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Dr Mantis Toboggan

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u are now the number one result when u google that u are internet famous now how's it feel
 

G.B

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The biscuit shortage that recently happened, absolutely disastrous. It's nice to see we're now out of such dark times where walking into a supermarket meant you had to get some cheap knockoff biscuits, shudder.
 

Camborne Gills

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The fucking prick of a bus driver who drove straight past me this evening, which meant I had to walk nearly 4 miles back home in the dark, and I was nearly run over 3 times, c**t !!!
 

Luke Imp

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Something called, and I didn't know this until it was said, Micturition Syncope, which is basically fainting when you've had a piss.

Wednesday night, got up, having a pee, felt a little light headed then realised I was in a bit of trouble and before I could do anything I was gone and face planted the bathroom door and clipped the wall with my hip. Good result really because the bathroom sink would have messed my face up. Came round about what must have been 10 seconds later because I had flushed the toilet but have no recollection of it.

I did the same back in France a few years ago and it was the same thing but this time I crashed into the corner of a worktop, which didn't have a protective corner edge thing on it, and smashed my left cheekbone. Spent the day in a hospital being X-Ray'd and having blood taken.
 

Stevencc

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That could be very messy during those times when you urinate while having a...well when you are having a...shit.
 

Craig

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The fucking prick of a bus driver who drove straight past me this evening, which meant I had to walk nearly 4 miles back home in the dark, and I was nearly run over 3 times, c**t !!!

They're the scum of the earth, bus drivers are.
 

Pagnell

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Twats who drive with their front fog lights on. When there's no fog. Or, even worse, during the day. Presumably they think it makes their Vauxhall Corsa look 'cool'. Or perhaps they're just idiots who don't realise they're on. I'm not sure which is worse.
 

blade1889

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Twats who drive with their front fog lights on. When there's no fog. Or, even worse, during the day. Presumably they think it makes their Vauxhall Corsa look 'cool'. Or perhaps they're just idiots who don't realise they're on. I'm not sure which is worse.

But if they had them on they would have avoided killing Camborne Gills 3 times.
 

mowgli

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As someone posted before Stewart Lee,i flicked through the channels last night and caught this shit. He had a pop at a bloke with a beard who wasn't laughing at his so called comedy and i can't blame the fella who didn't laugh, isn't comedy supposed to make you laugh? I would rather tread on a dog turd in bare feet than listen to Lee's utter bollocks!
 

Christian Slater

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Stewart Lee is brilliant.

I think he's ace. Like him or not he's got his own, distinct style. He's not an assembly line comedian like the dullards on Mock the Week.
 

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If a comedian is too good for Mock The Week logic dictates he must be superb. That show is just soooo funny.
 

smat

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As someone posted before Stewart Lee,i flicked through the channels last night and caught this shit. He had a pop at a bloke with a beard who wasn't laughing at his so called comedy and i can't blame the fella who didn't laugh, isn't comedy supposed to make you laugh? I would rather tread on a dog turd in bare feet than listen to Lee's utter bollocks!
It was the best episode of the series as well.
 

Pliny Harris

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Took a rare trip to Leeds during the daytime. Cycled in from the suburbs and stopped off for a mooch in a record shop, and as soon as I pull up I see this woman racially abusing a couple of Asians, top of her voice, in the middle of Headrow, one of the busiest streets in the whole county. Did any of the 100+ other people around her call her up? Nope. I had a right go at her and could only laugh as she tried it on me, but I'm incredibly disheartened by it all. Be a walking Richard Littlejohn column and all you get is silent complicity.
 

Pliny Harris

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As someone posted before Stewart Lee,i flicked through the channels last night and caught this shit. He had a pop at a bloke with a beard who wasn't laughing at his so called comedy and i can't blame the fella who didn't laugh, isn't comedy supposed to make you laugh? I would rather tread on a dog turd in bare feet than listen to Lee's utter bollocks!

He'll put that post on his website if he finds it. I'm seeing him at the All Tomorrow's Parties music festival next week if they don't decide to cancel it again, can't wait. A great, frustrating performer. The Islamophobia episode of this series' Comedy Vehicle had me in bits.
 
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Something called, and I didn't know this until it was said, Micturition Syncope, which is basically fainting when you've had a piss.

Wednesday night, got up, having a pee, felt a little light headed then realised I was in a bit of trouble and before I could do anything I was gone and face planted the bathroom door and clipped the wall with my hip. Good result really because the bathroom sink would have messed my face up. Came round about what must have been 10 seconds later because I had flushed the toilet but have no recollection of it.

I did the same back in France a few years ago and it was the same thing but this time I crashed into the corner of a worktop, which didn't have a protective corner edge thing on it, and smashed my left cheekbone. Spent the day in a hospital being X-Ray'd and having blood taken.

Did you get piss on yourself? If so, that is rather unfortunate.

I think the lesson here is that you need to start pissing like a woman.
 

Luke Imp

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Haha, nope. Nothing.

Indeed I am for the time being until/if I get called in for blood tests because it's usually anemia, an underlying water infection, dodgy blood pressure or something a lot more serious and at 28, I'm hoping it's not the latter!
 
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The light-headedness sounds like low blood pressure tbh, but I'm obviously not a doctor, so there we are.
 

Stagat

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Something called, and I didn't know this until it was said, Micturition Syncope, which is basically fainting when you've had a piss.

Had it happen a few times me sen down the years. Certainly remember it happening as long ago as 2008 (remember the holiday I was on) but hasn't been for a while now. Maybe a couple of years.

Was often the first pee of a hungover morn iirc. Maybe coz they're really long.

Never got it checked out. Just learnt to recognise that hot and lightheaded feeling early, stop pissing, and sit or even lay down to let it pass. That'd sometimes be on the bathroom floor, and sometimes getting back to the bed.

Typing that last paragraph out now it looks like summat I should maybe have gotten checked out.
 

Red

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Opposing the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre!!!!
Doing outreach in a freezing cold library on a Monday morning. I just want my bed.
 

silkyman

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Macclesfield Town/Manchester City. It's complicated.
Adverts on website that take over the screen and say 'please rotate your device'

NO. Fuck off. I don't want an advert in the first place. Let alone one I have to actively make work.
 

smat

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Adverts on website that take over the screen and say 'please rotate your device'

NO. Fuck off. I don't want an advert in the first place. Let alone one I have to actively make work.
Haha love it. Another classic Silkyman 'bit'.

Actually it'd be great to sift through this thread and put together all the shit observational comedy for an hour-long Netflix special.
 

Stevencc

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What would the special be called?
 

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