Britain's Best City

[Pliny Harris]

Alright, that's enough facts for now.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

That's your lot for today. We have a tie for 5th place which will be announced tomorrow all being well.

Thanks for all the contributions so far.

 

[blade1889]

Alright, that's enough facts for now.

I lived with a Geography student who learnt about it in GCSE or ALevel or sumat. Would mention it all the time and it got contagious so now I do the same. Apologies. Oxford road traffic is awful though. And the buses are ridiculous.

 

[Look Out There Are Llamas]

Forget the rain, my view of Manchester is just cold. A bitter cold of death. Probably stemming from Oldham.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

Just a quick update on the standings with 6 cities still to be revealed.

 

[Pliny Harris]

Surprised St Andrews didn't feature in the end. It may only cover a few square feet of land, but it's tidy.

Forget the rain, my view of Manchester is just cold. A bitter cold of death. Probably stemming from Oldham.

I can't imagine Boundary Park in the summer sun. Is such a combination possible?

 

[smat]

One can find this stuff in most places in the UK, obviously, but not in this quantity, or on this scale, and worse still it's all wrapped up in a parochial braggadocio, a self-authored hagiography, a punchable parvenu pleading. This is ironic in two ways - firstly since Manchester is in fact anything but parvenu, and secondly since (a Owen Hatherley points out, IIRC) this predilection for self-mythologising seemed to begin exactly when the city ceased to have anything to proud of culturally. It's like Ravenbish telling everyone how suave, handsome, well paid and well endowed he is. It wasn't enough for Manchester to adopt retrograde mediocrities like the Gallagher brothers as avatars, the city had somehow metamorphosed into them as well, taking their shittiest, oafish and most belligerent characteristics and re-imagining them as a basis for city planning.

Omg, I put it on my shit list for this exact reason!

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

Nowhere in the UK better exemplifies the architectural and urbanistic atrocities of the Blair years than Manchester. My brother lived there for about a decade, and whenever I visited, entering via the man-made canyon of whatever that big road they've got there is, I felt like I was encroaching onto the set of a dystopian satire.

It's a city sized exhibit dedicated to the terrifying specimens of the Regeneration Boondoggle: Stunning city centre apartment developments! (aka shoebox sized flats for atomised professionals and, latterly, post-crash, the bleached skeletons of unfinished ones). Iconic Towers! (a trillion mid rises with twattily uneven roof lines and pox-like encrustations of asymmetrical cladding; stupid fucking name encouraged but not mandatory). Revitalised canal quarters! (once thriving sites of Victorian industry now full of Costa Coffees and detestable pubs named after the the type of worker who used to make a living there). Thrilling street art! (lobotomised shit, and/or, in the case of Thomas 'The New Da Vinci' Heatherwick's B of the Bang, shit actually capable of performing an accidental lobotomy). Affordable student apartments! (digs so parsimoniously constructed as to be barely fit for human habitation). Vibrant cultural attractions! (Museums already abandoned, shortly to be abandoned due to further funding cuts, or w/ a collection stretched so thin that one can't be entire sure if they're abandoned or not). State of the art sports facilities! (paid for by the public, now lining the pockets of plutocrats). And so on.

One can find this stuff in most places in the UK, obviously, but not in this quantity, or on this scale, and worse still it's all wrapped up in a parochial braggadocio, a self-authored hagiography, a punchable parvenu pleading. This is ironic in two ways - firstly since Manchester is in fact anything but parvenu, and secondly since (a Owen Hatherley points out, IIRC) this predilection for self-mythologising seemed to begin exactly when the city ceased to have anything to proud of culturally. It's like Ravenbish telling everyone how suave, handsome, well paid and well endowed he is. It wasn't enough for Manchester to adopt retrograde mediocrities like the Gallagher brothers as avatars, the city had somehow metamorphosed into them as well, taking their shittiest, oafish and most belligerent characteristics and re-imagining them as a basis for city planning.

I had always felt this way, and that there was something basically (and cliched-ly) Ballardian at work in the place, but the idea really crystallised when my brother went striding out of his farcically overpriced Castlefield flat one December, and slipped and fell on the ice covering the pointless bit of decking in the courtyard outside, suffering a fairly serious spiral fracture of his ankle that required surgery and about 3 months off work. Obviously on some level the incident was extremely amusing, but it also made the suspicion concrete - not satisfied with recreating the topography of late Ballard, Manchester had now replicated the treacherous immanence of early Ballard. The fabric of the city was actively maiming its inhabitants.

The Town Hall is good though, granted.

tldr

 

[Ebeneezer Goode]

sodosopa

 

[Camborne Gills]

What about those paragons of footballing excellence? Oldham and Bury that is of course

 

[Murphy]

Norwich: A fine city.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

Norwich: A fine city.

