1FF Wars

[Munkiki]

T6 heal Raphael 1HP via their med-pack and upgrade Donatello to a d8.

3DD release Buzz & Woody.

I think everyone has submitted orders but I can't do the results now (nor will I be about tomorrow), so deadline is 10am, Tuesday.

re: the rap battle. at 8pm, I'll send the teams involved the characters selected for that so you can get cracking on your raps. (same deadline as above) I assume neither want it but just in case I'm giving SBF/T6 half-an-hour to claim that remaining spot.

after 8pm and up to Tuesday 10am, selections to any fight can be made except the raps. once I've let the other team know who they're up against, that's locked in. Ok?

 

[last request]

Rap battle

 

[last request]

F*** I was out and now all the spots are taken where were you Don T?

yay, I didn't realise there was a remaining spot.

 

[SUTSS]

Are the rules for the rap actually going to be enforced this time?

 

[Spirederman]

Are the rules for the rap actually going to be enforced this time?

Guidelines SUTSS.

You should know this.

How does a 3 way rap battle work in whatever words or less...surely we need more words as there are 2 teams and 2 characters.

 

[SUTSS]

We will be entering 10,000 words.

 

[Spirederman]

You can bluff them all you like. Just because we sold you Jafar who was a dud, you've acted out of spite here. Stags probably won't see the light but if they have any sense, they'll take the trade.

Oh and SBF are the shadiest of shady fuckers. Don't ever trust a screenshot from them.

We trusted one from you.

Where did that get us??

Double standards there Lee...but yes Stags if you've any sense you'll take the trade.

You get a character (and an amazing power tbf) they get a territory which will probably see them safe from releasing characters this week, they free up his wages and also get the 25k a week you make for the territory.

Yes!YES! TAKE THE TRADE. SEE SENSE FFS

 

[Leewilson]

We trusted one from you.

Where did that get us??

Double standards there Lee...but yes Stags if you've any sense you'll take the trade.

You get a character (and an amazing power tbf) they get a territory which will probably see them safe from releasing characters this week, they free up his wages and also get the 25k a week you make for the territory.

Yes!YES! TAKE THE TRADE. SEE SENSE FFS

We bought Winston from you and have a gentlemens agreement that we don't use the power vs you. You know if we sell it to Stags then it could backfire on you as they could very well choose to use it against you.

Of course we want a territory. It's the entire reason we're trying to trade with Stags or else we'd keep Winston and use him somewhere down the line.

But because you're upset we sold you Jafar (after SBF had conned us), you're now out to sabotage anything we do, which is sour grapes from GNCs behalf. But hopefully Stag see through that and realise that you are out to confuse and put yourself in pole position.

 

[Munkiki]

Damn, I so wanted this to be Oaf's problem...

Here's the original brief:
"Epic Rap Battle: BR and Dice don't matter here... it's all about rapping skills! Once both characters have been revealed, each team must write a short rap in one paragraph consisting of no more than 150 words, dissing the fuck out of their opponent and their team. I will then judge a winner. Points for being creative, funny and making the other guy look like a bitch. Standard stuff."

We'll say for a 3-way, we'll not worry about paragraphs. You can either write a single rap dissing both opponents (character + team) or write it in two parts (for each opponent). Just be sensible re: a word limit. 150-300 words is probably reasonable.

 

[SUTSS]

"no more than"....

 

[Spirederman]

We bought Winston from you and have a gentlemens agreement that we don't use the power vs you. You know if we sell it to Stags then it could backfire on you as they could very well choose to use it against you.

Of course we want a territory. It's the entire reason we're trying to trade with Stags or else we'd keep Winston and use him somewhere down the line.

But because you're upset we sold you Jafar (after SBF had conned us), you're now out to sabotage anything we do, which is sour grapes from GNCs behalf. But hopefully Stag see through that and realise that you are out to confuse and put yourself in pole position.

SBF didn't con us Lee...stop blaming them. That was all you.

There's no denying Winston's power is immense.

There's no chance of it backfiring on us at the minute though as you well know.

 

[Spirederman]

Also love how it's only ever GNC who are accused of having sour grapes.

Never anyone else. I dunno what you expect when we gave you Scorpion and useless Winston.

 

[Leewilson]

SBF didn't con us Lee...stop blaming them. That was all you.

There's no denying Winston's power is immense.

There's no chance of it backfiring on us at the minute though as you well know.

SBF conned us with the Jafar sale. We then had to shamefully try and repair the damage done so we sold him to you. Still, you're now sour over that so I understand why you're trying to sabotage our deal with Stags as revenge.

 

[Spirederman]

I will still reiterate though that Winston's power IS AWESOME.

 

[Spirederman]

SBF conned us with the Jafar sale. We then had to shamefully try and repair the damage done so we sold him to you. Still, you're now sour over that so I understand why you're trying to sabotage our deal with Stags as revenge.

So what you're effectively saying is YOU conned us right??

