1FF Wars 3.5

[Techno Natch]

Well played NK definitely made a game of it.

 

[Dave]

Yeah, well played Harv, bit of a c*** move at the end though.

 

[HarvSFC]

Sorry, had to use up our remaining items.

May the best team now win.

 

[Leewilson]

Well played NK, especially Harv and Ciderhead. There was one point where I had you down as the favourites when you had Nessie etc, but your bigger characters just didn't quite come off with you.

Had Galactus been able to use World Eater, things may have been very different (thank goodness for Master Chief the 2nd time round).

 

[HarvSFC]

We had Nessie (twice), Iron Man, Stay Puft and Galactus all take out by Tiger Knee. Terrible.

 

[Leewilson]

We had Nessie (twice), Iron Man, Stay Puft and Galactus all take out by Tiger Knee. Terrible.

Your biggest mistake for me was not using your assassin contract on Jaqen or Bison. All Batman had was Fear which was a 60% chance of stopping someone entering a fight and that power where he kills someone but leaves your team. Bison charging Sagat all the time was lethal.

 

[SUTSS]

MLM -
win 100k,
gain skellige,
sagat gains 1br,
Geralt loses 2HP

NK -
Eliminated

TTT -
gain 50k,
bane loses 1hp,
Corvo gains 1BR,
gain 200k,
gain NK HQ (Trophy),
Esk gains 2BR,
Gain Sands of Time
Gain Blades of Chaos
Gain Ride of the Valkyries

 

[Leewilson]

MLM -
Geralt loses 1hps

It was a death match wasn't it?

 

[SUTSS]

Yes it was. Updating now.

 

[SUTSS]

MLM's base is being attacked.

Damage is taken by
Frickin' Shark
Troll
Sagat
Pikachu
Scott Pilgrim

 

[SUTSS]

The Special Week is a blind auction. Each team has 250 counters. They can bid these counters on one of 5 characters. These characters are all new to Wars and you will only get their names (They will each join your team without wages).

There are 3 ways to increase your number of counters. You must enter all.

A rap battle between the two teams (an epic re-match) worth an additional 50 counters
A death match worth an additional 100 counters
And a multi sport accumulator where the winner will gain 150 additional counters.

The characters are:

Krusty the Clown

Ed Balls

John Luther

Steve the Pirate

Gob Bluth

For the multi sport accumulator you will need to predict the scores for the following games, you get 1 point for a correct outcome, 3 for a correct score.

Bath v Saracens
Wisconsin Badgers v Florida Atlantic Owls
Norwich City v Burton Albion
Stage 8 Tour of Britain - 3 points for winner, 1 point for top 10 finish.
West Ham v Huddersfield
Celta Vigo v Alaves
Vancouver White Caps v Real Salt Lake
Green Bay Packers v Seattle Seahawks
San Marino Motogp - 3 points for winner, 1 point for podium finish
Newmarket Town v Wroxham FC


The deadline for the sport accumulator is 9pm Friday. You must bold it before this team in your PMs. You then must post it in the thread shortly after the deadline. Any alterations between PM and thread will see points docked (looking at you Dave).

Rap and character for death match must be decided by 23:59pm Tuesday (12th).

You will then have a short window to place your counters.

 

[SUTSS]

The tie break for the accumulator must also be entered by the deadline but doesn't need to be put in the main thread.

The tie break is the amount of goals scored by Championship teams between Saturday and Tuesday inclusive.

 

[SUTSS]

Master Chief begins to drain Tony Sopranos ability.

 

[SUTSS]

300 word limit on the rap

 

[Dave]

Any alterations between PM and thread will see points docked (looking at you Dave).

 

[Dave]

Lee, Celta are massive favourites v Alaves now. I think we should change that to a home victory.

 

[Leewilson]

Lee, Celta are massive favourites v Alaves now. I think we should change that to a home victory.