I wish my write ups were as good as this.

 

[Murphy]

I wish my write ups were as good as this.

 

[Krazy8]

I thought Rouen Koblenz Novisad was one place for a minute there, very misleading.

Also the sign could do with a bit of a spring clean if you get a minute Murphy

 

[johnnytodd]

I wish my write ups were as good as this.

don't we all

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

don't we all

I pitch them up, you bat them out of the park.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

There will be no updates on this today. I'm too fucking lazy to be bothered.

FARCE.

 

[johnnytodd]

If Liverpool comes 5th can i apply for special dispensation for us to come in top 4 ?...........UEFA let us once when we cried about it.
i knew i'd get that in someday.....

 

[Reginald Fodstain]

If Liverpool comes 5th can i apply for special dispensation for us to come in top 4 ?...........UEFA let us once when we cried about it.
i knew i'd get that in someday.....

Shame it was such a waste of time...

 

[Pliny Harris]

Norwich: A fine city.

Norfolk: The Wales of the East

 

[Magic]

FWIW Leeds is decent but seems to be getting better all the time. Doesn't have the culture or history imo though to threaten. Couldn't comment on rivalries as cities though. Liverpool is better than Manchester imo.

 

[hodge]

I hate Liverpool, namely for how shite it is to drive around.

 

[Veggie Legs]

Don't forget UNESCO World City of Literature, too.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

So here we have the two cities tied for fifth place and two corkers they are too. They've been robbed in truth!

5. Bath

C&B Opinion: A fabulously beautiful city, number 2 on my list

Description: Bath, Somerset, is in the valley of the River Avon. It used to to be called Aquae Sulis and is well known for its natural hot springs. Its most famous attraction is probably the very well preserved Roman Baths, presumably built for the good people of bath to cleanse themselves after a visit to nearby Bristol. Bath's city centre is also well known for its Georgian architecture with the Royal Crescent being perhaps the most famous of its buildings. I think I'd love to retire to Bath one day, simply stunning place.

Famous People: Mary Berry, Jacqueline Wilson

C&B Fact: I once had a day trip to Bath on a British Pullman train however because the city is now smoke-free, the steam train wasn't allowed in so we had to swap locomotives for an electric engine. What a geek!

5. York

C&B Opinion: Narrowly missed off my list. Another lovely city.

Description: Pretty obviously, York is in, and gives its name to Yorkshire. It is without doubt the prettiest of the Yorkshire cities with perhaps the richest history. York is home to the National Railway Museum where geeks and nerds can look at over 300 locomotives, a great day out if you own an anorak. The Cathedral, York Minster, dominates the city skyline and is one of the largest Gothic cathedrals in Europe.

Famous People: Guy Fawkes, Frankie Howerd

C&B Fact: York is known for its confectionery and is home to Rowntrees and Terry's. Kit Kats are probably the best known chocolate made in the city. 47 bars are eaten every second.

 

[Magic]

York's great. I don't go often enough considering it's half an hour away. Thought it might make the top 3 here.

Really need to visit some more cities down South. Barely been to any of these.

 

[Ciderhead]

5. Bath

View attachment 2921

C&B Opinion: A fabulously beautiful city, number 2 on my list

Description: Bath, Somerset, is in the valley of the River Avon. It used to to be called Aquae Sulis and is well known for its natural hot springs. Its most famous attraction is probably the very well preserved Roman Baths, presumably built for the good people of bath to cleanse themselves after a visit to nearby Bristol. Bath's city centre is also well known for its Georgian architecture with the Royal Crescent being perhaps the most famous of its buildings. I think I'd love to retire to Bath one day, simply stunning place.

Famous People: Mary Berry, Jacqueline Wilson

C&B Fact: I once had a day trip to Bath on a British Pullman train however because the city is now smoke-free, the steam train wasn't allowed in so we had to swap locomotives for an electric engine. What a geek!

Topped my list, pleasantly surprised to see it finish this high.

Spent a summer there a few years back and absolutely loved the place. Stunningly beautiful, such a rich culture and history, endless supply of bars and restaurants (and a surprisingly good nightlife in general), shopping, great atmosphere and close links to Ashton Gate. What more could you want from a place?

When I'm 30 and I've made my millions this is where I'll retreat

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

i've been to york three times, once when i was 5, once when i was 15 and last year when i was 25 and all three times i ended up violently horrifically ill. so fuck york

 

[Look Out There Are Llamas]

Given what's remaining, York and Bath should both have been top three places. Robbed.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

I'm planning for the top 4 to be released tonight, time permitting.

 

[Veggie Legs]

I didn't vote for either, but Bath and York are both worthy of their top five finishes.