1FF Wars

[Oaf]

Summary:

3DD:
Gain a character offer
Kratos is killed
Michelangelo loses 1HP
Sonic is killed

STAG:
Groot gains 1BR
Gain a character offer
Gain a free character
Gain 300k

Territories:
Oblivion - 3DD to STAG

Overall, a potentially crippling week for 3DD and an incredible week for STAG. 3DD lose their two strongest characters and now have nothing that can surely even come close to beating the likes of Lara or Cap. The finish line must surely be in sight and STAGS surely have one hand on the trophy* now...

*There is no actual trophy. Go make one yourself out of tin foil or something.

 

[Magic]

That's that. Well done Stags.

 

[Oaf]

You know how this game seems to have its head lodged firmly up STAGS ass as of late?

Well, out of the 300 or so characters who they could have got as a freebee... they get...

Big Boss – 16BR 3HP 1D6 – £1,800,000/£70,000 – Leader: Mother Base/Super Soldier

Here's a fact: There are two characters who are worth £2 million. After that, the next most expensive character is £1,800,000. And his name is Big Boss.

Because it wasn't pretty much game over before.

 

[Oaf]

Big Boss is made the new leader of STAG, replacing Lara Croft/Tyler Durden.

BTW, deadline for signings will be set as 4pm on Saturday the 9th. Which yeah, is a long way off, but like I said, TENNIS. Of course if both teams make decisions tonight, we get it done earlier hopefully.

 

[Magic]

I think it's fair to say we won't be purchasing a 500k character, Oaf. Thanks for the thinking time though mate.

 

[Leewilson]

It's done. Well played Stags.

 

[Magic]

I do think it's time for a rematch though. Oaf?

 

[Oaf]

STAGS buy

Han Solo [Light Side] – 12BR 3HP 1D6 – £350,000/£25,000 – Shoots First

He goes straight to Xaviers School for a 1BR boost.

Also, Michelangelo is given the One Ring.

 

[SUTSS]

Another fight card tonight Oaf?

 

[Oaf]

Yeah... in fact, you're getting one RIGHT THE HELL NOW!

Jurassic Park
Double Dice
Lightweight
STAG vs 3DD

Ogrimmar
Middleweight
3DD vs STAG

Wonderland
Random Character Fight
Heavyweight
STAG vs 3DD

Jakku
Death Match/Winner receives 1 free character
Mt Olympus
3DD vs STAG

3DD are sort of lucky in the sense that they're guaranteed to take JP from STAG here... if they lost every match, STAG would have all 21 territories, and thus win the game! Though this may just be a case of delaying the inevitable...

Deadline: 4pm on Saturday again. But if we get this sorted very soon, maybe we can get these results done prior to the football...

 

[Magic]

It's easy when you can put a packet of fucking crisps in a fight and still win.

 

[Oaf]

Right...

As I said, I have been away for a few days. Upon coming back, it seems that my modem managed to completely die at some point... it doesnt light up or anything. It be dedz.

And they arent sending a guy out to replace it until fuggin' Wednesday... and I refuse to try to run something like this on my phone

So 1FF wars remains on hold until wednesday, when it should finally get sorted...

 

[SUTSS]

Boo!

 

[Leewilson]

If this isn't finished before I go on holiday in 2 weeks time....

 

[Stagat]

If this isn't finished before I go on holiday in 2 weeks time....

Can't believe it (we) outlasted Grandstand tbh mate.

 

[HarvSFC]

Poor Oaf.

Has Munkiki gone on his break from the forum?

 

[Magic]

I don't mind stepping in for a week or two...

 

[Oaf]

Right...

As I said, I have been away for a few days. Upon coming back, it seems that my modem managed to completely die at some point... it doesnt light up or anything. It be dedz.

And they arent sending a guy out to replace it until fuggin' Wednesday... and I refuse to try to run something like this on my phone

So 1FF wars remains on hold until wednesday, when it should finally get sorted...

Upon waking up today... it seems that suddenly, and with no reason, my modem is alive again! It's actually done a proper full Jesus in that it was dead for a couple of days and now it's come back. I can't explain it, but fuck it, I'll take the internet while I've got it.

So yeah... update incoming! FINALLY!

 

[Oaf]

Jurassic Park
Double Dice
Lightweight
Finn [Light Side] – 8BR 3HP 1D6 3DD goes unopposed.

Ogrimmar
Middleweight
Michelangelo [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles] – 20BR 2HP 2D6 3DD vs Groot [Guardians of the Galaxy] – 17BR 3HP 1D6 STAG

Michelangelo has the Golden Axe. Groot has the Combat MG.

Wonderland
Random Character Fight
Heavyweight
Captain America [Avengers] – 20BR 2HP 2D12 STAG vs Finn [Light Side] – 10BR 3HP 1D6 3DD

Finn has the portal gun. Cap is given the Valyrian steel, but he can't go any higher!

Jakku
Death Match/Winner receives 1 free character
Mt Olympus
Captain America [Avengers] – 20BR 2HP 2D12 STAG goes unopposed.

 

[Oaf]

Jurassic Park
Double Dice
Lightweight
Finn [Light Side] – 8BR 3HP 1D6 3DD goes unopposed.

Ogrimmar
Middleweight
Michelangelo [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles] – 20BR 2HP 2D6 3DD vs Groot [Guardians of the Galaxy] – 17BR 3HP 1D6 STAG

Groot got a 1 on his BR, meaning he never stood a chance. Michelangelo chops the tree down.

