The Advice Thread

[claret50]

See a doctor and stop going to the gym would be my advice.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

Not sure if this counts as advice but there's some intelligent people on here so I thought I'd ask..

I went to the gym today, first thing I did was go on the treadmill, I didn't sprint or anything it was the same basic run I usually do, I came off it and suddenly started feeling light headed and dizzy, I got myself a drink and I felt worse, I stood still snf before I know it my drink is on the floor and I've got a graze on my knee from what must be where they hit the carpet but I have no idea what happened, I don't remember picking myself up off the floor, I couldn't have done that as someone would have come over to me, and after it I felt perfectly fine.

Any idea why that happened? It's never happened in my life and I don't know whether it will happen again. It was proper weird.

Sounds like a possible heart problem mate. I may sound like I'm scaremongering, but better safe than sorry. Get yourself down the doctors.

 

[SamScfc]

Ah shit. I'll have to do that then. Cheers.

 

[IanH]

I'm looking after an infant cousin this weekend, won't stop crying

I've already tried squirting two bottles of no tears shampoo into her eyes but it's had no effect, she won't stop crying, if anything it made it worse

Would appreciate guidance on how to proceed

Ah, I think I know what you did wrong. Easy mistake to make for a budding young baby-sitter.

Alas in the context of shampoo bottles, rythmically:
no tears = no pears
no tears ≠ no fears.

 

[Womble98]

I have pulled something in my neck. I cant turn my neck to the left without massive amounts of pain and it feels physically very tight when I touch the left side. I have read some stuff about massaging it out yourself, but I cant find a decent video/explanation of how to do it. Anyone can help me would be much appreciated

 

[Luke Imp]

About 2 years ago I pulled the right hand side of my neck from what felt like halfway up the back of my head and down across to the shoulder.

All I did was bend down to get some hair product in a morning and it crunched, twinged and that was it. Incredibly painful. Mine didn't settle down from the initial pain for a week or so after and it was a good month before it felt relatively normal. I still had twinges in the neck for a few months.

I used a wheat bag when I got home from work when it first happened and kept that on it but I also used a gel called Voltarol, which was a godsend. Painkiller's didn't really do the job for me, which is why I used that gel but you'll have to check whether you can take pain relief tablets at the same time.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

About 2 years ago I pulled the right hand side of my neck from what felt like halfway up the back of my head and down across to the shoulder.

All I did was bend down to get some hair product in a morning and it crunched, twinged and that was it. Incredibly painful. Mine didn't settle down from the initial pain for a week or so after and it was a good month before it felt relatively normal. I still had twinges in the neck for a few months.

I used a wheat bag when I got home from work when it first happened and kept that on it but I also used a gel called Voltarol, which was a godsend. Painkiller's didn't really do the job for me, which is why I used that gel but you'll have to check whether you can take pain relief tablets at the same time.

You can, just avoid NSAIDS.

 

[Habbinalan]

I have pulled something in my neck. I cant turn my neck to the left without massive amounts of pain and it feels physically very tight when I touch the left side. I have read some stuff about massaging it out yourself, but I cant find a decent video/explanation of how to do it. Anyone can help me would be much appreciated

If it's muscular (pulled/torn), pain relief and time should sort it. Gels seem particularly effective but can kid you it's fixed when it's just not hurting. Also, I recently had an allergic reaction to Ibuprofen gel, having used it with no problems in the past.

If you've put out a vertebra, you may need more help (I'm a regular visitor to our local osteopath due to various long standing back problems).

There are better sources of advice than 1FF. Have you considered the NHS?

http://medicalvideos.org/videos/6172/neck-pain-relief-exercises

 

[Techno Natch]

Right got a stag do in London next Friday, we are going to London and staying near Euston station which isn't far from Camden. Any decent spots or bars that people can recommend for the day time? Any interesting slightly different ideas on what we could do? Think later on were going to go for a curry down Brick Lane way but not sure at the moment. I know London fairly well so places away from Euston would be fine too.

 

[blade1889]

The Ice Bar is decent but expensive

 

[Techno Natch]

That's a good idea, thank you.

 

[IanH]

I've done a couple of Escape the Room things, and suppose there must be some good ones around London. Always leave them strangely buzzing on teamwork / logical / competitiveness, so would recommend doing one of them, if it suits the crowd. The places I've been have more than one room, so you can compete to be first team out / take cumulative times. Breaks it up a little from only drinking anyway.