Think you got the wrong thread mate

 

[Dave]

Sweet. Fucked that up

Bath 10-30 Saracens
Wisconsin 42-24 Florida
Norwich 2-1 Burton
Tour of Britain - Elia Viviani
West Ham 1-0 Huddersfield
Celta Vigo 1-1 Alaves
Vancouver 2-1 Salt Lake
Greenbay Packers 24-17 Seattle Seahawks
San Marino motogp - Marc Márquez
Newmarket Town 2-1 Wrexham

 

[Spirederman]

Bath v Saracens 33-20
Wisconsin Badgers v Florida Atlantic Owls 60-27
Norwich City v Burton Albion 1-1
Stage 8 Tour of Britain - 3 points for winner, 1 point for top 10 finish - Cavendish
West Ham v Huddersfield 2-1
Celta Vigo v Alaves 2-2
Vancouver White Caps v Real Salt Lake 2-0
Green Bay Packers v Seattle Seahawks 17-10
San Marino Motogp - Marquez
Newmarket Town v Wroxham 2-2

 

[Spirederman]

Hahaha both gone for Packers by 7

 

[Dave]

Hahaha both gone for Packers by 7

Poor prediction it seems!

 

[Spirederman]

Poor prediction it seems!

We were only a point out!!!

 

[Spirederman]

I have us just winning the acca... Hopefully this will be followed by a win in the Rap Battle!!

 

[Dave]

I have us just winning the acca... Hopefully this will be followed by a win in the Rap Battle!!

I make it 9-9 in the acca?

 

[Spirederman]

 

[HarvSFC]

He's remembered what life was like before running this game, he isn't coming back.

 

[Techno Natch]

I think he's still on holiday.

 

[SUTSS]

I am back! I've just been fairly busy since being back and using my spare time to catch up on lost sleep.

Tomorrow, we'll get going again!

 

[SUTSS]

The raps:

Team Tennis Twat,
A T-T-T-riumvirate of pricks,
Gonna get real bus'up
When they hear our badman mix.

Dave stalks poor folk on Facebook,
Proper Fuckin Creep,
Well let these word sink in ya cùnt
Read, failed dad and weep.
He really can't commit,
Cos of wife n 2 bin lids,
Yet he's not fit to be a father,
To those poor neglected kids.

Lee is just a permacunt,
With a racquet in his hand,
His teammates still defend him,
Let us help you understand.

He follows Daggers for a start,
Non league, tinpot pile of shit,
So when MLM go looking,
This sideman gets bust up and split.

Then that leads us onto nicely..
The non-entity Magpiebee,
We hear cries from long time members,
What? Who the fuck is he?

Well let us tell you all,
This twat's less memorable than a banker,
And a clue is in his username,
He's a mixed up 2 team wanker.

So now as a collective,
Let's sum the fuckers up,
A team a full weight knobbers,
You judges already know wassup!!

Dave is just a weirdo,
Wilson's just a prick,
MagpieBen or MuggishBee (God knows?)
His name won't fuckin stick!

So make your choice,
And to the bin,
Tennis Twats condemn,
Award this battle rightly,
To the boys of MLM.

Bbbrrrraappp Bbbrrrraappp.

Here we go again, up step the TTT
Once again out to destroy the MLM 3
Spirederman, Oaf and technonatch,
Don’t fucking rap this like a tennis match!

First up we’re against the previous host,
Never to be seen he’s like a fucking ghost,
Far too busy wanking over wrasslin,
He’s just a 1ff wars has-been.

TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO natch,
Got stoned and killed Superman in a death match.
Can't trust this weed merchant to lead the team,
Useless druggy twat to the extreme.

Finally we have the 1ff wars clown,
Already killed OCD and had a breakdown,
Always about him, he thinks it’s a witch hunt,
But it’s just that he’s a fucking gormless c***.

Early doors, you bolstered your squad,
In true MLM fashion though, you blew your wad,
Stagnating and simmering like a cesspit,
NK and TTT delivering hit after hit.

Gary Oak, favouring the handicap match,
Shame he didn't see Creeper and a poisonous batch
Week after week, Jaqen's new face, trying to fool,
But you didn't count on Batman's 'One Rule',

Moving now into the final weeks,
We're going to cause you more chaos just like a Meeseeks,
Thanks to our skill and your many flaws,
It's time to proclaim us the 'Champions of 1FF Wars'.

The winner, by split decision, is...

Spoiler

TEAM TENNIS TWAT

 

[SUTSS]

I've added it up a couple of times and I make it an MLM win in the acca. Possibly I'm seeing an old result somewhere, show me where I'm wrong Dave!