1FF Wars

[IanH]

Fucking come on mark, our two remaining boys have got this !

 

[Leewilson]

Fucking come on mark, our two remaining boys have got this !

One of them is a girl.

 

[IanH]

I seem to do this with alarming regularity.

I was at a festival with my girlfriend in Spain last week, and was introduced to a girl and a boy. I kissed the girl on both cheeks as is custom and then sort of dangled my hand out for the guy, who seemed reluctant to take it. Cue me staring for a good five seconds at the chestal region (which wasnt giving much away) before deciding it might be a girl and going in for a kiss. They then seemed almost as reluctant for that which led my heart to start banging thinking I'd actually just forced a guy to kiss me like some fucking Argentinian and needing to whisper to my gf for confirmation.

It's a bloody minefield.

 

[Leewilson]

I seem to do this with alarming regularity.

I was at a festival with my girlfriend in Spain last week, and was introduced to a girl and a boy. I kissed the girl on both cheeks as is custom and then sort of dangled my hand out for the guy, who seemed reluctant to take it. Cue me staring for a good five seconds at the chestal region (which wasnt giving much away) before deciding it might be a girl and going in for a kiss. They then seemed almost as reluctant for that which led my heart to start banging thinking I'd actually just forced a guy to kiss me like some fucking Argentinian and needing to whisper to my gf for confirmation.

It's a bloody minefield.

Brilliant! So was it actually a girl or guy?

 

[IanH]

She didn't know either!

 

[The Hand of Dom]

3DD to Quahog

 

[Munkiki]

Goldenrod City
Lightweight
Death Match
Arya Stark – 3BR 3HP 1D6 (STAG) vs 1 vs 1

Quahog
Lightweight
Gene Hunt – 5BR 2HP 1D6 (STAG) vs Lex Luthor – 10BR 1HP 1D6 (T6) vs Rocky Balboa – 10BR 5HP 1D6 (3DD)

Vice City
Middleweight
Trick or Treat Fight
Sagat w/Combat MG – 17BR 3HP 1D6 (STAG) vs Carl "CJ" Johnson w/the Golden Axe – 17BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD) vs Katniss Everdeen – 12BR 2HP 1D6 (T6)

TARDIS
Middleweight
Death Match
Mew w/Portal Gun – 14BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD) vs The Flash – 15BR 2HP 1D8 (STAG) vs 1

Jurassic Park
Heavyweight
Independence Day UFO – 20BR 1HP 1D6 (STAG) vs 1 vs 1

Mt Olympus
Heavyweight
Death Match
Scott Pilgrim – 20BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD) vs Captain America w/Valyrian Steel – 19BR 2HP 2D12 (STAG) vs 1

Metropolis
Bonus – £500,000 and Offer Boost (6 offers total, 3 guaranteed item offers)
Death Match
Pingu – 20BR 5HP 2D12 (3DD) vs Emile Heskey – 2BR 2HP 1D6 (STAG) vs 1

 

[Munkiki]

Goldenrod City
Lightweight
Death Match
Arya Stark – 3BR 3HP 1D6 (STAG) uncontested

Quahog
Lightweight
Gene Hunt – 5BR 2HP 1D6 (STAG) vs Lex Luthor – 10BR 1HP 1D6 (T6) vs Rocky Balboa – 10BR 5HP 1D6 (3DD)

There was nothing between Gene and Lex and it was very close to being a three-way tie but Rocky just about edged it.

Vice City
Middleweight
Trick or Treat Fight
Sagat w/Combat MG – 17BR 3HP 1D6 (STAG) vs Carl "CJ" Johnson w/the Golden Axe – 17BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD) vs Katniss Everdeen – 12BR 2HP 1D6 (T6)

Sagat went to mow them down with the MG, a misfire sent him stumbling. Katniss took the opportunity to shoot an arrow at him but as soon as she released the Golden Axe was lodged in her skull, CJ taking advantage of the distraction.

CJ gets a...

Spoiler

... TREAT! He gains an additional +1BR and +1HP.

TARDIS
Middleweight
Death Match
Mew w/Portal Gun – 14BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD) vs The Flash – 15BR 2HP 1D8 (STAG)

Even with the Portal Gun, Mew wasn't quick enough for the Flash. A routine win as he lets the Pokémon wear itself out before delivering the killing blow.

Jurassic Park
Heavyweight
Independence Day UFO – 20BR 1HP 1D6 (STAG) uncontested

Mt Olympus
Heavyweight
Death Match
Scott Pilgrim – 20BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD) vs Captain America w/Valyrian Steel – 19BR 2HP 2D12 (STAG)

Pilgrim had a slight BR advantage but Caps' dice weighted this heavily in his favour and so it proved. A poor performance from Scott made it an easy win for Captain America.

Metropolis
Bonus – £500,000 and Offer Boost (6 offers total, 3 guaranteed item offers)
Death Match
Pingu – 20BR 5HP 2D12 (3DD) vs Emile Heskey – 2BR 2HP 1D6 (STAG)

Heskey does a fucking epic step-over that leaves Pingu stunned! He instantly wins the fight.

