1FF Wars

[Leewilson]

I'm guessing that's a mistake since the most expensive characters in the game are £2m

No way you can do these set of results Munks? I'm guessing Oaf wants to but I'm bored.

 

[Carver]

What characters? How does an internet forum play a fighting game?

 

[Munkiki]

GNC give Gandalf standard armor and Wolverine heavy armor. (apologies for the Americanisation but they're from Ammu-Nation so y'know...)

Captain America is given a dice upgrade.

GNC get this bad boy out...

... and aim it at...

 

[Munkiki]

Spoiler

it turns out none of them are adequately trained to operate the heavy weapon and struggle to find their target...

... the rocket flies harmlessly past Captain American and obliterates a nearby disused barn.

 

[HarvSFC]

However Shadow Link was chilling in the barn, and is now dead.

 

[Leewilson]

Oh dear. What was it a 50/50 chance of killing someone?

 

[Munkiki]

really thought that could be the turning point but I guess when your luck's out, your luck's out.

 

[HarvSFC]

Oh dear. What was it a 50/50 chance of killing someone?

Yeah, Link was obviously unavailable to be targeted.

 

[Magic]

Your Time Turner also concerns me for some reason. What it does I've no idea, but the name would suggest you could either fast forward something or roll back the clock.

It takes us back to a time when you were good at forum games.

 

[Munkiki]

No way you can do these set of results Munks? I'm guessing Oaf wants to but I'm bored.

if I'd have known Oaf wasn't going to show (again ), I'd have come online earlier and done them. I don't have the time now, I'm afraid. I could post the finalised fight card but that's it.

 

[Leewilson]

if I'd have known Oaf wasn't going to show (again ), I'd have come online earlier and done them. I don't have the time now, I'm afraid. I could post the finalised fight card but that's it.

That'd be something. Post Uncharted Oaf can come and grovel later before doing the results (if he actually shows before Thursday).

 

[last request]

Ah, so that's what it means when he says he was "working"!

He didn't post results in the last season on one particular occasion, choosing to play Mario Kart 8 instead. Just glad that everyone is now seeing him in his true form aka the one true Jinder.

 

[Spirederman]

We feared that, and were disappointed when it was revealed that a 300k outlay had only a 50% chance of being successful.

No meltdown here lads.

I'm good and as affable as ever, wot wot old bean.

 

[The Hand of Dom]

#OafOut

 

[Oaf]

Man, I only wish that Uncharted was my reasoning for not being here... but alas, I've had the fucking game since Saturday and have about an hour of play time.

But no, I've just been busy with other things. And this is set to continue as I'm off to work very shortly (yeah, no update now, either) for the rest of the day...

I'm only here now to give a brief update and to give some false hope.

 

[Oaf]

ALSO.

With the Civil War, some teams have said which character they'd like to go onto each side, while others haven't. This is fine, as characters will be randomly assigned if no preference is made... however, if there is one prize you'd rather have than the other, maybe you'd want a chance to choose which character to put in which fight. So as I can't update anyway now, we'll give a little more time for people to say which character they'd like on which team for the Civil War...

I'll set a deadline of 12 noon tomorrow. This gives people time to make that decision, while not making me look so bad for not being able to update the thread tonight. EVERYBODY WINS! But yeah, if no preference is stated by then, characters will be assigned randomly.

 

[HarvSFC]

ALSO.

With the Civil War, some teams have said which character they'd like to go onto each side, while others haven't. This is fine, as characters will be randomly assigned if no preference is made... however, if there is one prize you'd rather have than the other, maybe you'd want a chance to choose which character to put in which fight. So as I can't update anyway now, we'll give a little more time for people to say which character they'd like on which team for the Civil War...

I'll set a deadline of 12 noon tomorrow. This gives people time to make that decision, while not making me look so bad for not being able to update the thread tonight. EVERYBODY WINS! But yeah, if no preference is stated by then, characters will be assigned randomly.

