The Sports Direct worst 50 1FF posters list

[spireite]

Relieved not to have appeared on this list if only to avoid Steady's withering write-up.

 

[Mr. Scruff]

Lets not start pretending posh didnt deserve this.

 

[Son of Cod]

I like PH but I lol'd at this, kudos whoever submitted it; 'The sorta bloke who wears his wifes nightie' -

Was also gonna quote that. Best thing I've read on here since Carel's (unfinished) Burton Beer Fest review.

Good work anyway, Steady. Those last three write ups were all gold.

 

[Posh Hammer]

He's not, no idea where people have got that idea from.

I like Posh and you can all get to fuck.

Steady said it, so it's gospel. If he continues to say it, then people start to believe it. Unfortunately, that's what has happened here.

 

[Posh Hammer]

2nd place (81 points, 11 lists)

The sorta bloke who wears his wifes nightie.
Narcissistic, misogynistic, idiotic, barely literate cockwomble.
Attention seeking prick, his posts in the best members thread were utterly nauseating.

Posh Hammer (10+10+10+10+10+9+8+6+4+3+1)

Dem 10s. That's right; Posh Hammer can now stop pretending he doesn't give a shit where he finishes in this list, as he's just pipped to the crown in second place.

You have absolutely NO IDEA how long I've been waiting for this. Pretty much the only reason I set this whole thing up all those years ago was to get a straight-up chance to jugular the fuck out of this bellend. Of course, remember that back then there was no genius idea such as a #ShoutboxFeud to help facilitate this, so this thread will simply have to do.

Hahahahha, do you fucking remember the ShoutboxFeud stuff?! Christ.

Anyway, the guy is an absolute twatguzzle. As far as misogynist homophobes with absolutely no self-awareness go, Posh certainly ranks amongst the worst. Of course, he'll hide behind his brilliant guise of meterosexuality (ooo, I was a trolly-dolly, ooo, look at my hair, I obviously love the gays!) but the mask has well and truly slipped. We have all now seen Posh for what he is. The muggiest of mugs.

Rarely seen in the football forums, Posh is a particular menace of General Chat. Be it in Sheep where he's being an insufferable c***, or be it him presenting another genius idea (first Shoutbox Feuds event is July 3rd, in case you were wondering), he doesn't change his tune. A derisory joke about homosexuality here, a reference to his maid there, the Posh Hammer formula is a successful one.

I never really minded Posh over on TFF (he was on there, I think), he was just one of a number of nuisances. Upon the changeover though, he grabbed his chance. In the forums infancy he initiated an attempt to become relevant. In the feelgood nature of the forums early days, it actually worked, of course. The top posters list was compiled shortly thereafter, and he somehow came joint 10th. He came joint fucking 10th. If Saddlerrad had shut the forum down there and then I think we'd have all understood. How everyone allowed him to be voted among the top 10 best posters on this forum is fucking despicable and I know I am still hanging my head in shame. You should be too.

And it was his content in that thread which properly evolved him into 'top mug' status. "I'd be delighted to even get a single vote," he started, despite knowing full well plenty had already been persuaded to vote for him simply because he voted for them (you know who you are, you new clique ruffians).

But he didn't stop there. The countdown reached the top 50, and Posh continued: "OMG I'D LOVE IT IF I FINISHED IN THE TOP 50."

Time passed, posters fell. To my dismay, I finished joint 18th, with Posh Hammer's name still not having been revealed. They were dark days in the Steady household, with my ratio nowhere near infamy at this stage.

"There's no chance I'm finishing in the top 50," the c*** opined. "Just fuck off," everyone else thought. Some, thankfully, did so out loud.

Eventually of course, Posh was named. "Thank you so much guys I love you all remember I've got an attractive wife and I live in Dubai btw". The sorriest chapter in 1FF's history was closed before the forum had even really began. The pathetic pandering, the faux-surprise, the ridiculous being-a-massive-bellendishness. Posh Hammer in that thread was Posh Hammer at his very, very worst. Ladies and gentlemen. He is your second biggest mug on 1FF.​

Ratio: 0.46. Just like Nigel Farage, Posh is learning that misogyny and homophobia gets you places in the modern world. Good lad.

Happy with that write up. Twatguzzle is a fantastic word

Couple of things though. You can't quote people, with things that they never actually said. You've quoted me 4 times, and I didn't actually say any of them. But if Steady says it, it must be true.

Funny how you haven't pulled out any of these misogynistic and homophobic quotes though.

I'm a little disappointed to not get top spot in the end, however I got the most tens and that's enough to feed my narcissism!