Alternatively, and I know you'll quite like this one Dan, you could split into pairs for an hour and busk / perform in any way for an hour down Woburn Place / Russell Square (or any other local parks) to raise money for Great Ormond Street, and after pooling all money earned you can walk over to the hospital, give it to the receptionist and buy the winning pair a goldfish bowl of gin and tonic.

 

[IanH]

I've done a couple of Escape the Room things, and suppose there must be some good ones around London. Always leave them strangely buzzing on teamwork / logical / competitiveness, so would recommend doing one of them, if it suits the crowd. The places I've been have more than one room, so you can compete to be first team out / take cumulative times. Breaks it up a little from only drinking anyway.

Alternatively, and I know you'll quite like this one Dan, you could split into pairs for an hour and busk / perform in any way for an hour down Woburn Place / Russell Square (or any other local parks) to raise money for Great Ormond Street, and after pooling all money earned you can walk over to the hospital, give it to the receptionist and buy the winning pair a goldfish bowl of gin and tonic.

Buying the winning pair their drinks from your own pockets obviously, not from the charitable donations (if that wasn't previously clear).

 

[sl1k]

Right got a stag do in London next Friday, we are going to London and staying near Euston station which isn't far from Camden. Any decent spots or bars that people can recommend for the day time? Any interesting slightly different ideas on what we could do? Think later on were going to go for a curry down Brick Lane way but not sure at the moment. I know London fairly well so places away from Euston would be fine too.

Recommend Tayyabs, though not exactly in Brick Lane (just off Whitechapel road) the food is bangin. And they have a bring your own booze policy woot with a offy right next to it. Really busy though, so if you don't book in advance you'll probably queue for a table.

 

[mistermagic]

Not sure if this counts as advice but there's some intelligent people on here so I thought I'd ask..

I went to the gym today, first thing I did was go on the treadmill, I didn't sprint or anything it was the same basic run I usually do, I came off it and suddenly started feeling light headed and dizzy, I got myself a drink and I felt worse, I stood still snf before I know it my drink is on the floor and I've got a graze on my knee from what must be where they hit the carpet but I have no idea what happened, I don't remember picking myself up off the floor, I couldn't have done that as someone would have come over to me, and after it I felt perfectly fine.

Any idea why that happened? It's never happened in my life and I don't know whether it will happen again. It was proper weird.

To me this reads exactly like a very short and very mild epileptic fit where you had a big spasm that made you drop your bottle. I usually have mine where I can still control what I'm doing but always have this fear of dropping something if the spasm comes while I'm handling something fragile (like plates before setting the table).

Have you been to the doctor's to check it out?

 

[ValeMouth]

Right got a stag do in London next Friday, we are going to London and staying near Euston station which isn't far from Camden. Any decent spots or bars that people can recommend for the day time? Any interesting slightly different ideas on what we could do? Think later on were going to go for a curry down Brick Lane way but not sure at the moment. I know London fairly well so places away from Euston would be fine too.

The worlds end in camden is pretty decent. Theres a rock bar opposite the main entrance to Tottenham Court Road tube station (can't remember the name)which is always good.

 

[SamScfc]

I did go to the doctors, she tested my heart rate and blood pressure and said it was fine, then she ended up saying it was something very simple like I wasn't hydrated enough.

 

[mistermagic]

That's refreshing news.

 

[Techno Natch]

Thanks for all the suggestions that's great will look into them all and see what the others think. I can't think of anything worse than a load of beer heads on a stag but hopefully it will be good.

 

[Aber gas]

I need some advice regarding my father. Firstly I should point out that we are not close, he was absent for large periods of my life but that's fine . I've dealt with my own feelings towards him but my children have started asking questions about him and wondering why they don't see him ( they have a strong relationship with their maternal grandparents and my mother ) . I can't answer their questions because I don't know much about his life and I'm not sure how to build a relationship between my dad and my kids . I can be quite blunt and direct when I deal with relationships and I wonder if this in part has caused him to disengage with my family .
So basically I'm asking for any advice on how to build or rebuild family relationships .

 

[blade1889]

I'm probably not the best to answer this but know someone very well who has been through something similar to your father. In his case though it was him that tried to see his daughter more and her that cut him off. Even though hes stubborn he wanted nothing better than to get back in touch with her, even if she wasn't willing to accept it.

After a lot or trying (over years) she finally agreed to meet him and after a while with her grandson also. I dont think they'll ever get on, no matter how much they both try theres too much gone before. Doesn't mean he cant get on with the grandson though with a clean slate.

