The Advice Thread

[The Alex]

My lady of 2 years finished me recently, never saw it coming, fucking shit isn't it mate.

 

[The Southbank]

My lady of 2 years finished me recently, never saw it coming, fucking shit isn't it mate.

I can certainly relate. Hope you're holding up.

 

[Libertadores FC]

I'm 18 years old, and I just got out of my first relationship. I dumped my girlfriend and then an hour later I realized that was a mistake. Now I can't function because I am so sad and its been a very difficult time for me. She doesn't want to get back together.

Can anyone give me advice on how to move on?

 

[Son of Cod]

I'm 18 years old, and I just got out of my first relationship. I dumped my girlfriend and then an hour later I realized that was a mistake. Now I can't function because I am so sad and its been a very difficult time for me. She doesn't want to get back together.

Can anyone give me advice on how to move on?

Go to a rave and/or start using Tinder.

 

[SaddlerJonny]

I'm 18 years old, and I just got out of my first relationship. I dumped my girlfriend and then an hour later I realized that was a mistake. Now I can't function because I am so sad and its been a very difficult time for me. She doesn't want to get back together.

Can anyone give me advice on how to move on?

Cut contact completely. Don't send texts, don't message each other, don't pine after her, don't FB stalk her - just cut her out completely and talk to other women.

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

Can anyone give me advice on how to move on?

Start cutting 1.5cm squares out of your local paper. You're going to need loads, so get stockpiling now.

 

[ZianfrancoGoal]

sculpt her face onto a vinyl doll

 

[Libertadores FC]

Honestly any trolls do me a favour and fuck off. This is seriously a tough time for me. Thank you to the one and only person serious to me about this issue. Just give me a break.

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

Apologies.

 

[ZianfrancoGoal]

This is seriously a tough time for me. Thank you to the one and only person serious to me about this issue.

np

 

[sl1k]

If you're seriously looking for a bit of objective advice you need to sort of get into the deets on why you initially dumped her Lib. It could very well be you're being a total mangina and are actually better off without her, in which case you need to man the fuck up get out there and get your dick sucked. With consent obvs don't get all rapey.

If that's not the case however and you have actually made the biggest mistake of your 18 year old life, you still get sucked but learn from your shit and carry over the experience to your next relationship.

 

[blade1889]

Lib...

this is going to sound both patronising and condescending but I have no idea of how not to sound either of those things.

Now I have no idea about your mental health but you really (really really really...) over think things and this is the same. You have been complaining in the box about women issues for ages...*dons Sherlock Holmes hat* now your story tells me some things...

1) You got a girlfriend. Clearly for an 18 year old (don't think I'd even copped off by that age) you clearly don't have too badder issues
2) It wasn't long since you were last complaining so I'm assuming you weren't seeing her for long, so although painful chin up cos it ain't like you've wasted ages till you found out you weren't made for each other
3) She doesn't want to get back = it was never going to work = nothing you could've done = better to know now than later
4) You're 18. Seriously ya duck egg you have ages infront of you so stop dwelling on a teenage romance and get on with life cos the more you're dwelling the more you're missing out on other things

And as above don't fb stalk her (or stalk her in any other way) and ffs don't do what my ex has just done to me and get pissed 6 months later and fb message them asking how good they were in bed...cos thats just embarrassing for the messenger.

 

[Libertadores FC]

Its ok Blade, I'm glad you spoke up. I just need all the help I can get even if it sounds patronising.

 

[Son of Cod]

Honestly any trolls do me a favour and fuck off. This is seriously a tough time for me. Thank you to the one and only person serious to me about this issue. Just give me a break.

I was being serious. If I broke up with my girlfriend, then the first thing I would do would be to get on Tinder (what a wonderful time to be single) and get myself to a rave. Raves and hardcore used to be shit in Canada and the USA but now they're good.

 

[Whitechapel]

I'm 18 years old, and I just got out of my first relationship. I dumped my girlfriend and then an hour later I realized that was a mistake. Now I can't function because I am so sad and its been a very difficult time for me. She doesn't want to get back together.

Can anyone give me advice on how to move on?

Zero contact. I was with my ex for nearly 9 years, we split up mutually after a bad spell living together with her parents. After a few days on my own I too thought I had made a mistake, but realising we were better off without each other I worked on my own issues to become a better person (you're all reaping the benefits, and you're all welcome).

After a few weeks, maybe a month or two you slowly return to normality.

For now, don't speak to her (maybe tell her you're not going to speak to her) and smash it hard at the gym and improve yourself mentally.

