1FF Wars

[Munkiki]

Week 13 Fight Card:

Jakku (lightweight)
GNC (2) vs 2

Normandy Beach (lightweight)
T6 vs 1

Jurassic Park (middleweight)
SBF vs T6

Orgrimmar (middleweight)
STAG vs GNC

Nostromo (heavyweight)
Random Character Fight
SBF vs 3DD vs 1

Wonderland (heavyweight)
STAG vs 3DD

Mount Doom (bonus)
£600,000
SBF vs 3DD vs GNC vs T6

2 spots + bonus

Deadline: 3pm tomorrow

 

[Leewilson]

3DD to Mount Doom

 

[Leewilson]

3DD to Nostromo

 

[PaulHaddock]

GNC to Ogrimmar and Mount Doom

 

[Munkiki]

T6 sign:

Hulk Hogan [WWE] – 8BR 3HP 1D6 – £120,000/£15,000 – Hulk Up

 

[markpvfc]

T6 to Jurassic Park

 

[Leewilson]

3DD to Wonderland

 

[IanH]

T6 to mount doom

 

[Munkiki]

ATTACK!

A team passed up the opportunity to take control of the Death Star and in doing so, it falls into the wrong hands. The new owner decides to test it's capabilities with multiple blasts from its superlaser.

Luckily it's not fully functional so doesn't outright destroy everything but the territories and their populations take a severe beating. Until restored (4 weeks), territories only support 2 characters per one and 20% of the income goes towards the rebuilding.

Professor Xavier takes no damage.
Beast takes 2HP damage. Beast is DEAD.
Indiana Jones takes 1HP damage.
Homer Simpson takes 1HP damage.
Juggernaut takes 3HP damage. Juggernaut is DEAD.
Scorpion takes 2HP damage.
Predator takes no damage.
Wolverine takes 1HP damage.
John Locke takes 2HP damage. Locke is DEAD.
Gollum takes 3HP damage. Gollum is DEAD.
Hodor takes 3HP damage. Hordor is DEAD.
Trevor Philips takes no damage.

Andrew Ryan takes no damage.
Elsa takes 3HP damage. Elsa is DEAD.
Scott Pilgrim takes 1HP damage. Through the Power of Love and Understanding, he gains 2BR.
Carl "CJ" Johnson takes 3HP damage. CJ is DEAD.
Pikachu takes 2HP damage.
The Bride takes 1HP damage.
The Cylons take no damage.
Drax takes 2HP damage.
Kevin McCallister takes 2HP damage.

Captain America takes no damage.
Super Meat Boy takes 2HP damage.
Crash Bandicoot takes 1HP damage. Crash is DEAD.
Bilbo Baggins takes 1HP damage.
Jesse Pinkman takes no damage.
Marcus Fenix takes no damage.

Stay Puft takes 2HP damage.
Mewtwo takes 1HP damage.
Mufasa takes 2HP damage. Mufasa is DEAD.
Dragon Maleficent takes 1HP damage.
Peter Pan takes 2HP damage. Peter is DEAD.
Baloo takes no damage.
Link takes no damage.
Kaa takes 1HP damage.
Liquid Snow White takes no damage.

Goody takes 2HP damage. Goofy is DEAD.
Dutch takes no damage.
Lara Croft takes 3HP damage. Lara is DEAD.
Raphael takes 1HP damage.
The Wicked Witch of the West takes 2HP damage.
John Cena takes no damage.
Hulk Hogan takes 1HP damage.

 

[HarvSFC]

Elsa's a big loss, 3DD aren't going to be happy.

 

[HarvSFC]

Also, bring back Oaf.

 

[Leewilson]

So which team causes that chaos?

We took the absolute brunt of that attack. 2 characters taking 3HP, 3 characters taking 2HP. I suppose GNC took a hit as well but at least not to any real crucial characters.

Game changer that.

 

[MagpieBee]

What. The. Fuck.

We took the most damage it of any team, but Elsa and Lara are dead, which helps us a lot I guess.

 

[MagpieBee]

GNC take 18 damage, 5 characters die

3DD take 16 damage, 2 characters die

Stags take 4 damage, 1 character dies

SBF take 9 damage, 2 characters die

T6 take 7 damage, 2 characters die


No doubt we definitely came off the worst from that actually. The last 2-3 weeks have been brutal to our team, from arguably leading to having our whole team decimated.

 

[Munkiki]

 

[Leewilson]

You win the Internet. You fucker

 

[MagpieBee]

Lame. Was enjoying Elsa and Lara being dead...

 

[Magic]

lol jk, we're still absolutely bossing you all.

 

[Leewilson]

Lame. Was enjoying Elsa and Lara being dead...

I was more annoyed at Trevor somehow surviving again.

 

[Spirederman]

I totally fell for that tbh, then I realised the date!

 

[SUTSS]

I vote that we re-instate the death star attack.

 

[Munkiki]

ZUUL possesses Lara Croft but she wasn't involved in a battle.

