You Know You're a Non-League Team When...

[yellow]

Is the assumption that you will get Eastleigh over Christmas?

Yeah it looks likely. I think I'd rather have a winter break.

 

[Seventyseven]

....when the best bit of news you get about your club is that Ronan Keating's nephew has signed a deal for next season.....(mind you, he's a bloody good player... for us anyway)

 

[Luke Imp]

When these appear all around your Stadium.

 

[Railway Blue]

The players from the team you are playing refuse to get on the coach to an away game because they haven't been paid. Following this the club goes into liquidation, reforms and spends several years trying to get back to where they were when this all happened.

(I won't win too many friends amongst their rivals but I was sad when Chester folded, but pleased for their long-suffering fans when the club reformed and made it back to the Conference National)

....and have now lost 11 consecutive games to a "village" team.

 

[Railway Blue]

The players from the team you are playing refuse to get on the coach to an away game because they haven't been paid. Following this the club goes into liquidation, reforms and spends several years trying to get back to where they were when this all happened.

(I won't win too many friends amongst their rivals but I was sad when Chester folded, but pleased for their long-suffering fans when the club reformed and made it back to the Conference National)

............. and lose 11 consecutive games to a "village " bank-rolled team.

 

[Railway Blue]

The players from the team you are playing refuse to get on the coach to an away game because they haven't been paid. Following this the club goes into liquidation, reforms and spends several years trying to get back to where they were when this all happened.

(I won't win too many friends amongst their rivals but I was sad when Chester folded, but pleased for their long-suffering fans when the club reformed and made it back to the Conference National)

and then lose 9 consecutive games to a "village" bank-rolled team.

 

[Spiral Stairs]

When these appear all around your Stadium.

You mean signs in Comic Sans?

 

[Pliny Harris]

When online outcry over the poor "matchday experience" at your club for Conference North level football is finally responded to... by putting on a halftime show featuring the Mixenden Majorettes hitting bin lids with slippers.

 

[DontBringBertie]

and then lose 9 consecutive games to a "village" bank-rolled team.

Is there an echo?

 

[Farleigh]

You know you're non league when forum users argue passionately for page after page about the true number of away fans for some random fixture.

 

[Jemfy]

You know you're non league when forum users argue passionately for page after page about the true number of away fans for some random fixture.

I've seen it on the league forums, the difference really is in the number of digits. Sometime whether it hit 2 digits.

 

[Farleigh]

You know you're non league when you're being patronised by Premier League fans and London media outlets.

 

[Monkey Tennis]

You know you're non league when you're being patronised by Premier League fans and London media outlets.

Doesn't that happen to every club outside the Premier League? (And even the occasional PL side like Blackpool and Burnley get patronised for being "plucky" or putting in "workman-like" performances)

 

[Pablosammy]

You know you're non league when you're being patronised by Premier League fans and London media outlets.

We were still being patronised when we were in old Div 1. Unfortunately, some fans and media outlets can't see anything beyond the Premiership.

When you stop being patronised, you know that either a) you've made it or b) you've disappeared into total obscurity.

 

[E10rifle]

When you are so massive BT Sport picks you to get giant killed in front of the nation on the opening day.

 

[Semi-skimmed Silk]

When one of your players storms off the pitch in a huff and you have to sub someone who'd already played back on.

 

[chief]

When you can see the whole opposition team's pitch from your coach when driving past their ground.

 

[GarthK_HYUFC]

People think you support a tube station.

I get people mixing the club up with Hayes and Harlington all the time...not tube station but still a train station!

 

[GarthK_HYUFC]

When you sit round in July awaiting the FA Cup Preliminary Round Draw....getting the exact same team out of 700-Odd clubs as the previous season...in our case (Sun Postal Sports if they beat Brimscombe & Thrupp)

An FA Cup game against the opponents who say it's the biggest game in the club's history and it's only the 1st Qualifying Round.

When your shirt sponsors decide they'll be building houses on your ground next season, ironically leaving the club homeless for the next 6+ years.

Being told in December the Safety Certificate Application has been sent off..we expect approval in the next 40 days...Come July.."We are hoping for some good news in the coming weeks"....well that's been a long fucking 40 days!

I'll stop there before I go into rage about Hayes and Yeading

 

[SomeMightShay]

...When your pre-season against your local football league neighbours has to now be played behind closed doors on police advice!

 

[Tranmerewhite]

When you buy a season ticket and tickets for most away games, but attending matches feels like punishment for when you complained about not beating Manchester City in the league.

 

[fantstone]

when everyone notices there's 3 police officers at the game instead of 1.

 

[GTFCfish]

You know you're a non league team when you score a goal and turn to taunt the away fans, but there aren't any.

 

[Farleigh]

...When your pre-season against your local football league neighbours has to now be played behind closed doors on police advice!

It is an outrageous decision by local police.

http://www.thetelegraphandargus.co....e_played_behind_closed_doors/#comments-anchor

It is a dangerous precedent that should be challenged.

 

[Darlo On Tour]

When you've traveled all the way down to Barwell on a miserable rainy day and tasted the famous Barwell burgers. Yummy!!!

 

[Luke Imp]

Saw this doing the rounds on Twitter last night, but a thread bump for the Chesterfield fans.

 

[B2TF]

Teams start to turn up at your ground with more players than fans.
You take a hundred fans to an away game and outnumber the home fans.
A player with a beer belly scores a hattrick against you.
The referee gives everything to the away team at your home games because he wants to show the assessors he's ready for Old Trafford now.
The referee gives everything to the home team at your away games because, well your fans and players are just too cocky for his liking.
The away teams celebrate as though they've won the European Cup when they win at your ground.

 

[Master D]

When you discover there’s something called a ‘Vanarama National League BANTER’ page.

 

[Master D]

FAO Southend.

 

[Pie and chips]

You know when you are in non league when you get a a4 size sheet of paper for a match ticket