1FF Wars

[Leewilson]

Is Oaf alive?

 

[SUTSS]

I think Oaf is punishing us for not being loyal.

 

[Spirederman]

OAAAAAAAFFFFFFF

I Am Loyal.

I have backed you.

I have fought your corner.

This is how you treat your loyalists???


OAF OUT!!!

 

[Spirederman]

Is Oaf alive?

Nonetheless, 300+ members.

We'll keep spreading the word of mouth..

Wilson. Update your fucking profile ffs. You are over a year behind!!!!

 

[Oaf]

Oaf is indeed very much alive.

I think the best way to describe how busy I've been over the last few weeks is to point out that I'm posting this update at 20 past 1 in the morning on a day where I've been up all fucking day after fuck all sleep, and this has literally been my first chance to come on here since my last post

You'll notice that I never set a deadline last time, and unlike all of the other times, this one was actually intended. Because I knew I had a lot of work coming up, plus other stuff like my Birthday (cheers for the well wishes and such by the way, chaps) and I knew there was going to be quite a delay.

So yeah, I'm still here. I'm not actually doing the update now, because I need sleep. It may come at some point tomorrow in the morning or early afternoon. I hope!

 

[Spirederman]

THE MAN BREATHES!!!

Praise the Lord for sparing The Man.

 

[Spirederman]

Oaf is indeed very much alive.

I think the best way to describe how busy I've been over the last few weeks is to point out that I'm posting this update at 20 past 1 in the morning on a day where I've been up all fucking day after fuck all sleep, and this has literally been my first chance to come on here since my last post

You'll notice that I never set a deadline last time, and unlike all of the other times, this one was actually intended. Because I knew I had a lot of work coming up, plus other stuff like my Birthday (cheers for the well wishes and such by the way, chaps) and I knew there was going to be quite a delay.

So yeah, I'm still here. I'm not actually doing the update now, because I need sleep. It may come at some point tomorrow in the morning or early afternoon. I hope!

Or maybe even never???

 

[SUTSS]

Oaf promises the Earth but can't rven deliver us some soil.

 

[Spirederman]

Oaf promises the Earth but can't rven deliver us some soil.

Haha

Just announcing some new signings, or putting up the fight card would have been acceptable.

You can't even do that for us Oaf!

You've some explaining to do, the busy story doesn't wash with myself and it certainly doesn't sit right with SUTSS.

Disgusting.

 

[Spirederman]

Stagnificent sign:

Death – 30BR 9999HP 1D12 – £350,000/£10'000 - One touch you're dead!

Wait, what the fuck just happened......

Death has stepped into the team showers and fallen in love. He puts a cheeky finger up Captain America's arse, he forgot about the one touch and death attribute, Captain America instantly dies. Crash is having none of this and puts on his stupid fucking mask and shouts some tribal bullshit and attacks Death. Death just sticks his dirty finger out which Crash runs into, another one dies. Death then strolls over to Super Meat Boy, surely even Death can't kill this little fucker. Death is seen pointing Super Meat Boy in the head, nothing is happening, Death is confused and rubs his head thinking what to do, Death collapses and dies, he's only fucking killed himself with a touch to the head.

Stagnificent are left £350k down with Bilbo fucking Baggins and a half dead useless Super Meat Boy remaining.

I'm literally in tears at my desk after reading that.

Ffs hahahahha

 

[Oaf]

Are you fuckin' ready?

Because this update is ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN.

RIGHT NOW.

Well, I'm going to read the PM's first. But after that... update!

 

[Oaf]

First, some signings:

GNC buy:
Phoenix Down – £200,000

Wolverine [X-Men] – 15BR 3HP 1D6 – £600,000/£65,000 – Regeneration

SBF buy:

Med-Pack – £30,000 (heals 1HP)

3DD buy:

The Golden Axe – £150,000

Med-Pack – £30,000 (heals 1HP)

STAG buy:

Jesse Pinkman [Breaking Bad] – 4BR 1HP 1D4 – £200,000/NA – Money Maker (£50k)

GNC buy:

John Locke – 5BR 3HP 1D6 – £190,000/£18,000 – Seeker/For the Good of the Island

T6 buy:

John Cena [WWE] – 8BR 3HP 1D6 – £120,000/£15,000 – Super Cena

 

[Oaf]

Also,

3DD use Xaviers School on Elsa.

Scott Pilgrim kisses the comatose Elsa... and she wakes up! Elsa is back in play!

Also, after Liquid Snake was killed, 3DD managed to keep his hand... and they choose to graft it onto Snow White! However, it turns out that some of Liquid Snake was still alive in that hand... and she now finds herself fighting a battle for control of her own body...

