one of the most negative and weak home performances I've seen since we've been at this level and why you were outplayed for 90 minutes by a side you consider contenders to go down and let us worry about Vale.

We may struggle, you never know in football but at least we're trying to ensure we don't rather than accept failure and wallow in negativity.

 

[dannyc5]

So football fans can only talk about their own club? Great logic.

 

[TrinidadsNumberOne]

I think Crewe fans are trying to make themselves feel better about their dreadfulness by trying to look for faults in Vale considering you seem to be going on about us struggling rather than focusing on Crewe...

Our side Saturday was an improvement on last season, anyone can see that, more solid, ball on the deck, lacking one thing but whilst Crewe fans enjoy their chairman having an MBE (so did Bratt), playing the Crewe way, not buying youngsters, not buying rivals ex players, ours is prepared to invest and try and address the faults in our squad (Anwick to replace Johnson, Hooper to try and address the lack of a poacher) but it's ok as he's a bit of a buffoon on social media so the fact yours is sticking with Davis is ok.

If we're better than last year I struggle to see why we would be in a relegation fight, but as plenty of Vale fans have said on here there's work to be done to address and tweak as we should of won that game 3 or 4-0 and that is a concern.

I think we will easily survive, were better than last year, much more solid looking down the spine of the team and Smurf has shown he will fund to turn things around if need be (Collins for instance at the end of last season)

If I was a Crewe fan I'd be looking at why you put in one of the most negative and weak home performances I've seen since we've been at this level and why you were outplayed for 90 minutes by a side you consider contenders to go down and let us worry about Vale.

We may struggle, you never know in football but at least we're trying to ensure we don't rather than accept failure and wallow in negativity.

But, as shite and mundane as we were, you still didn't beat us which is the most hilarious and important thing!

I think it's very narrow minded to make assumptions on one game, especially a local derby that obviously has a lot riding on it given the bragging rights. Could you imagine the hiding Page would've took from the fickle section of your support if you'd have lost that game on Saturday? Because Davis would've had a lot of flak to deal with from the very fickle sections of our support. I genuinely believe Davis set us up not to lose, hence the late switch to a 4-1-4-1 formation with two incredibly defensive fullbacks and an incredibly isolated forward up front. This led to the snoozefest that went on on the pitch. Truthfully, Port Vale never looked like scoring despite having a lot of the ball and having a plethora of corners whilst we were just happy to slow the play down to snail's pace and aimlessly hoof the ball to Haber, something we won't be doing every week else Davis will find himself signing on before he knows it!

I can assure you that at Scunthorpe on Saturday we won't be lining up so defensively, we'll hopefully have an attacking fullback hopefully signed and we'll give them a game. For now, confidence remains high in our ranks, we're satisfied, not happy, with the point and we look forward to games where bragging rights aren't necessarily at stake.

To sum it up, I thought Port Vale knocked the ball about very well despite the sheer lack of end product but I still don't know if that's a good indicator as to where they'll finish, it could be viably assumed that they solely raised their natural game for the derby. I know for a fact we'll play a lot better than we did today in most games this season. Let's see where both our sides are after at least 10 games before we recklessly judge about whose going up or down.

 

[Freakyteeth]

going down going down going down

 

[TimeyWimey]

so are we so are we so are we

 

[Shrimpurh]

What an absolute shock this was 0-0

 

[Brammer_£500000]

What an absolute shock this was 0-0

Was it 0-0, I thought vale won.....

 

[Hurrikeen]

I've never heard the term “fisting” used, when the match has ended 0-0.

I mean, come on – fisting?

Really, you could just liken the respective performances to that of a weak man trying to shove his fist up the chutney channel of a slightly weaker man, one who’s energy has been sapped and can’t fight back, but feels thankful that the “fister” is powderpuff in one’s assault and has the strength of a Mosquito’s bicep, thus failing to actually get one’s fist up there. Thus rendering the whole process a waste of time and leaves the weak man with very little bragging rights over the slightly weaker man, other than to say “well, one nearly fisted you”.

 

[TomPNE94]

I've never heard the term “fisting” used, when the match has ended 0-0.

I mean, come on – fisting?

Really, you could just liken the respective performances to that of a weak man trying to shove his fist up the chutney channel of a slightly weaker man, one who’s energy has been sapped and can’t fight back, but feels thankful that the “fister” is powderpuff in one’s assault and has the strength of a Mosquito’s bicep, thus failing to actually get one’s fist up there. Thus rendering the whole process a waste of time and leaves the weak man with very little bragging rights over the slightly weaker man, other than to say “well, one nearly fisted you”.

 

[TrinidadsNumberOne]

I've never heard the term “fisting” used, when the match has ended 0-0.

I mean, come on – fisting?

Really, you could just liken the respective performances to that of a weak man trying to shove his fist up the chutney channel of a slightly weaker man, one who’s energy has been sapped and can’t fight back, but feels thankful that the “fister” is powderpuff in one’s assault and has the strength of a Mosquito’s bicep, thus failing to actually get one’s fist up there. Thus rendering the whole process a waste of time and leaves the weak man with very little bragging rights over the slightly weaker man, other than to say “well, one nearly fisted you”.

They probably would've fisted us but they had the common courtesy to replace a competent striker in Tom Pope with a donkey worthy of a trip to the knackers yard in Uche. It was like one of those really shit undercard fights at a boxing event between two bums. Vale being the one who can't punch for shit and Crewe being the one whose too scared to put his guard down for fear of the inevitable backlash if they/he lost.

 

[Hurrikeen]

They probably would've fisted us but they had the common courtesy to replace a competent striker in Tom Pope with a donkey worthy of a trip to the knackers yard in Uche.

And that is where my analogy comes in. It's as though the fister skipped arm-day at the gym and concentrated on one's legs in order to give one a good base to work from, but in the meantime neglecting one's mosquito-biceps and wondering why one couldn't penetrate said chutney channel to successfully perform the act of fisting.

Actually, having had a quick glance on Urban Dictionary, I've just spotted this...

The Burslem Fist

The Burslem Fist is where you bend your victim over for 90 minutes and try to penetrate said victim with persistent thrusts of a clenched fist, unaware that, despite your victim having no arms or legs and a torso as strong as a poppadum, you lack the firepower to carry out a traditional fisting, and are just left smearing remants of truffle-butter around the area until the 90 minutes have passed.

"You should have seen it the other day valefan16, I gave this poor bastard a right fisting".

"You managed to get your fist in, yeah?"

"Nah, not quite - the poor bastard's balloon knot had more resistance than I thought and I just got tired in the end. I made it uncomfy for him for an hour and a half though."

"Ahh, I see. That's what's called The Burslem Fist, departed user!"

 

[jbet]

I've returned to apologise.

We also made Burnley look a bit silly last night, by playing them off the park in a similar fashion we did against Crewe. So perhaps I've been a tad harsh predicting your demise to be confirmed by March, perhaps I just underestimated how fucking great we are this season.

All the best.