No flexibility on the deadlines, please.

 

[last request]

SBF - Pokemon Stadium

 

[Oaf]

Oi you cheeky bastard that was an extension for picking sides for the civil war, not to grab more fight card spots.

Wait, I'm here 15 minutes before a deadline? DA FUCK. I'd better fuck off for another 4 or 5 hours just to keep up appearances.

 

[Oaf]

Hogwarts
Lightweight
Kyle Broflovski – 6BR 3HP 1D6 (GNC) vs Charmander – 8BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD)

Mt Olympus
Lightweight
Butters Stotch – 7BR 3HP 1D6 (GNC) vs Magic Broom – 6BR 1HP 1D6 (T6) vs No eligible characters (OAF)

Pokemon Stadium
Dice only
Lightweight
The Undertaker – 10BR 3HP 1D6 (STAG) go unopposed

Quahog
Middleweight
Hulk Hogan – 11BR 2HP 1D6 & Walter White – 3BR 3HP 1D4 (T6) vs Kevin McCallister w/the Golden Axe – 14BR 3HP 1D10 & Carl "CJ" Johnson w/Portal Gun – 14BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD)

Wonderland
Middleweight
Dancing Milk Carton – 1BR 3HP 1D4 (GNC) vs Simba – 12BR 1HP 1D6 (SBF)

Rapture
Middleweight
Jafar w/Combat MG – 17BR 2HP 1D6 (GNC) vs Sterling Archer – 8BR 3HP 1D6 (T6)

WWE Arena
Death Match
Heavyweight
RoboCop Elsa – 20BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Shade of Link – 20BR n/aHP 1D12+1D6 (STAG)

Nostromo
Death Match
Heavyweight
Predator – 20BR 1HP 1D6 (GNC) goes unopposed

Oblivion
Heavyweight
Gandalf w/Valyrian Steel – 23BR 2+1HP 1D6 (GNC) vs Captain America – 20BR 3HP 1D12+1D6 (STAG)


Bonus 1FF: Civil War!
Team +£1 million (5) vs Team free £750 million+ character with no wages (5)

Dancing Milk Carton – 1BR 3HP 1D4 (GNC) & Andrew Ryan – 3BR 3HP 1D4 (3DD) & Captain America – 20BR 3HP 1D12+1D6 (STAG) & RoboCop Elsa – 20BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF) & Dutch – 16BR 2HP 1D6 (T6) vs Wolverine – 19BR 2+3HP 1D12+1D8 (GNC) & The Cylons – 20BR 2HP 1D8 (3DD) & Shade of Link – 20BR n/aHP 1D12+1D6 (STAG) & Simba – 12BR 1HP 1D6 (SBF) & The Wicked Witch of the West – 16BR 3HP 1D6 (T6)

Followed by:
1 vs 1 vs 1 vs 1 vs 1

 

[Leewilson]

Interesting card that one. Could well shape the future.

 

[Oaf]

Hogwarts
Lightweight
Kyle Broflovski – 6BR 3HP 1D6 (GNC) vs Charmander – 8BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD)

Charmanders 2 BR advantage just about saw him come out on top here in a very close match. Kyle was lucky to get out of this without his jew-fro being completely singed off.

Mt Olympus
Lightweight
Butters Stotch – 7BR 3HP 1D6 (GNC) vs Magic Broom – 6BR 1HP 1D6 (T6) vs No eligible characters (OAF)

Second fight in a row with a South Park character. That bad ass magic broom nearly did the job here but in the end Butters was just too much for him. He picked up the broom and snapped it over his knee. Butters wins.

But as he’s walking away…

The broom duplicates!