Wonderland
Random Character Fight
Heavyweight
Captain America [Avengers] – 20BR 2HP 2D12 STAG vs Finn [Light Side] – 10BR 3HP 1D6 3DD

A very lucky random selection for STAGS here, as they draw the unstoppable Captain America. Finn never stood much of a chance, and with the way Cap rolled here Finn was mathematically incapable of winning this before he even rolled a single dice.

Jakku
Death Match/Winner receives 1 free character
Mt Olympus
Captain America [Avengers] – 20BR 2HP 2D12 STAG goes unopposed.

 

[Oaf]

Summary:

3DD:
Michelangelo gains 1BR
Finn loses 1HP

STAG:
Groot loses 1HP
Get a free character
Big Boss has 1BR to spend with Mother Base.

Territories:
Jurassic Park - STAG to 3DD
Jakku - 3DD to STAG

 

[Oaf]

STAGs free character is...

Iron Man [Avengers] – 14BR 3HP 1D6 – £500,000/£55,000 – Extremis/Upgrades

 

[Oaf]

Jurassic Park
Lightweight
3DD vs STAG

Jakku
Middleweight
Death Match/Character Offer
STAG vs 3DD

Ogrimmar
Heavyweight
Hitman Fight/Winner gains 100k
3DD vs STAG

Bonus:
Hogwarts
Death Match/Winner may take a territory of their choosing from their opponent (Excluding HQ’s)
STAG vs 3DD

Deadline: Mid day tomorrow!

 

[Oaf]

To answer a question just asked in the STAGS PM in here...

I've just realized that yes, if STAGS win every fight on this card, they will win the game this week. They will take Ogrimmar from 3DD but will fail to take JP as they have no LW characters... however, upon winning the bonus, they'll be able to take JP and thus own all 21 territories!

So yes, to say that this is a big week is to understate things somewhat. 3DD simply must pick up a win or it's game over!

 

[Oaf]

Right, here is what may well be the last ever update for 1FF Wars

Han Solo trains at Mother Base, gaining 1BR.

Jurassic Park
Lightweight
No contest!

Jakku
Middleweight
Death Match/Character Offer
Groot [Guardians of the Galaxy] – 18BR 2HP 1D6 STAG vs Finn [Light Side] – 11BR 2HP 1D6 3DD

Groot is given the Combat MG. Finn is given the golden axe.

Ogrimmar
Heavyweight
Hitman Fight/Winner gains 100k
Captain America [Avengers] – 20BR 2HP 2D12 STAG goes uncontested

Bonus:
Hogwarts
Death Match/Winner may take a territory of their choosing from their opponent (Excluding HQ’s)
Zombie Lara Croft/Tyler Durden – 20BR 2HP 2D6 STAG vs Michelangelo [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles] – 20BR 2HP 2D6 3DD

Michelangelo is given the Portal gun.

 

[Oaf]

Jurassic Park
Lightweight
No contest!

Jakku
Middleweight
Death Match/Character Offer
Groot [Guardians of the Galaxy] – 18BR 2HP 1D6 STAG vs Finn [Light Side] – 11BR 2HP 1D6 3DD

Groot actually gave Finn every chance of winning here by scoring a grand total of 8 with his rolls... however, Finn summed up 3DD's luck by managing to score a total of 7, falling one short. Finn is killed off, leaving 3DD with one character... who is in a death match later himself

Ogrimmar
Heavyweight
Hitman Fight/Winner gains 100k
Captain America [Avengers] – 20BR 2HP 2D12 STAG goes uncontested.

STAGS take Ogrimmar... meaning that 3DD have only Jakku as a territory and Michelangelo as a character. If they lose the next fight, they lose both... and STAGS win 1FF Wars.

So I'm gonna be a prick and make you wait by doing it in a second post.

 

[Magic]

I wonder what will happen...

 

[Oaf]

Bonus:
Hogwarts
Death Match/Winner may take a territory of their choosing from their opponent (Excluding HQ’s)
Zombie Lara Croft/Tyler Durden – 20BR 2HP 2D6 STAG vs Michelangelo [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles] – 20BR 2HP 2D6 3DD

An absolutely even fight here... 20 BR each, 2D6's each. 3DD have had zero luck in the last few weeks/months/years or whatever it's been... if their trend continues now, game over. They simply need to win an even fight.

Lara steps into the great hall of Hogwarts to see a turtle sat at the headmasters table, eating a Pizza. Lara Croft whips out her bow and shoots an arrow at Michelangelo, but he uses his Portal gun to get out of the way and get behind Lara. He whacks her around the back of her head with his nun-chucks sending her reeling. He tries to smash her face in with it but she manages to dodge it, pull out her hunting knife and stick it into Michelangelos leg. While he's staggered, she pulls out a pistol, points it at his head and pulls the trigger...

Spoiler

But he withdraws into his shell just in time! He then sends his shell spinning toward Lara (Squirtle style!) and knocks her off of her feet. He places a portal above Lara and one below himself... jumps into it and then goes back into his shell and comes crashing down toward Lara, shell first...

But Lara moves out of the way! Michelangelo's laying on his shell and can't get himself back up! He struggles, waving his arms and legs in the air and Lara pulls out an arrow, notches her bow...

Spoiler

And shoots him straight through the eye.

Michelangelo is dead.

 

[SUTSS]

YES!

 

[Magic]

Who'd have thought it.