SBF conned you, you just 'sold' him to us...albeit you felt shameful about being ripped off by SBF so I appreciate you couldn't bear to lift your heads for the spotlight to shine on you

We are happy you are relieved of feeling shamed, we're genuinely pleased for you guys.

Be wary Stags.

Btw we aren't trying to sabotage you in revenge for Jafar. It's just a boring generic reasoning behind it.

 

[Spirederman]

Oh and...

I FUCKING LOVE THIS GAME!!

 

[Spirederman]

The only sad thing to come out of all this for me is it feels like Veggie Legs genuinely dislikes me now.

I really hope this is not the case.

I don't dislike any of you guys in here.

I just want to win.

 

[Leewilson]

The only sad thing to come out of all this for me is it feels like Veggie Legs genuinely dislikes me now.

I really hope this is not the case.

I don't dislike any of you guys in here.

I just want to win.

Nobody dislikes you Spired.

 

[HarvSFC]

I'm not too fond of him.

 

[The Hand of Dom]

The only sad thing to come out of all this for me is it feels like Veggie Legs genuinely dislikes me now.

I really hope this is not the case.

I don't dislike any of you guys in here.

I just want to win.

He has been non stop slagging you off in the 3DD thread to be fair.

Brutal.

 

[PaulHaddock]

Anyone want to trade Spireder? His power is awesome (honest)

 

[Magic]

3DD buy professor x for the agreement that Veggie takes Spidey out for dinner.

Sent from my HTC Desire EYE using Tapatalk

 

[Stagat]

 

[Magic]

I'm enjoying this game more now that everyone has outed themselves as monumental c***. Lots of fun.

 

[Munkiki]

Dr. Manhattan is ZUUL'd. Stagnificent use Phoenix Down to revive Captain America.

Metropolis – Lightweight
Faction Battle
Kevin McCallister w/The Golden Axe – 14BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD) vs Indiana Jones w/Valyrian Steel – 13BR 1HP 1D6 (GNC)

Kevin (6BR) loves to defend home territories and is equipped with the Golden Axe boosting him +5BR and +3BR. Indy (10BR) is equipped with Valyrian Steel boosting him +3BR.

Mount Doom – Lightweight
Simba – 10BR 3HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Pikachu w/Portal Gun – 10BR 2HP 1D6 (3DD)

Pikachu (8BR) is equipped with the Portal Gun boosting him +2BR.

Oblivion – Middleweight
Epic Rap Battle
Juggernaut – 14BR 2HP 1D8 (GNC) vs Super Meat Boy – 3BR 9,990HP 1D4 (STAG) vs Dragon Maleficent – 15BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF)

Dragon Maleficent is still befuddled.

Quahog – Middleweight
Double Dice
Scorpion – 15BR 3HP 2D6 (3DD) vs Big Daddy – 15BR 3HP 2D6 (STAG) vs Dutch – 14BR 2HP 2D6 (T6)

South Park – Heavyweight
Godzilla – 18BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Trevor Philips – 20BR 2HP 1D8 (GNC)

Mt Olympus – Heavyweight
The Wicked Witch of the West – 16BR 3HP 1D6 (T6) vs Captain America – 20BR 1HP 1D12 (STAG)

Jakku – Bonus – £500,000
Random Character Fight
GNC (3) vs 3DD (3) vs STAG (3) vs T6 (3)

GNC: Jafar – 10BR 3HP 1D6 & Wolverine – 18BR 2HP 1D10 & Professor Xavier – 17BR 2HP 1D6
3DD: Danerys Targaryen – 2BR 2HP 1D6 & The Cylons – 18BR 3HP 1D8 & Scorpion – 15BR 3HP 1D6
STG: Genie of the Lamp – 12BR 3HP 1D6 & Aladdin – 5BR 3HP 1D6 & Velociraptor – 12BR 2HP 1D6
TSX: Goofy – 11BR 1HP 1D6 & Donatello – 19BR 2HP 1D8 & Raphael – 19BR 2HP 1D8

Wolverine (17BR)/Prof X (16BR), Genie (11BR)/Aladdin (4BR) and Donatello (18BR)/Raphael (18BR) gain +1BR boosts for being in a multi-fight with faction members.

 

[Munkiki]

Metropolis – Lightweight
Faction Battle
Kevin McCallister w/The Golden Axe (3DD) vs Indiana Jones w/Valyrian Steel (GNC)

A close encounter between child and archaeologist. Home advantage just about sees Kevin through. Indy is dead.

Mount Doom – Lightweight
Simba (SBF) vs Pikachu w/Portal Gun (3DD)

Evenly matched on paper, this was pretty one-sided when it come down to the crunch. Cat vs mouse, no surprise who the winner is here. Simba defends Mount Doom.

Oblivion – Middleweight
Epic Rap Battle
Juggernaut (GNC) vs Super Meat Boy (STAG) vs Dragon Maleficent (SBF)

Juggernaut steps up:

Super Best Friends,
Think they're here till this ends,
LR's such a wanker
Who photoshops all PM's he sends.

