CrazyImp
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2015
- Messages
- 1,498
- Reaction score
- 563
- Points
- 113
- Supports
- Lincoln City
- @Sam_LCFC_90
Much like a Halifax fan near a 50p hooker - I'm getting it in early.
AFC Telford vs. Lincoln
Barnet vs. Halifax
Braintree vs. Aldershot
Bristol Rovers vs. Southport
Chester vs. Dover
Dartford vs. Nuneaton
Eastleigh vs. Alfreton
Forest Green vs. Macclesfield
Grimsby vs. Wrexham
Torquay vs. Altrincham
Welling vs. Kidderminster
Woking vs. Gateshead
I feel it only appropriate to start with our near neighbours from Cleethorpes this week - they're turning into quite the media whores aren't they? Not content with their Christmas stunt featuring a random fan in love with a donkey, they've gone on a slightly above average run and are set to have a super accurate documentary made about them by Señor Baron Cohen - hopefully he'll end up in the bed of Craig Disley's 25-stone wife or something. They play Wrexham at the Stadio del Cod this week in a likely win or bust hunt for the tinpot Easter Egg.
In said hunt, Barnet are hanging on grimly at the summit, much like Urban's sense of sanity - can the Marmelade Men hold onto that golden ticket back to the Football League? It would take a brave man to bet on the division's saintly angels Halifax you feel. Tears at the Shay, not for the first time.
Going west, we have Bristol Rovers and their alleged 50,000 fans still hopeful of an immediate return to paradise as well - so it's going to be a shock when Steve and his Scouse dog Scamper from Southport roll up to the Mem in their mini van and steal an utterly undeserved 1-0 win, having had 22% possession. (Probably not, but it would be a hoot to see the reaction)
My club Lincoln are going to do our bit for charity this weekend, despite needing a bit of it ourselves, by handing already relegated Telford a goodwill three points on their way back to Gainsborough, Leamington et al, whereas probably the worst side I've seen this season, Nuneaton, need that and a prayer in their bid to avoid the same fate - but will surely dispose of Dartford like one of Garry Hill's nappies.
Speaking of the bald messiah, I fear he needs to cut down on those funny fags, he's been looking a little downtrodden appearance-wise recently (ie the last decade) much like a Conference Avram Grant....alas, his Woking side have a home game against busted flush Gateshead, whom it appears the term "flatter to deceive" was created for....expect the home side to cause another shock.
Now onto the biggest fairytale cum tragedy of the season - that's right, I'm talking about #TheMaccMachine2015. It's beauty blossomed in the Winter, like a 17th century rendition of Romeo and Juliet, a beacon of hope and love....and then its engine went and exploded, guts flying everywhere if B2TF is to be believed. They desperately need something at Flower Power FC if their promotion dream against the odds (TM) is to remain alive.
Elsewhere in the Easter garden - tense times for two old tinpot "favourites" (lol) in Alfreton and Welling, who are staring each other down like Channing Tatum and Robert Pattinson as to who is the more talentless - they go in search of survival against play-off hopefuls Eastleigh and an abomination of a Kiddy side respectively. Braintree and Aldershot play each other in the sewers of the south; the world's greatest manager Steve Burr, having lost a million games in a row now, has another tough task at home to surprise package Douvres....and finally Torquay play Alty near the end of a season more forgettable than Kelly Clarkson's music career.
So many questions, so little time.....will Paul Hurst ready his gherkin and brussel sprouts if he pulls the unthinkable off? Will Rovers' 50,000 fans maintain their now famous sense of humility if promotion comes their way? And will Martin Allen resign with one game left if Barnet slip down a place? A fascinating finale is set to ensue. Raise your tankards non-leaguers.
Exit, to queue for Craig Disley's wife.
AFC Telford vs. Lincoln
Barnet vs. Halifax
Braintree vs. Aldershot
Bristol Rovers vs. Southport
Chester vs. Dover
Dartford vs. Nuneaton
Eastleigh vs. Alfreton
Forest Green vs. Macclesfield
Grimsby vs. Wrexham
Torquay vs. Altrincham
Welling vs. Kidderminster
Woking vs. Gateshead
I feel it only appropriate to start with our near neighbours from Cleethorpes this week - they're turning into quite the media whores aren't they? Not content with their Christmas stunt featuring a random fan in love with a donkey, they've gone on a slightly above average run and are set to have a super accurate documentary made about them by Señor Baron Cohen - hopefully he'll end up in the bed of Craig Disley's 25-stone wife or something. They play Wrexham at the Stadio del Cod this week in a likely win or bust hunt for the tinpot Easter Egg.
In said hunt, Barnet are hanging on grimly at the summit, much like Urban's sense of sanity - can the Marmelade Men hold onto that golden ticket back to the Football League? It would take a brave man to bet on the division's saintly angels Halifax you feel. Tears at the Shay, not for the first time.
Going west, we have Bristol Rovers and their alleged 50,000 fans still hopeful of an immediate return to paradise as well - so it's going to be a shock when Steve and his Scouse dog Scamper from Southport roll up to the Mem in their mini van and steal an utterly undeserved 1-0 win, having had 22% possession. (Probably not, but it would be a hoot to see the reaction)
My club Lincoln are going to do our bit for charity this weekend, despite needing a bit of it ourselves, by handing already relegated Telford a goodwill three points on their way back to Gainsborough, Leamington et al, whereas probably the worst side I've seen this season, Nuneaton, need that and a prayer in their bid to avoid the same fate - but will surely dispose of Dartford like one of Garry Hill's nappies.
Speaking of the bald messiah, I fear he needs to cut down on those funny fags, he's been looking a little downtrodden appearance-wise recently (ie the last decade) much like a Conference Avram Grant....alas, his Woking side have a home game against busted flush Gateshead, whom it appears the term "flatter to deceive" was created for....expect the home side to cause another shock.
Now onto the biggest fairytale cum tragedy of the season - that's right, I'm talking about #TheMaccMachine2015. It's beauty blossomed in the Winter, like a 17th century rendition of Romeo and Juliet, a beacon of hope and love....and then its engine went and exploded, guts flying everywhere if B2TF is to be believed. They desperately need something at Flower Power FC if their promotion dream against the odds (TM) is to remain alive.
Elsewhere in the Easter garden - tense times for two old tinpot "favourites" (lol) in Alfreton and Welling, who are staring each other down like Channing Tatum and Robert Pattinson as to who is the more talentless - they go in search of survival against play-off hopefuls Eastleigh and an abomination of a Kiddy side respectively. Braintree and Aldershot play each other in the sewers of the south; the world's greatest manager Steve Burr, having lost a million games in a row now, has another tough task at home to surprise package Douvres....and finally Torquay play Alty near the end of a season more forgettable than Kelly Clarkson's music career.
So many questions, so little time.....will Paul Hurst ready his gherkin and brussel sprouts if he pulls the unthinkable off? Will Rovers' 50,000 fans maintain their now famous sense of humility if promotion comes their way? And will Martin Allen resign with one game left if Barnet slip down a place? A fascinating finale is set to ensue. Raise your tankards non-leaguers.
Exit, to queue for Craig Disley's wife.