Jakku (lightweight)
Indiana Jones – 8BR 2HP 1D6 & John Locke – 5BR 2HP 1D6 (GNC) uncontested

Normandy Beach (lightweight)
John Cena – 8BR 2HP 1D8 (T6) uncontested

Jurassic Park (middleweight)
Dragon Maleficent – 14BR 2HP 1D6 (SBF) vs Dutch – 14BR 3HP 1D6 (T6)

Orgrimmar (middleweight)
Marcus Fenix – 14BR 2HP 1D6 (STAG) vs Wolverine – 15BR 3HP 1D10 (GNC)

Nostromo (heavyweight)
Random Character Fight
Stay Puft – 15BR 3HP 1D6 (SBF) vs The Bride – 16BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD)

Wonderland (heavyweight)
Captain America – 19BR 2HP 1D8 (STAG) vs Scott Pilgrim w/Golden Axe – 19BR 3HP 1D6 (3DD)

Mount Doom (bonus)
£600,000
Link – 18BR 3HP 1D12 (SBF) vs The Cylons – 19BR 2HP 1D8 (3DD) vs Trevor Philips – 20BR 1HP 1D8 (GNC) vs Hulk Hogan – 8BR 3HP 1D6 (T6)

Link, the Cylons and Trevor chuckle at the sight of Hulk but he takes a swig of Polyjuice Potion and transforms into Lara Croft.

Link – 18BR 3HP 1D12 (SBF) vs The Cylons – 19BR 2HP 1D8 (3DD) vs Trevor Philips – 20BR 1HP 1D8 (GNC) vs Hulk Hogan as Lara Croft – 17BR 3HP 2D6 (T6)

 

[Munkiki]

Jakku (lightweight)
Indiana Jones & John Locke (GNC) uncontested

Normandy Beach (lightweight)
John Cena (T6) uncontested

Jurassic Park (middleweight)
Dragon Maleficent (SBF) vs Dutch (T6)

Evenly matched on paper, evenly matched in practice. Maleficent edged a very close encounter to defend Jurassic Park.

Orgrimmar (middleweight)
Marcus Fenix (STAG) vs Wolverine (GNC)

Marcus continued his awful start to 1FF Wars, losing his fifth fight out of six. Unlike their Middleweight Cup clash, this wasn't even remotely close. Wolverine ripped him to shreds.

Nostromo (heavyweight)
Random Character Fight
Stay Puft (SBF) vs The Bride (3DD)

Stay dominated this fight. The Bride never really got going, her sword just slicing straight through the marshmallow man without causing any real damage. SBF defend another territory.

Wonderland (heavyweight)
Captain America (STAG) vs Scott Pilgrim w/Golden Axe (3DD)

Cap would have been clear favourite but helped by the Golden Axe, Pilgrim wasn't going to be stopped. Not quite sure how this goes but he annihilated the Avenger.

Mount Doom (bonus)
£600,000
Link (SBF) vs The Cylons (3DD) vs Trevor Philips (GNC) vs Hulk Hogan as Lara Croft (T6)

Seeing him as the main threat, the other three ganged up on Trevor and he was eliminated very early. It was much closer between Link, the Cylons and Hulk but it wasn't long before the latter also fell - probably distracted by having boobs. Link and the Cylons continued at it and there were no signs either would let up.

Long after everyone else had either fallen asleep or gone home, the two finally passed out from exhaustion. It's a tie. Neither take damage, neither gain money nor BR, Mount Doom remains with SBF.

Trevor dies and Hulk loses 1HP.

 

[Spirederman]

RIP Trevor Phillips!

He will return one day!

 

[Spirederman]

And sodomise the lot of you c***

 

[Munkiki]

GNC:
Gain £75,000
Wolverine gains 1BR
Gains £125,000
Gains Orgrimmar
Trevor Philips is killed

3DD:
The Bride loses 1HP
Scott Pilgrim gains 2BR
Gains £200,000
Gains Wonderland

STAG:
Marcus Fenix loses 1HP
Lose Orgrimmar
Captain America loses 1HP
Lose Wonderland

SBF:
Dragon Maleficent gains 1BR
Gains £125,000
Stay Puft gains 1BR
Gains £200,000

T6:
Gain £75,000
Dutch loses 1HP
Hulk Hogan loses 1HP

Wages/earnings done. Offers now being sent. Deadline will be tomorrow 5pm (/when I get home from Carra Rud)

GNC use their Phoenix Down to revive Trevor... again.

 

[Munkiki]

GNC buy a Med-Pack

3DD sign:

Terry Tibbs – 1BR 1HP 1D4 – £80,000/£4,000 – Talk to me

Mushroom – £100,000

GNC give the Med-Pack to Trevor.

SBF sign:

Winston Zeddemore [Ghostbusters] – 3BR 3HP 1D6 – £150,000/£15,000 – Don't cross the streams

 

[Spirederman]

GNC buy a Med-Pack

3DD sign:

Terry Tibbs – 1BR 1HP 1D4 – £80,000/£4,000 – Talk to me

Mushroom – £100,000

GNC give the Med-Pack to Trevor.

SBF sign:

Winston Zeddemore [Ghostbusters] – 3BR 3HP 1D6 – £150,000/£15,000 – Don't cross the streams

SBF you shithouses.

If THAT power is the same as last time, then it's a hella good one.

We used it to devastating effect last time out.

 

[Munkiki]

3DD sign:

Daenerys Targaryen – 2BR 3HP 1D6 – £1,000,000/£50,000 – Leader: Fire and Blood

Using Terry Tibbs' Talk to Me in negotiations they manage to reduce her signing on fee to £750,000.

The Cylons gain +1BR through Xavier's School and they give their Mushroom to Kevin McCallister, boosting him +2BR.

GNC sign:

Abe – 2BR 3HP 1D6 – £400,000/£25,000 – Possession

Godzilla – 17BR 3HP 1D6 – £750,000/£50,000 – King of the Monsters

 

[Spirederman]

'Kin ell, Dany's power must be good, with her coming in at a cool 1m (Or 750k as a special price for 1 Dick and a Magic, seeing as though Munks has been so kind to them!)

Must be some kinda Dragony style shit going down there.