It's easier than it seems.

(plus fooling about on tinder and getting drunk Venetian goths pregnant is all that I'd hoped it would be.)

 

[Stocky]

Zero contact. I was with my ex for nearly 9 years, we split up mutually after a bad spell living together with her parents. After a few days on my own I too thought I had made a mistake, but realising we were better off without each other I worked on my own issues to become a better person (you're all reaping the benefits, and you're all welcome).

After a few weeks, maybe a month or two you slowly return to normality.

For now, don't speak to her (maybe tell her you're not going to speak to her) and smash it hard at the gym and improve yourself mentally.

It's easier than it seems.

(plus fooling about on tinder and getting drunk Venetian goths pregnant is all that I'd hoped it would be.)

What happened there then you boring bastard?

 

[TomPNE94]

And as above don't fb stalk her (or stalk her in any other way) and ffs don't do what my ex has just done to me and get pissed 6 months later and fb message them asking how good they were in bed...cos thats just embarrassing for the messenger.

HAHAHAHA no way

 

[blade1889]

HAHAHAHA no way

Haha yeahp, woke up and was like wtf. Assumed they were pissed as it was sent at half past midnight but apparently they weren't...so that's even worse

 

[mistermagic]

I'm 18 years old, and I just got out of my first relationship. I dumped my girlfriend and then an hour later I realized that was a mistake. Now I can't function because I am so sad and its been a very difficult time for me. She doesn't want to get back together.

Can anyone give me advice on how to move on?

For real? I thought you were 40...

 

[Libertadores FC]

For real? I thought you were 40...

I don't know where people get the idea I'm over 30

 

[Womble98]

I need to write a risk assessment for a trip to Lebanon in order to apply for some bursary for it. How specific do I need to be? Anyone know how I write one?

 

[blade1889]

For University?

I've had to fill out a couple before, normally theres a template to use?

Mine had 5 columns: Type of risk, detail on risk, how to avoid the risk, 1-5 dangerousness of risk, 1-5 likelihood of event happening

For the detail/how to avoid I only out down a couple of sentences. Its mainly just to show you've actually thought about what you're doing...at least that's what uni said anyway.

 

[Luke Imp]

At work, ours are Operation, Hazard(s), Persons at Risk, Risk Level, Preventative Measures, Residual Risk Level. Just use excel or a table in word.

Operation - What you're doing
Hazard(s) - Self explanatory
Person at Risk - As above
Risk Level - Split into 2. Probability scored 1-5 with 5 being the highest probability, then Severity of the hazard, again,1-5 with 5 being the most severe. Multiply them together to get a score out of 25.
Preventative Measures - Self explanatory
Residual Risk Level - Risk level after the above measures are taken into consideration, done as the probability multiplied by the severity of hazard again, which should equal a lower score. Obviously the score out of 25 should be lower and scores are opinion rather than fact.

Don't forget a key for the two 1-5 scores:

Probability (P) Severity (S)
1) Not Likely 1) Negligible
2) Possible 2) Slight
3) Quite Possible 3) Moderate
4) Likely 4) High
5) Very Likely 5) Very High

Scores for the above - 1-6 low, 7-15 medium, 16-25 high.

Bish, bash, bosh.

 

[Pliny Harris]

Turns out I'm being filmed for a smartypants quiz show in a few weeks' time. What/how should I revise?

 

[blade1889]

University Challange? Mate from school has just found out hes got through to the TV shows.

If it is then I think you should bring back the leather vest.

 

[Pliny Harris]

That's the one. Nervous already. I'll do a veggie compromise and wear a leatherette vest.

 

[blade1889]

Well congratulations and good luck! I wont bother giving you revision advice cos am sure it's just our praise you wanted

What Uni are you representing?

 

[Pliny Harris]

Salford! Apparently it's our first appearance in my lifetime. We're not even as old as the TV show, go us.

But honestly does anyone have ideas? Currently ploughing through the compositions of Mily Balakirev. Tried memorising a few things on Google Maps but my mind drifted and I ended up just staring at that island between Russia and Alaska.

 

[Aber gas]

Salford! Apparently it's our first appearance in my lifetime. We're not even as old as the TV show, go us.

But honestly does anyone have ideas? Currently ploughing through the compositions of Mily Balakirev. Tried memorising a few things on Google Maps but my mind drifted and I ended up just staring at that island between Russia and Alaska.

Always remember Central African Republic and Lesotho. You can't go wrong.

 

[blade1889]

All about the small Oceania countries nowadays Aber