Things We Hate

[Pagnell]

My kids > Wife > Myself > Immediate Relatives/Selected extended family > Friends > Extended family > Pets (if I had any) > General public > Manchester United fans.

 

[Camborne Gills]

My daughter>Me>Parents/Brothers>Other family and Ex-partner>Closest friends>Team mates/other friends>Other people>Franchise and Swine fans

 

[mnb089mnb]

My wife said to me the other day "Sometimes I think you love Tottenham Hotspurs more than me!"
"Darling, I like the Arsenal more than I like you."

etc,

 

[JimJams]

My kids > Wife > Myself .

Do you think you'd be pretty upset if you passed away?

 

[Pagnell]

Fucking gutted.

I was thinking more about how I view the order of priorities now.

 

[mnb089mnb]

Do you think you'd be pretty upset if you passed away?

His wife would be as I imagine Pagnell is the only one in the household who can understand the increasingly complex "media solution" he has created for watching the telly.

 

[Stevencc]

Being asked if I want to sign up for a session of paintball 50% of the time I enter a supermarket.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

People who talk on the phone whilst having a shit. It's weird.

 

[Red]

Being asked if I want to sign up for a session of paintball 50% of the time I enter a supermarket.

Get your Mrs to throw blotches of paint all over your clothes mate before you go every time you go there. Give the impression that you're just nipping in on the way home from a paintballing sesh.

 

[shane]

Update: I still really, really dislike Lewis Hamilton.

 

[johnnytodd]

Update: I still really, really dislike Lewis Hamilton.

racist

 

[JimJams]

*racerist

 

[Luke Imp]

At this moment in time, my dental practise.

Now, I don't mind going to the dentist so it wasn't really bothering me that I had to have a couple of fillings on the same side of my mouth. Nor have I ever had any problems with them to be fair.

I was booked in a couple of Monday's ago for just over an hour to get them done (white fillings, so they take longer), turned up at 8am on the Monday morning and they'd moved it to a week on Tuesday without telling me. Not ideal seen as I work a good hour or so away at Scunthorpe.

They then cancelled that Tuesday because they'd double booked, but fair enough. At least I wasn't there and booked me in for the following Tuesday - today.

Sit down at 8.15am, given the aesthetic to then be told the computers were down so he was working off what it said on a piece of paper. Starts drilling away or whatever they do, and when I reminded him they were white fillings, he told me that a) he wasn't aware of that and b) there wasn't enough time to do it, so he stuck a temporary filling. Tried telling him that it was an hour appointment I was in, and he said not. Turned out some prat had decided to half my appointment to fit another couple of people in.

So I've now got a further 2x 1 hour appointements in 4 and 5 weeks time.

 

[SALTIRE]

Cat had to be put down. Second time I've lost a cat to cancer; if you start to notice weight loss get them checked out straight away.

 

[Leo]

Cat had to be put down. Second time I've lost a cat to cancer; if you start to notice weight loss get them checked out straight away.

Thoughts with you mate. Can imagine how you're feeling.

 

[mowgli]

Cat had to be put down. Second time I've lost a cat to cancer; if you start to notice weight loss get them checked out straight away.

Mate i'm so sorry to hear that sad news, i love my cat so i can understand what you're going through losing a pet you loved as they are a part of our lives and when they've gone they live a big hole in our lives.

 

[SALTIRE]

Mate i'm so sorry to hear that sad news, i love my cat so i can understand what you're going through losing a pet you loved as they are a part of our lives and when they've gone they live a big hole in our lives.

Yeah its been a horrible last few days tbh, and I keep seeing things that belong to him, expect to hear his footsteps coming up the lobby, or see him playing with my ear plugs! We are a bit raw at the moment, and he will be badly missed, but it was for the best in the end unfortunately, and he had a great life even before we knew him so we can't complain really.

I'll have a few drams for his memory later on.