 

[PaulHaddock]

That is brilliant.

 

[Leewilson]

That's pretty funny actually.

 

[Munkiki]

3DD:
Gain £20,000
Gain Quahog
Rocky Balboa gains 1BR
Gain £50,000
Gain Vice City
Carl "CJ" Johnson gains 2BR and 1HP
Lose TARDIS
Mew is killed
Lose Mt Olympus
Scott Pilgrim is killed
Lose Metropolis
Pingu is killed

STAG:
Gain £30,000
Lose Quahog
Gene Hunt loses 1HP
Lose Vice City
Sagat loses 1HP
Gain £50,000
Gain TARDIS
Gain £30,000
Gain £80,000
Gain Mt Olympus
Captain America gains 1BR
Gain £500,000
Gain Metropolis
Gain Offer Boost
Emile Heskey gains 1BR

T6:
Lex Luthor is killed
Katniss Everdeen loses 1HP

 

[Spirederman]

Hahaha, I thought Step Over was a dud power tbh. Turns out to best the funniest one in the game :Lol:

Great work Emile

 

[Spirederman]

Looking like the final bells are tolling for T6.

Despite being Jigsawed Cap has soon recovered.

 

[HarvSFC]

Pingu

 

[Munkiki]

Tyler Durden has set up a Stag Fight Club, each week he organises fights between his team. Gene Hunt gains +1BR.

Wages/earnings paid.

Sending out offers in a bit. Deadline: 12pm tomorrow.

 

[Munkiki]

Mr. Monopoly collects £100,000

3DD sign:

T-Rex – 13BR 3HP 1D6 – £250,000/£35,000 – Roar!

Med-Pack – £30,000 (heals 1HP)

STAGS buy:
Dice Upgrade – £50,000 (upgrades the dice of a character of your choosing)
Dice Upgrade – £50,000 (upgrades the dice of a character of your choosing)
Med-Pack – £30,000 (heals 1HP)
WWE Championship – £50,000

T6 sign:

E.T. – 2BR 3HP 1D4 – £160,000/£10,000 – Psychic Link


Rocky Balboa gains +1BR through Xavier's School

 

[Munkiki]

Week 38 Fight Card:

Oblivion
Lightweight
STAG vs 1 vs Dovahkiin (14BR 3HP 1D6)

Orgrimmar
Lightweight
Death Match
3DD vs 1 vs 1

Mount Doom
Middleweight
Death Match
STAG vs 1 vs Sauron (20BR 5HP 1D6)

Hogwarts
Middleweight
Double Dice
STAG vs 1 vs Albus Dumbledore (16BR 3HP 1D6)

Winterfell
Heavyweight
3DD vs OAF vs Eddard Stark (8BR 3HP 1D6)

Normandy Beach
Heavyweight
Death Match
STAG vs 1 vs 1

Team 6 HQ
Bonus – winner receives one of Dovahkiin/Sauron/Albus Dumbledore/Eddard Stark (their choice) for free
£250,000
T6 vs 3DD vs STAG

Deadline: we'll say 1pm tomorrow but as always re: Mondays I'm not about so reveal may come later if Oaf isn't about

 

[Leewilson]

Does it matter in this case that Sauron and Dumbledore are not middleweights? As in, will they be able to fight in them battles?

Edit: Same with Dova-whats his name in the lightweight.

 

[Stagat]

Stags to Rapture

 

[Munkiki]

Does it matter in this case that Sauron and Dumbledore are not middleweights? As in, will they be able to fight in them battles?

No it doesn't. They'll both be able to fight.

also, note: should any of the four extras lose, they won't lose HP/die ie the winner of the bonus fight will get whichever one of them they choose at their original stats.


3DD resurrect Pingu!

And give him 2 med-packs.

 

[Munkiki]

Kirk sets a course. The bonus fight at Rapture has been relocated to T6 HQ

T6 HQ
Bonus – winner receives one of Dovahkiin/Sauron/Albus Dumbledore/Eddard Stark (their choice) for free
£250,000
T6 vs 1 vs 1


Also, OAF to Winterfell

 

[Leewilson]

3DD to T6HQ

 

[Stagat]

Stags to T6HQ

 

[HarvSFC]

Pingu!

 

[Spirederman]

Kirk sets a course. The bonus fight at Rapture has been relocated to T6 HQ

T6 HQ
Bonus – winner receives one of Dovahkiin/Sauron/Albus Dumbledore/Eddard Stark (their choice) for free
£250,000
T6 vs 1 vs 1


Also, OAF to Winterfell

Brutal move there from 3DD

 

[markpvfc]

Just finally putting us out of our misery.

 

[Magic]

T6 have fought a game battle but it's time to turn up the heat on this mother. Every week it keeps twisting and turning with those snide bastards at Stags HQ. No mercy.

 

[Oaf]

Holy mother of god, I'm here for a deadline. It's been so long I don't even remember if I know how to do this.