The broom dies, but Team 6 gain two new characters:

Magic Broom [Disney] – 3BR 1HP 1D6 – £100,000/£3,000 – Duplication
Magic Broom [Disney] – 3BR 1HP 1D6 – £100,000/£3,000 – Duplication

Pokemon Stadium
Dice only
Lightweight
The Undertaker – 10BR 3HP 1D6 (STAG) goes unopposed

Quahog
Middleweight
Hulk Hogan – 11BR 2HP 1D6 & Walter White – 3BR 3HP 1D4 (T6) vs Kevin McCallister w/the Golden Axe – 14BR 3HP 1D10 & Carl "CJ" Johnson w/Portal Gun – 14BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD)

CJ didn’t actually do anything in this fight… he just left it all to the bad ass Kevin. Kevins score alone was enough to defeat Hulk Hogan and Walter! He chopped them both to pieces with his golden axe and that was that.

Wonderland
Middleweight
Dancing Milk Carton – 1BR 3HP 1D4 (GNC) vs Simba – 12BR 1HP 1D6 (SBF)

Take a fucking guess? Simba burst the carton open and drank its insides. Brutal stuff.

Rapture
Middleweight
Jafar w/Combat MG – 17BR 2HP 1D6 (GNC) vs Sterling Archer – 8BR 3HP 1D6 (T6)

Fucking take a guess again? Although actually… you’d be surprised. I don’t know what the actual odds of this would have been but… this did not go as expected. Jafar scored a 1 with his BR role… and Archer didn’t just win this, he won it by several points. Shock result of the game so far?

WWE Arena
Death Match
Heavyweight
RoboCop Elsa – 20BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Shade of Link – 20BR n/aHP 1D12+1D6 (STAG)

Again with the great BR characters scoring poorly… Esla got a 4 with her BR roll here, so all Link needed was a half decent roll to confirm the victory. And… he got it. Elsa is killed! Once again!

Nostromo
Death Match
Heavyweight
Predator – 20BR 1HP 1D6 (GNC) goes unopposed

Oblivion
Heavyweight
Gandalf w/Valyrian Steel – 23BR 2+1HP 1D6 (GNC) vs Captain America – 20BR 3HP 1D12+1D6 (STAG)

For the third fight in a row, a character with a great BR scores horrifically… Gandalf scored fucking 4 in this, out of his potential 23! Crazy shit going on this week… but Captain America makes easy work of the wizard and even pulls on his beard a couple of times just to add insult to injury.

Bonus 1FF: Civil War!
Team +£1 million (5) vs Team free £750 million+ character with no wages (5)

Dancing Milk Carton – 1BR 3HP 1D4 (GNC) & Andrew Ryan – 3BR 3HP 1D4 (3DD) & Captain America – 20BR 3HP 1D12+1D6 (STAG) & RoboCop Elsa – 20BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF) & Dutch – 16BR 2HP 1D6 (T6) vs Wolverine – 19BR 2+3HP 1D12+1D8 (GNC) & The Cylons – 20BR 2HP 1D8 (3DD) & Shade of Link – 20BR n/aHP 1D12+1D6 (STAG) & Simba – 12BR 1HP 1D6 (SBF) & The Wicked Witch of the West – 16BR 3HP 1D6 (T6)

First… DRAMA!

VENGEANCE!

Simba is face to face with the killer of his father, Mufasa! Even though they are in the same team, he instantly runs straight for The Wicked Witch of the West and tears her fucking throat out! The Wicked Witch of the West is INSTA-KILLED, losing all of her HP and going straight to the graveyard!

Even being a man down though, it seems like people were leaning toward the free character here, with some weak characters like the milk carton and Andrew Ryan really holding the money team back. Captain America and Elsa tried their best, but it wasn’t enough to overcome a very strong free character team.

Well that was seriously dramatic. We had a Civil War within our Civil War… I never even considered the possibility of that vengeance power coming into play with Simba and the Wicked Witch being on the same team, but these are the scenarios 1FF Wars can throw at you!