 

[QPR_Matt]

Writing a best man speech for my brother, who does not drink or do anything to put himself in a situation to have the piss taken out of him. I want to get a joke in that starts 'The worst kept secret since ...' but I cannot think of a funny one. Any ideas?! I am just about getting there for him, but the speech is on Friday. Got a feeling I should keep it as is, but where I am reading it so often I am getting bored so keep changing it - which could be fatal.

 

[The Paranoid Pineapple]

Your cat has the appearance of a rather STERN SNARF, saltire He didn't star in a popular 80s animated series per chance?

Sorry for your loss x

 

[mowgli]

Yeah its been a horrible last few days tbh, and I keep seeing things that belong to him, expect to hear his footsteps coming up the lobby, or see him playing with my ear plugs! We are a bit raw at the moment, and he will be badly missed, but it was for the best in the end unfortunately, and he had a great life even before we knew him so we can't complain really.

I'll have a few drams for his memory later on.

Mate i will have a couple of glasses of Somerset cider brandy before bedtime and will raise one to Leo.

 

[Leo]

Writing a best man speech for my brother, who does not drink or do anything to put himself in a situation to have the piss taken out of him. I want to get a joke in that starts 'The worst kept secret since ...' but I cannot think of a funny one. Any ideas?! I am just about getting there for him, but the speech is on Friday. Got a feeling I should keep it as is, but where I am reading it so often I am getting bored so keep changing it - which could be fatal.

Worst kept secret since.......750 home owners near Heathrow said "Compulsory purchase orders ? Nah, never happen'....

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

Writing a best man speech for my brother, who does not drink or do anything to put himself in a situation to have the piss taken out of him. I want to get a joke in that starts 'The worst kept secret since ...' but I cannot think of a funny one. Any ideas?! I am just about getting there for him, but the speech is on Friday. Got a feeling I should keep it as is, but where I am reading it so often I am getting bored so keep changing it - which could be fatal.

Don't try too hard would be my advice. Get a few quips and jokes in but contrary to belief, it's not a time to humiliate him.

 

[QPR_Matt]

Don't try too hard would be my advice. Get a few quips and jokes in but contrary to belief, it's not a time to humiliate him.

I have not gone OTT. I would have loved to, but the type of person he is, I havent been able to. His stag do I didnt even bother dressing him up or anything, as I would know he hates it.

It is such a small wedding as well, he has not even invited any of his mates. I just wanted to get a little joke in there to add to ones I already have which are just us growing up.

I have done this once before, but my mate who I done it for was such a wild, clumsy lovable bloke I could rip into him, it was a case of having too much material! He was fun to write for.

 

[claret50]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your cat, Salty.

 

[SALTIRE]

Cheers all for the support. I'll raise a glass to all your health during my wee session later tonight.

 

[Aber gas]

I have not gone OTT. I would have loved to, but the type of person he is, I havent been able to. His stag do I didnt even bother dressing him up or anything, as I would know he hates it.

It is such a small wedding as well, he has not even invited any of his mates. I just wanted to get a little joke in there to add to ones I already have which are just us growing up.

I have done this once before, but my mate who I done it for was such a wild, clumsy lovable bloke I could rip into him, it was a case of having too much material! He was fun to write for.

Piece of piss mate. Just be funny ( but not too much) make people cry( in a good way) and generally be super witty with a fair bit of humility. Nothing to worry about.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

Cat had to be put down. Second time I've lost a cat to cancer; if you start to notice weight loss get them checked out straight away.

Shit. Just seen this, sorry to hear mate. Fucking awful.

Writing a best man speech for my brother, who does not drink or do anything to put himself in a situation to have the piss taken out of him. I want to get a joke in that starts 'The worst kept secret since ...' but I cannot think of a funny one. Any ideas?! I am just about getting there for him, but the speech is on Friday. Got a feeling I should keep it as is, but where I am reading it so often I am getting bored so keep changing it - which could be fatal.

The worst kept secret since..... The holocaust?

Is that in bad taste? I'll go now.

 

[Craig]

My life.

 

[Veggie Legs]

Update: I still really, really dislike Lewis Hamilton.

Doesn't everyone?

 

[T.A]

My life.