 

[Cardsfan]

Excellent job Steady, the write-ups towards the end were genius.

 

[UTS]

Great news, I'm the best at being the worst. Pretty tame write up too, was expecting better.

 

[mistermagic]

So the most hated guy on here has posted only once?

Pagnell should have won that and Posh is a good guy. Greeat work Steady, a lot of time must have through the write-ups to entertain us I'm sure.

 

[Meadow]

So the most hated guy on here has posted only once?

Pagnell should have won that and Posh is a good guy. Greeat work Steady, a lot of time must have through the write-ups to entertain us I'm sure.

His previous account was deleted a couple of days ago.

 

[JimJams]

Is it Up The Shitter?

 

[The Hand of Dom]

So the most hated guy on here has posted only once?

Pagnell should have won that and Posh is a good guy. Greeat work Steady, a lot of time must have through the write-ups to entertain us I'm sure.

He insisted his account was deleted.

Then signed up under a new account, with the same name, and same avatar.

Sums up why he's a bit of a c***, really.

 

[JJH]

So the most hated guy on here has posted only once?

Pagnell should have won that and Posh is a good guy. Greeat work Steady, a lot of time must have through the write-ups to entertain us I'm sure.

He had 'better things to do' than post on here, despite signing up again a day later.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

I notice supporter status hasn't been given back to him either.

 

[Spirederman]

Those last write ups were absolute fucking genius.

So many new insults have come from this.
Twatguzzle,Shitcrumple,Shitcactus, Stranglewanker, all great stuff.

Posh didn't make my list, I like the guy, but UTS was my 10 pointer. It's just a shame Steady stopped short of giving my full reason

Brilliant thread, surely deserves a place in the archives.

 

[TomPNE94]

Those last write ups were absolute fucking genius.

So many new insults have come from this.
Twatguzzle,Shitcrumple,Shitcactus, Stranglewanker, all great stuff.

Posh didn't make my list, I like the guy, but UTS was my 10 pointer. It's just a shame Steady stopped short of giving my full reason

Brilliant thread, surely deserves a place in the archives.

It'll be moved in a couple of days.

 

[Spirederman]

I notice supporter status hasn't been given back to him either.

Why should it, it's a new account?

 

[thespus]

Two Liverpool fans in the top four. Good thing Steady managed this instead of Rodgers.

 

[Mr Elmo]

Two Liverpool fans in the top four. Good thing Steady managed this instead of Rodgers.

If Rodgers were to do it, he'd bang on all the time about how the two have 'character'

 

[Mustard]

Having failed to accumulate a single vote in both the best and worst 1FF poster lists, may I propose a new '1FF top 50 most unremarkable posters' competition to pick up the rest of us.

 

[spireite]

Having failed to accumulate a single vote in both the best and worst 1FF poster lists, may I propose a new '1FF top 50 most unremarkable posters' competition to pick up the rest of us.

'1FF's Inbetweeners'

 

[UTS]

I really don't think I deserve 1st, let's be honest.

 

[spireite]

I really don't think I deserve 1st, let's be honest.

 

[Ebeneezer Goode]

I really don't think I deserve 1st, let's be honest.

Your first two posts must have an unbelievable concentration of cuntosity.

 

[JimJams]

Having failed to accumulate a single vote in both the best and worst 1FF poster lists, may I propose a new '1FF top 50 most unremarkable posters' competition to pick up the rest of us.

Yeah we could make our own:

 

[lordofthepies]

I'd be certain for a mid-table finish in a most unremarkable list.

 

[Munkiki]

Having failed to accumulate a single vote in both the best and worst 1FF poster lists, may I propose a new '1FF top 50 most unremarkable posters' competition to pick up the rest of us.

Would need a different approach. Presumably to be considered "unremarkable" people mustn't notice you but if people don't notice you, they can't vote for you. Most posts without getting recognition on either list might be a good start...