Snow White becomes:

Liquid Snow White!

With Liquid Snake's fighting prowess, she is boosted 3BR! However, with her personality taken over... she loses her ability!

In other news...

STAG use a hitman on Jabba the Hutt!

It is...

Spoiler

Successful! Jabba is choked by a chain and left with his tongue lolling out. Jabba is killed!

And finally, a trade is made...

£150,000+Goldenrod City (SBF) for Winterfell (GNC)!

 

[last request]

Farce - 3DD had to post that kiss thing in the thread. Elsa should stay in a coma until they do so. :hesk:

 

[Oaf]

Week 9 fight card:

Normandy
Random Character Fight
Lightweight
T6 vs 1 vs 1

Tardis
Lightweight
T6 vs SBF

Quahog
Middleweight
STAG vs 3DD

Jakku
Middleweight
GNC vs 1

Oblivion
Heavyweight
STAG vs 3DD

Pokemon Stadium
Faction Battle (winner receives an offer of a character from a faction of their choosing)
Heavyweight
SBF vs GNC

Metropolis
ALL OR NOTHING BONUS FIGHT! (Winner recieves £1,000,000! Losers must pay £200k!)
T6 vs GNC vs SBF vs 3DD

Very unlucky for T6... they only own 3 territories, and each one is up for grabs here! If they were to lose every fight, they'd be in that vunerable state of possibly seeing their HQ come up on the next card...

Also, we have the first appearance of the final unclaimed territory here, Oblivion. Once that has been claimed, all 20 territories will be owned.

2 spots, plus the bonus. Deadline: 6pm tomorrow. Which yeah, is short... but I am actually free for a lot of tomorrow, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to take advantage of that after how long that last update took

 

[MagpieBee]

GNC to Pokemon Stadium

 

[Oaf]

Also, next week is week 10... this marks a turning point in the 1FF Wars.

Thus far, you've been playing on "easy" difficulty. Money has been racking up, rosters are growing and generally speaking most of you are in pretty healthy positions. However, starting from week 10, things will get trickier as money will become a bit harder to come by. I'll reveal the nature of that once week 10 begins...

However, week 10 will be a special week with special matches, and a good last chance to rack up some money before it becomes a bit more difficult. What do I mean by that? Again, wait and see...

 

[Spirederman]

GNC TO METROPOLIS

 

[last request]

SBF - Tardis

 

[last request]

SBF - Metropolis

 

[Leewilson]

3DD to Quahog

 

[Leewilson]

3DD to Oblivion

 

[Leewilson]

3DD to Metropolis

 

[Oaf]

Right, Munkiki has pointed out that everybody has taken all of their spots and submitted all characters... so with that in mind, we're going to do this early for a change!

The final card:

Normandy
Random Character Fight
Lightweight
T6 uncontested

Tardis
Lightweight
John Cena – 8BR 3HP 1D6 (T6) vs Young Link – 10BR 3HP 1D6 (SBF)

[Zuul is used to possess John Cena. SBF go unopposed.]

Quahog
Middleweight
Crash Bandicoot – 13BR 2HP 1D6 (STAG) vs Scott Pilgrim – 12BR 2HP 1D6 (3DD)

Jakku
Middleweight
Predator – 15BR 3HP 1D6 (GNC) uncontested

Oblivion
Heavyweight
Captain America – 17BR 2HP 1D8 (STAG) vs Ellen Ripley – 9BR 2HP 1D6 (3DD)

[Ripley dons Power Loader +6BR (15BR 2HP 1D6)]

Pokémon Stadium
Faction Battle (winner receives an offer of a character from a faction of their choosing)
Heavyweight
Dragon Maleficent (SBF) vs Juggernaut (GNC)

[John Locke uses Seeker to replace Maleficent with Peter Pan]

Peter Pan – 5BR 3HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Juggernaut – 15BR 3HP 1D6 (GNC)

Metropolis
ALL OR NOTHING BONUS FIGHT! (Winner recieves £1,000,000! Losers must pay £200k!)
Nathan Drake – 16BR 1HP 1D8 (T6) vs Trevor Philips – 19BR 2HP 1D8 (GNC) vs Bowser – 16BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Elsa – 18BR 4HP 1D6 (3DD)

[Elsa equips the Golden Axe +3BR (20BR 4HP 1D6)] edit: just realised I had this as Elsa on 21BR, when it should have read 20BR... the golden axe does not allow you to go over 20BR.

 

[Oaf]

Normandy
Random Character Fight
Lightweight
T6 uncontested

Tardis
Lightweight
Young Link – 10BR 3HP 1D6 (SBF) goes unopposed.