They used to have Cardsfan,
Fucking 12 year old wasteman,
Couldn't handle the pressure,
So told his Super friends, "I'm done fam"

Remember Derby fan James?
When Cards left he said 'sames'
That's 2 super best dick moves
Fuck it though, Rammy approves.

He starts stuttering then freezes, eventually he tries again:

Silly Bitch Fraud,
They must be bored
Of Photoshopping offers
But they'll never stop us
Coz GNC is gonna fuck ya proper

Dave wastes his life
Gambling and stalking Twitter
We all know he's just bitter
Coz he wishes his missus was fitter

But again, he stops. His mind has gone blank, in embarrassment he runs off the stage... (GNC didn't enter a final rap)

Next up, Super Meat Boy:

Ding ding motherfuckers seconds out round two,
Meatboy is back asking who the fuck are you,
GN-fucking-C and SB-fucking-F,
Your raps make real G's like me wish they were fucking deaf.

Tonberry you dog you know I'm the real Don,
I've got 9,990 lives but a bitch ain't one,
Let's take it to the streets I'm calling MagpieBee out,
I'm a hooligan, a thug, I'm a motherfucking lout.

Haddock at the back trying not to catch my eye,
I'll sit you on your arse it's where your rhymes are gonna die,
I see you last request, you think SBF is booming,
Cardsfan's only 12 you pest, SBF's a front for grooming.

Spire and Harv scared of what I'll say next,
What's Meatboy talking 'bout, what's the subtext,
Ain't no subtleties fool I'm just telling how it is,
You and SBF tasting ma lyrical jizz.

I'm trying not to chunder but it's hard not to gag,
When I'm in a rap battle vs a fat c*** and a slag,
I asked Maleficent if she's seen Juggernaut in his kecks when,
She said she can't be sure coz she's got loads of fucking ex-men.

Jugger-fucking-naut aka Cain Marko,
Step to me kid let my rhymes knock you sparko,
Maleficent you skank you got many friends up in the Moors?
I'll come check ya'll out bitch I need me some new whores.

I entered the Dragon last night when the beauty was sleeping,
Now Juggernaut's backed off so quick he's started fucking beeping,
Caution motherfuckers coz that vehicle is reversing,
Anyone got a Med-Pack coz this Dragon bitch needs nursing.

Stop the match please it's a double KO,
Meatboy standing tall over fat lad and the ho,
You'll never #beatthemeat with your rhymes so insignificant,
Juggernaut caught short, Maleficent fucked by Stagnificent.

He looks confident as he gives up the stage for Maleficent:

Here comes their fat Humpty Dumpty lookin tart,
I guess selecting an eligible BR fighter is a start.
Beast is dead and his bald twat boss is next,
Jafar has to resort to his parrot for sex.
Gandalf’s long stick won’t reach Haddock’s fishy itch,
Magpie and Harv both wannabe Butters’ bottom bitch.
GNC? They’re about as black as Goldie Lookin Chain,
we sold ‘em woeful Winston when his power weren’t the same.
They balance their ineptitude with sketchy jackpot hits,
we wish they would just fuck right off the flukey little shits.
Now stop your feeble mind games coz us sly bastards have no fears,
you’ve lost this battle Spire so go and cry a few more tears.

Meat Boy is embarrassing he never brings the pain,
30 thousand pounds a week just flushed straight down the drain.
Stags spend all day on their knees, scooping raptor turds,
they're no-hoper rappers coz they don't spit enough words.
Techno is a meth addict, Stagat’s a smarky fool,
SUTSS will stop his smirking once he sees that he’s been skool’d.
Now hear this harsh truth while Natch smokes yet another blunt...
…Steady has gone AWOL coz he thinks Dave is a c***.
You’ve been so crap it’s funny, so thank you for the laughs,
it all changed though when you killed Link – you won’t escape our wrath.
The hunt is on, the traps are set, can’t wait to see you fall,
we’ll keep on Zuuling blue dick ‘til you’re antlers on the wall.

Her state of befuddlement causes her to mix up some of her words but you get the jist and she makes it through her rap without too many hiccups.


[sorry guys, something has come up. I'll judge the winner and finish the results when I get back.]

 

[Veggie Legs]

Take a bow whoever wrote that Stagnificent rap, it's superb.

 

[Spirederman]

We've fucked up again hahaha.

They were only sketchy ideas from us, thought the rap deadline was later like last time out.

Regardless both Stags and SBF's are fucking superb and doubt we'd have topped either.

Great stuff from you guys...gonna be tough for Munks to call that.

 

[Leewilson]

Both raps are class. Stags had me laugh out loud a few times. I'd probably just edge with that but SBFs was very good also.

 

[Spirederman]

You'll never #beatthemeat with your rhymes so insignificant,
Juggernaut caught short, Maleficent fucked by Stagnificent.


GENIUS