Spoiler: Unremarkable Top 50

1. blade1889 (1496)
2. markwwfc1992 (993)
3. Libertadores FC (950)
4. Super_horns (819)
5. Bobbin' (772)
6. rudebwoyben (754)
7. Mr Elmo (752)
8. JimJams (704)
9. BCFC Jordan (700)
10. Frealaf (695)
11. daviejones (630)
12. Habbinalan (622)
13. Aaron-Bcfc (619)
14. GTFC1979 (589)
15. Dazza (582)
16. Techno Natch (569)
17. Sparrow (549)
18. Madejski (544)
19. cufc17 (543)
20. Christian Slater (537)
21. PUSBCCFC (532)
22. Crewelad87 (512)
23. MagpieBee (485)
24. Agombar stool (484)
25. joethegill (483)
26. spireite_uk (475)
27. The_Boss (453)
28. Mustard (444)
29. Davidimp (435)
30. Pyeman (419)
31. Vanni (419)
32. BeesKnees (414)
33. Smally (406)
34. Big Bird (405)
35. Hooped Wizard (402)
36. NiallQuinnDiscoPants (402)
37. Urban (388)
38. City169 (387)
39. JJ1532 (387)
40. EricSabin (383)
41. Hurrikeen (381)
42. Look Out There Are Llamas (366)
43. BetterCallSaul (352)
44. Judge Dredd (349)
45. Chris FGR (341)
46. slaphead (340)
47. Harrier94 (338)
48. LuSiVe (334)
49. Southern Shayman (333)
50. BCFC David (329)

 

[Posh Hammer]

I'd be certain for a mid-table finish in a most unremarkable list.

I have no idea who you are, so probably.

 

[mnb089mnb]

I'd be certain for a mid-table finish in a most unremarkable list.

Consolidate in the most unremarkable list for a few seasons. Then fire out a few slightly homophobic and misogynistic posts over a weekend and earn yourself a solid spot in the top 20 of the liked crowd and the top 10 of the unliked crowd.

Classic.

 

[Steady]

Well, it looks like Munkiki is being a little bit selfish and won't collate some random stats concerning the top mugs list, so fine, here are some little tidbits...

118 - More people were voted ' top mugs' (118), than 'top posters' (97), despite the latter receiving two more lists (32 to 30). Hateful.

1 - G.B was the only member to receive just one point in both the 'top mugs' and 'top posters' lists. Howay.

18 - Of the 50 'top posters' 18 did not receive a single vote in any 'top mugs' list. Veggie Legs was the highest of such posters, finishing as the 5th best. Loved.

Spoiler: The rest...

(Veggie Legs, Son of Cod, Scumarmy., Renegade, mnb089mnb, last request, Stagat, JonBCFC, The Paranoid Pineapple, Jockney, Captain Scumbag, shoddycollins, TAFKAMH, mistermagic, yellow, merseyboyred, Paddy, EvertonPaul)

21 - Of the 50 'top mugs', 21 did not receive a single vote in any 'top posters' list. Cashis was the highest of such posters, finishing as the 7th biggest mug. Bonafide.

Spoiler: The rest...

(Cashis, Dave, SERNWA, Silkyman, dale4ever, SC49, G-Dragon, Indian Dan, Blademan89, WhatShouldWeDoAboutKevin?, Pilgrim Meister, Valefan16, Kenneth E End, Firthy, Whitechapel, Shrimpurh, glasshalffullpools, MacZidane, Sire Spireite, Cheese & Biscuits, TrinidadsNumberOne)

2 - Just two of the 11 members of staff on 1FF avoided votes for the 'top mugs' list: DarkSithLord and AFCB_Mark . Indicative.

0 - No two posters voted each other 'top mug' in their respective lists (apart from Aberstone voting for that mug Aberstone ). smat and Posh Hammer came closest, Smat voting Posh top mug and Posh voting Smat 2nd. Feud.

5 - Posh Hammer picked up the most 10-pointers in the mugs list, narrowly beating UTS (3). Misogynist.

117 - Of the 118 posters nominated, Bottega Don was the only one who was never present on TFF. Lol.

96 - The points tally of top mug UTS was equal only to third-placed TomPNE94 's haul in the top posters list. RIPYNWA.

9 - Liverpool had the largest representation in the biggest mugs list, with their nine fans named narrowly beating Bristol City's eight. Fitting.

Spoiler: Full table

Liverpool 9
Bristol City 8
Mansfield 5
Preston 5
Swindon 5
Arsenal 4
Chelsea 4
Port Vale 4
Aston Villa 3
Chesterfield 3
Dagenham & Redbridge 3
Newcastle 3
Peterborough 3
Wimbledon 3
Bradford 2
Bristol Rovers 2
Bury 2
Carlisle 2
Hull 2
Luton 2
Manchester United 2
Norwich 2
Oxford 2
Plymouth 2
Aberdeen 1
Altrincham 1
Barnsley 1
Blackpool 1
Coventry 1
Crewe 1
Crystal Palace 1
Derby 1
England 1
Everton 1
Gillingham 1
Grimsby 1
Halifax 1
Hartlepool 1
Ipswich 1
Leeds 1
Leyton Orient 1
Lincoln 1
Macclesfield 1
Manchester City 1
MK Dons 1
Notts County 1
Pro Vercelli 1
Rochdale 1
Rotherham 1
Scotland 1
Scunthorpe 1
Sheffield United 1
Sheffield Wednesday 1
Southampton 1
Southend 1
Swansea 1
thisgreat new forum ! 1
Tottenham 1
Tranmere 1
Walsall 1
Wealdstone 1
Woking 1
Wrexham 1
Wycombe 1