Quahog
Middleweight
Crash Bandicoot – 13BR 2HP 1D6 (STAG) vs Scott Pilgrim – 12BR 2HP 1D6 (3DD)

Two very evenly matched fighters, this could have gone either way. However, Scott Pilgrim scored superbly here and was able to overcome Crash with no real difficulty. Crash takes damage... but his Aku Aku returns!

Jakku
Middleweight
Predator – 15BR 3HP 1D6 (GNC) uncontested

Oblivion
Heavyweight
Captain America – 17BR 2HP 1D8 (STAG) vs Ellen Ripley – (15BR 2HP 1D6)

Ripley gave herself every chance here by getting into her power loader and making this a much more even fight... but scored a 1 for BR and then a 1 for her dice! Captain America picks up an easy victory for Stagnificent.

Pokémon Stadium
Faction Battle (winner receives an offer of a character from a faction of their choosing)
Heavyweight
Dragon Maleficent (SBF) vs Juggernaut (GNC)

[John Locke uses Seeker to replace Maleficent with Peter Pan]

Peter Pan – 5BR 3HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Juggernaut – 15BR 3HP 1D6 (GNC)

Incredibly, the second character in two fights scored a 1 for both their BR and their dice here... and no, don't worry GNC, it wasn't Juggernaut. Peter Pan scored horribly and got absolutely bulldozed by Juggernaut... who continues to build momentum and is now looking quite formidable.

Metropolis
ALL OR NOTHING BONUS FIGHT! (Winner recieves £1,000,000! Losers must pay £200k!)
Nathan Drake – 16BR 1HP 1D8 (T6) vs Trevor Philips – 19BR 2HP 1D8 (GNC) vs Bowser – 16BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Elsa – 20BR 4HP 1D6 (3DD)

Everybody went for this big one besides Stagnificent... meaning that the winner here will gain a £1,200,000 boost ahead of all teams barring one. An all important fight, as we can tell by the big hitters involved. Two of these characters managed to under perform... those being Drake and Bowser. Both were taken care of rather easily by Elsa and Trevor, who both got two of the highest scores I've seen in 1FF Wars so far. The runner up was unfortunate to lose this one...

And that runner up was the newly awakened Elsa. She scored an 18 and a 5 (23 in total) and still lose to Trevors very impressive 25, scoring an 18 for BR and a 7 on his D8. That dice upgrade won him the match here, pretty much... and has won GNC a fucking boat load of money. Trevor continues to impress and is starting to become the early standout VIP of 1FF Wars in my view

 

[Oaf]

Summary:

GNC
Gain 150k!
John Locke loses "Seeker"
Juggernaut gains momentum...
Gain Pokemon Stadium!
Gain 400k!
Trevor Philips gains 1BR! He's the first character to reach the 20BR cap!
Gain £1m!!!
Gain Metropolis!

3DD
Scott Pilgrim gains a boosted 2BR due to potential!
Gain 250k!
Gain Quahog!
Ellen Ripley loses 1HP!
Elsa loses 1HP!
Lose 200k!

SBF
Gain 150k!
Gain Tardis!
Peter Pan loses 1HP!
Bowser loses 1HP!
Lose 200k!

STAG
Crash Bandicoot loses 1HP!
Crash Bandicoot regains Aku Aku!
Lose Quahog!
Captain America gains 1BR!
Gain 400k!

T6
Gain 150k!
Lose Tardis!
Lose Metropolis!
Nathan Drake gets lucky and avoids losing 1HP!
Lose 200k!

GNC the clear winners of this week, winning all three fights and having Trevor reach 20BR. They're looking great right now.

 

[Techno Natch]

Think you've forgot to add that we gained Oblivion?

 

[Oaf]

Right you are, Natch.

After that update, Team 6 may be in a spot of bother... they managed to avoid losing all three of their territories so they won't have to defend their HQ next week... but they're now on a cap of 8 characters, with 8 on their roster, meaning they won't be able to sign any new characters this week... and if they were to lose Normandy Beach next week and not get one back from somebody else, they'd have to release 4 characters from their roster to fix it!

Plus, as I said, the game is going to start getting trickier starting next week... and one thing that will be happening is that the amount of characters each territory allows you will be dropping. Meaning that next week, simply put, Team 6 MUST take a territory, or they will have to release characters!

Also, DEADLINE...

Again, it'll be a short one.

6pm tomorrow!

 

[PaulHaddock]

Tricky Trev strikes again.

 

[Spirederman]

I fucking love Phillips.

This year's Gandalf.