I know it sounds clichéd but take it slow, no big jumps as I cant imagine it would be easy for either of you. But I think the majority of us can say we did or would have appreciated our grandfathers being in our lives.

Hope it all goes well for you

 

[Aber gas]

Thanks blade . I think you're right about going slow , my wife is going to take the initiative in contacting him . She is definitly a more reasonable and kind person than me , she also doesn't have any feelings towards him so it might be a more constructive conversation than I could have .

 

[blade1889]

Sounds like a good plan. In his case he'd tried and failed to get in touch on his own and was only really made possible once his partner could try and bridge the gap between them both.

 

[Aber gas]

Sounds like a good plan. In his case he'd tried and failed to get in touch on his own and was only really made possible once his partner could try and bridge the gap between them both.

What I need to get over is the idea that he should be making more of an effort . Don't get me wrong , he should but I don't think my attitude is helping and my kids deserve a relationship with their grandad
( even if he is a useless old twat ) couldn't resist !

 

[Red]

Very good advice from blade. It's important that you have recognise and acknowledged how your feelings can have an affect in this dynamic. Maybe at an early stage someone could show your dad a photo of the kids. I don't know whether you feel like you'd want it but if you both did it would be great if it brings you and your dad together. Good luck with it mate and I hope it works out for you all. The way you're approaching this seems a good start.

 

[Aber gas]

Good advice from blade. It's important that you have recognise and acknowledged how your feelings can have an affect in this dynamic. Maybe at an early stage someone could show your dad a photo of the kids. I don't know whether you feel like you'd want it but if you both did it would be great if it brings you and your dad together. Good luck with it mate and I hope it works out for you all.

Thanks red , I'm honestly not arsed about having a relationship with him . I'm 35 and have just accepted that I don't really have a dad for the last decade . Him having something to do with the kids and being civil would do me . Sad really but I just can't afford to engage emotionally with the man .

 

[blade1889]

What I need to get over is the idea that he should be making more of an effort . Don't get me wrong , he should but I don't think my attitude is helping and my kids deserve a relationship with their grandad
( even if he is a useless old twat ) couldn't resist !

That's understandable. And in no way am I an expert or know much about yourself and your father (be a bit creepy if I did, right!?). But from watching long lost family (great show!) there have been several times children have made contact with mothers & fathers and had apprehensions the same as yours, when the parents were asked though they always wanted to make contact but because of what had happened in the past they thought their children may be better off without them or not want them in their lives which put them off trying. May be daft but i guess there always that fear of rejection and sometimes not knowing either way is better than that, even if they may be the ones at fault for the divide in the first place. Obviously not saying that will be the case with yourself just thought id share.

Tbh I suspect the only person that can really help is your wife, she knows you and the issues you have with him. Sounds like she's doing a grand job anyway

 

[Aber gas]

That's definetly the case blade , the longer it goes on the harder it gets . He's not completely out of contact , he sends presents and cards at Christmas which strangely makes it worse because the kids know who he is and can't understand why they can't see him .

 

[Pliny Harris]

I'm wanting to arrange a birthday shindig for myself, but have no idea how to do it.

In short, I have a few friends at home who are largely disparate, don't really know each other and do different things. Then I have friends from my university days 25 miles one way, and another disparate handful of friends 25 miles away in the other direction.

A couple of years back I was still at my old university, got 10 or so friends over from there to my hometown on train, and met up with a few others there. We ate out and everyone was happy. Now we're a load of graduates, a few of whom have stayed on, but largely they've gone to different parts of the UK/world. If I were to pick my ideal guest list there wouldn't be more than two people from the same given town on it. It's logistically impossible to see a group of my favourite people all together now without fooling them into thinking I've been married or died.

Any ideas on how to work around this inevitable graduate woe? I'm tempted to go off to Sheffield/Brighton/Glasgow next weekend to see respective friends there, and basically have a weekend break with one or two important friends instead of a party with whoever I can bundle together.

 

[Blitzballer]

Whilst cycling back from work on Thursday I came across a dead cat on the side of the road about 1 min from my home. It's eye was hanging out and it had obviously been hit by a vehicle. I confirmed it was dead, it had no collar on it so went home and thought nothing of it.
Anyway today a woman and two young kids have been out delivering "missing cat" leaflets (1 year old microchipped no collar). 99% sure its the one I saw looking at the picture. Her kids look devastated.
Can't bring myself to tell them at the moment. There's a contact number on the leaflet . Maybe I should call later???