 

[Steady]

And, of course, the top mugs lists in all its glory:

112= G.B (1 points)
112= Godsgift (1 points)
112= HarvSFC (1 points)
112= Munkiki (1 points)
112= Ian Wrexham (1 points)
112= StagsForLife (1 points)
112= Stevencc (1 points)
104= Aidan Pritchard (2 points)
104= Cas (2 points)
104= Gilly (2 points)
104= Hand of Dom (2 points)
104= Spear (2 points)
104= The Terminator (2 points)
104= Villaboy (2 points)
104= worried womble (2 points)
91= Aber Gas (3 points)
91= Bacchus (3 points)
91= Dan Phillips (3 points)
91= Dave-Vale (3 points)
91= Eski Boi (3 points)
91= hodge (3 points)
91= JJH (3 points)
91= mase (3 points)
91= Mowgli (3 points)
91= SUTSS (3 points)
91= TRFC ON TOUR (3 points)
91= WH-Stag (3 points)
91= Womble (3 points)
89= Lambourn Red (3 points)
89= Tilbury (3 points)
83= Abertawe (4 points)
83= Bentos (4 points)
83= Hellogregory (4 points)
83= Humongous Fungus (4 points)
83= Pleg (4 points)
83= PrestonCha (4 points)
79= Adrian Durham (5 points)
79= Allouso (5 points)
79= Smudge (5 points)
79= TractorBoys (5 points)
78. Skinner (5 points)
77. Alty (5 points)
72= BlueBee (6 points)
72= Daveyjames (6 points)
72= JaseTheVillian (6 points)
72= Old Parkender (6 points)
72= ZianfrancoGoal (6 points)
70= Ciderhead96 (6 points)
70= Oakroader (6 points)
69. Livercool (6 points)
62= B2TF (7 points)
62= BigDaveCUFC (7 points)
62= Craig (7 points)
62= Ian (7 points)
62= John Locke (7 points)
62= MorDon (7 points)
62= TTOCS (7 points)
59= Ciderup (8 points)
59= Satch (8 points)
59= Scrumpy (8 points)
57= Bilo (8 points)
57= Richard Cranium (8 points)
52= Heisenberg20 (9 points)
52= Murphy (9 points)
52= OxTid (9 points)
52= Relentless (9 points)
52= Seaside Kurt (9 points)
50= Bottega Don (9 points)
50= Pontoonlew (9 points)
48= Cheese and Biscuits (9 points)
48= TrinidadsNumberOne (9 points)
42= Aberstone (10 points)
42= glasshalffullpools (10 points)
42= MacZidane (10 points)
42= Sire Spireite (10 points)
42= T.A (10 points)
42= Thespus (10 points)
41. Leewilson (10 points)
40. departed user (11 points)
39. Spirederman (11 points)
38. Shrimpurh (12 points)
37. TheGas (12 points)
36. Whitechapel (12 points)
35. Firthy (12 points)
34. Kenneth E End (13 points)
33. Valefan16 (14 points)
32. Pilgrim Meister (14 points)
31. WhatShouldWeDoAboutKevin? (14 points)
30. Blademan89 (16 points)
29. AdamStag (16 points)
28. Destruction (19 points)
27. Smat (19 points)
26. SF_ (19 points)
25. IndianDan (21 points)
24. This Charming Mike (21 points)
23. G-Dragon (24 points)
22. Saddlerrad (24 points)
21. SC49 (25 points)
20. dale4ever (25 points)
19. Rammy (25 points)
18. Oaf (27 points)
17. TomPNE94 (27 points)
16. Silkyman (31 points)
15. StevieEvansRedNWhiteArmy (32 points)
14. Martino Knockavelli (32 points)
13. Dave (33 points)
12. Red (34 points)
11. JoeJoeJoeJoe (34 points)
10. Walkley_Owl (36 points)
9. Ebeneezer Goode (40 points)
8. Steady (42 points)
7. Cashis (45 points)
6. Cardsfan (60 points)
5. RavenBish (61 points)
4. Saltire (67 points)
3. Pagnell (78 points)
2. Posh Hammer (81 points)
1. UTS (96 points)

Been an absolute pleasure. Ta-ra.