However, as the Wicked Witch is dead, this unfortunately rules T6 out of the next round completely…

Winner receives a free £750+ character with no wages!
Wolverine – 19BR 2+3HP 1D12+1D8 (GNC) vs The Cylons – 20BR 2HP 1D8 (3DD) vs Shade of Link – 20BR n/aHP 1D12+1D6 (STAG) vs Simba – 12BR 1HP 1D6 (SBF)

Some MASSIVE scores here, to make up for the poor scores earlier on the card.

The only person to not score well was Simba, who got annihilated. At least he got his vengeance just before death…

As for the other three… they all at least escape taking HP damage from this point on. Link scored an impressive 20, but it still wasn’t enough to stop Wolverine from sticking his claws through his heart. Or you know, his ghost heart. Ok I’m not sure how Wolverine would kill a ghost, or shade or whatever, but it happened.

And then, in a battle of metal claws vs metal men, Wolverine found himself cutting his way through an entire army of Cylons… one after another he cut them down until there were none left standing. Wolverine wins, and GNC have a free character on the way! This could be game changing… or it could be absolute shit. We shall see!

 

[PaulHaddock]

Oaf out.

 

[Leewilson]

Oaf out.

You just won a mega free character. You could be SBF (or T6 who didn't have a great round)

 

[PaulHaddock]

You just won a mega free character. You could be SBF (or T6 who didn't have a great round)

But also lost 4 territories in the process, one of them being a massive upset. Leaves us tight for money/space. Tbf, characters aren't our issue!

 

[Leewilson]

But also lost 3 territories in the process, one of them being a massive upset. Leaves us tight for money/space. Tbf, characters aren't our issue!

True, but your record in bonus fights is insanely good. Would love to know some stats. Think it's fair to say without bonus fights you'd be dead by now

 

[last request]

Oi you cheeky bastard that was an extension for picking sides for the civil war, not to grab more fight card spots.

I did ask permission first in the PM tbf.

Very surprised GNC went after the free character rather than the £1m.

Also, what do ya think T6? :cole

 

[PaulHaddock]

True, but your record in bonus fights is insanely good. Would love to know some stats. Think it's fair to say without bonus fights you'd be dead by now

Yeah, especially as most of the bonuses have been big cash prizes. Though this is only Wolverine's first decent win I'd say, considering he's got some of the best stats in the game.

 

[Oaf]

GNC
Kyle Broflovski loses 1HP
Lose Hogwarts
Butters gains +1BR
Gain 30k
Lose Wonderland
Milk Carton loses 2HP
Jafar loses 1HP
Lose Rapture
Gain 45k
Gandalf loses 1HP
Lose Oblivion
Wolverine gains 1BR, taking him to 20!
Receive a free 750k character with no wages!

3DD
Gain 30k
Charmander gains +2BR
Gain Hogwarts
Gain 75k
Kevin gains +1BR
CJ gains +1BR
Gain Quahog
Andrew Ryan loses 1HP
Andrew Ryan gains 2 wins.

STAG
Gain 45k
Gain 120k
Gain WWE Arena
Gain 120k
Gain Oblivion
Captain America loses 1HP

SBF
Gain 75k
Gain Wonderland
Simba is killed
Elsa is killed
Lose WWE Arena

T6
Magic Broom is killed.
Gain Magic Broom [Disney] – 3BR 1HP 1D6 – £100,000/£3,000 – Duplication
Gain Magic Broom [Disney] – 3BR 1HP 1D6 – £100,000/£3,000 – Duplication
Hulk Hogan loses 1HP
Walter White loses 1HP
Lose Quahog
Archer gains 1BR
Gain Rapture
Gain 75k
Dutch loses 1HP
The Wicked Witch of the West is killed by Simba!

Ok. I feel like I've missed something there as I had a big break midway through updating that. I'm gonna double check it, but it anybody sees something wrong point it out

Or maybe I just got it all right. Let's see...

 

[PaulHaddock]

Andrew Ryan isn't our character