Stag use a dice upgrade on The Flash and a Med Pack on Captain America.

 

[Oaf]

Stag just about squeeze in one more dice upgrade to The Flash before the deadline!

Final card:

Oblivion
Lightweight
Gene Hunt – 9BR 1HP 1D6 STAG vs Dovahkiin (14BR 3HP 1D6)

Gene Hunt equipped with Valyrian steel.

Orgrimmar
Lightweight
Death Match
Bulbasaur [Pokémon] – 8BR 3HP 1D6 3DD goes unopposed

Mount Doom
Middleweight
Death Match
Emile Heskey – 3BR 2HP 1D6 STAG vs Sauron (20BR 5HP 1D6)

Hogwarts
Middleweight
Double Dice
The Flash [Justice League] – 15BR 2HP 1D12 STAG vs Albus Dumbledore (16BR 3HP 1D6)

Winterfell
Heavyweight
Carl "CJ" Johnson [Grand Theft Auto] – 19BR 4HP 1D6 3DD vs Werewolf Wolverine [X-Men] – 20BR 1HP 1D12+1D10 OAF vs Eddard Stark (8BR 3HP 1D6)

CJ is equipped with the Golden Axe

Normandy Beach
Heavyweight
Death Match
Arya Stark – 3BR 3HP 1D6 STAG goes unopposed

Team 6 HQ
Bonus – winner receives one of Dovahkiin/Sauron/Albus Dumbledore/Eddard Stark (their choice) for free
£250,000
Katniss Everdeen – 12BR 1HP 1D6 T6 vs Pingu – 20BR 3HP 2D12 3DD vs Captain America [Avengers] – 20BR 3HP 2D12 STAG

Katniss gains 1BR from Mockingjay. Captain America equipped with Combat MG.

 

[Oaf]

Oblivion
Lightweight
Gene Hunt – 9BR 1HP 1D6 STAG vs Dovahkiin (14BR 3HP 1D6)

Try as he might, Gene Hunt didn’t stand a chance against a near perfect scoring Dovahkiin, who scored a 19 total out of a possible 20.

Orgrimmar
Lightweight
Death Match
Bulbasaur [Pokémon] – 8BR 3HP 1D6 3DD goes unopposed

Mount Doom
Middleweight
Death Match
Emile Heskey – 3BR 2HP 1D6 STAG vs Sauron (20BR 5HP 1D6)

Jeez, you talk about not standing a chance… Poor old Heskey, after mesmerising everybody with his step over last week, is absolutely destroyed by Sauron here.

Hogwarts
Middleweight
Double Dice
The Flash [Justice League] – 15BR 2HP 1D12 STAG vs Albus Dumbledore (16BR 3HP 1D6)

The Flash is able to hold off Hogwarts headmaster. Who needs magic when you’ve got silly amounts of speed? Those dice upgrades didn’t matter too much in the end, Albus rolled terribly.

Winterfell
Heavyweight
Carl "CJ" Johnson [Grand Theft Auto] – 19BR 4HP 1D6 3DD vs Werewolf Wolverine [X-Men] – 20BR 1HP 1D12+1D10 OAF vs Eddard Stark (8BR 3HP 1D6)

It seemed like the only one who wanted to win here was Eddard Stark as he scored about as well as he could while the other two did pretty poor by their standards. However, Wolverine was at such an advantage with his massive BR and dice that it didn’t matter in the end, and even scoring some poor scores he was able to overcome a valiant Eddard Stark. CJ did bad as well and wasn’t able to kill off Wolverine. Wolverine wins a poor fight.

Normandy Beach
Heavyweight
Death Match
Arya Stark – 3BR 3HP 1D6 STAG goes unoppose

Team 6 HQ
Bonus – winner receives one of Dovahkiin/Sauron/Albus Dumbledore/Eddard Stark (their choice) for free
£250,000
Katniss Everdeen – 12BR 1HP 1D6 T6 vs Pingu – 20BR 3HP 2D12 3DD vs Captain America [Avengers] – 20BR 3HP 2D12 STAG

All of T6’s hopes are on Katniss here, but she’s fighting an uphill battle against two superpowers in Pingu and Cap. She needs to pull off the upset of the game here, or T6 are gone…

Katniss came out firing, putting arrows in the general directions of Pingu straight away. Pingu was able to dance his way around them though, get up to Katniss, and HOOOONNNK right in her face to disorientate her. He then slapped her with his wing and as she turned around she got a face full of vibranium shield, cracking her teeth. Cap tried to use this moment of distraction to take a shot at Pingu, but Pingu was awake to the danger… he dodged Caps roundhouse kick and delivered one of his own, shattering Captain Americas skull. Cap and Katniss laid down at Pingus feet, near death.

Spoiler

Noot Noot mother fuckers.

Their deaths were not quick. Their deaths were not painless. Pingu took immense pleasure in slowly finishing off Katniss and Cap. Pingu wins.

Team 6 are eliminated from 1FF Wars!

And then there were 2...